Derek Van Schaik | Why everyone on dating apps seem so flawed @DerekVanSchaik | Uploaded May 2023 | Updated October 2024, 8 hours ago.
What’s the psychology of why dating apps cause potential partners to focus so much on your flaws?

In psychology, there is confirmation bias and fundamental attribution error. Many subconsciously perceive someone they see on a dating app as less desirable, since no one likes being on them. Therefore, they assume there must be something about you that no one else wants, which causes them to seek to confirm this belief and attribute it to your internal factors, such as attractiveness, personality, or income. Thus, during the process of them getting to know you, they often become fixated on your flaws to confirm their perceived belief that those on dating apps are undesirable. However, they subconsciously attribute situational factors to themselves for why they are on that app, such as my job is so demanding that I don’t have time to meet new people, which increases their perceived value in comparison to your value.

The point is that it may take time for the person you find online to stop looking down on you for being on the very dating app that they are also on.

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