Derek Van Schaik | Why they are mean when you are nice @DerekVanSchaik | Uploaded June 2023 | Updated October 2024, 14 hours ago.
Have you ever met someone who was instantly cold and mean to you even though you were warm and nice to them, and what’s their psychology for acting that way?

This likely says more about them than it does about you. This is many times a fear of being rejected by others causing them to preemptively reject you as a defense mechanism to prevent emotional pain, maintain a feeling of control, and may have low self-confidence due to their negative self-perception. Also, bad past experiences have caused them to feel that they will be rejected, abandoned, and taken advantage of assuming you may also do the same. The sad part about this is that it’s also a self-fulfilling thought where the more they fear rejection – the more rejection they will surely experience because they are making themselves into someone people want to reject and abandon.

A favorite saying of mine is ironically from an old Crest TV commercial.
“Life opens up when you do.”

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