Uploaded June 2025 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
The aftermath of the infamously viral podcast about my post-conventional relationship with my beloved wife Vylana and Alana Beale has been one of the hardest months of my life. It’s forced me to ask deep, penetrating questions about who I am, at the core of my being. The process has been profoundly alchemical, a kind of calcination where all the bullsh*t parts are burnt away, and the real truth remains. What you will see on this podcast with my former fiancé and current best friend Caitlyn Howe is an honest exploration of all the vulnerabilities, cracks, faults, mistakes, of a real, living, breathing human being.
I am so thankful for this process. Not just for the outpouring of love and support, but for the sharp critiques that help excavate what is really under the surface if you have the courage to look.
I am not sorry for being who I am. But I am deeply sorry for everyone who has been hurt by people who didn’t have the courage or awareness to know their truth. I have been on both sides, as a person that has hurt people and as a person who has been hurt by people. My prayer is that this story can in some way inspire that same alchemical process of self inquiry and clarification so there can be less pain and more beauty, in a world that desperately needs to balance the scales.
Thank you for following this story, thank you for your precious time and attention. Whether it has been in anger or love, it has all been medicine. Thank you.
Check out Caitlyn Howe’s new poetry book Ridiculous Masterpiece chakaruna.com/collections/books
| Caitlyn Howe |
►Website | poetqueen.com
►Instagram | instagram.com/thepoetqueen
Chapters
00:00 Intro
02:54 Navigating Vulnerability and Public Perception
06:14 The Impact of Labels and Scapegoating
09:06 The Role of Compassion in Controversy
12:03 Rehumanizing the Individual
14:56 Personal Stories and Shared Experiences
17:58 The Nature of Relationships and Love
20:54 Understanding the Human Condition
23:57 The Journey of Self-Discovery
35:38 Exploring Love and Relationships
39:00 The Complexity of Engagement and Expectations
43:08 Heartbreak and the Journey of Self-Discovery
46:25 Radical Fidelity vs. Monogamy
49:42 Navigating Emotional Challenges in Open Relationships
52:04 Power Dynamics and Authentic Relationships
55:24 The Role of Intuition in Relationships
01:01:22 The Journey of Finding Connection
01:09:59 Truth and Chaos in Relationships
01:12:23 Navigating Relationships and Personal Growth
01:17:53 Cultural Shifts in Relationship Dynamics
01:22:12 The Complexity of Love and Commitment
01:27:23 Exploring Intimacy and Vulnerability
01:33:05 The Reality of Desire and Monogamy
01:39:03 Embracing Truth and Authenticity
| Aubrey Marcus |
► Love To The Seventh Power: chakaruna.com/collections/books
► Own The Day, Own Your Life: bit.ly/2vRz4so
► Aubrey Marcus Podcast: apple.co/2ns8zFP
► Ayahuasca Documentary: bit.ly/2OrNBTf
► Get 10% off all Onnit Products: bit.ly/3LMVArK
►Newsletter aubreymarcus.com/pages/email
| Listen to the Aubrey Marcus Podcast |
►iTunes | apple.co/2lMZRCn
►Spotify | spoti.fi/2EaELZO
►Stitcher | bit.ly/2G8ccJt
►IHeartRadio | https://ihr.fm/3CiV4x3
►Google Podcasts | bit.ly/3nzCJEh
►Android | bit.ly/2OQeBQg
| Connect with Aubrey |
►Website | bit.ly/2GesYqi
►Instagram | bit.ly/2BlfCEO
►Facebook | bit.ly/2F4nBZk
►Twitter | bit.ly/2BlGBAdAd
=============================================
About the Podcast
Founder of Onnit and modern philosopher Aubrey Marcus asks the important questions: How do we find our purpose, wake up to who we truly are, have a few more laughs, and human being a little better?
The Aubrey Marcus Podcast brings in world-class guests from the fields of athletics, health, business, fitness, science, relationship and spirituality, and asks them to open up about the failures and successes that define their wisdom and character.
Follow me on social to keep up with the latest, and meet many of the incredible guests we’ve been honored to have on the show.
The aftermath of the infamously viral podcast about my post-conventional relationship with my beloved wife Vylana and Alana Beale has been one of the hardest months of my life. It’s forced me to ask deep, penetrating questions about who I am, at the core of my being. The process has been profoundly alchemical, a kind of calcination where all the bullsh*t parts are burnt away, and the real truth remains. What you will see on this podcast with my former fiancé and current best friend Caitlyn Howe is an honest exploration of all the vulnerabilities, cracks, faults, mistakes, of a real, living, breathing human being.
I am so thankful for this process. Not just for the outpouring of love and support, but for the sharp critiques that help excavate what is really under the surface if you have the courage to look.
I am not sorry for being who I am. But I am deeply sorry for everyone who has been hurt by people who didn’t have the courage or awareness to know their truth. I have been on both sides, as a person that has hurt people and as a person who has been hurt by people. My prayer is that this story can in some way inspire that same alchemical process of self inquiry and clarification so there can be less pain and more beauty, in a world that desperately needs to balance the scales.
Thank you for following this story, thank you for your precious time and attention. Whether it has been in anger or love, it has all been medicine. Thank you.
Check out Caitlyn Howe’s new poetry book Ridiculous Masterpiece chakaruna.com/collections/books
| Caitlyn Howe |
►Website | poetqueen.com
►Instagram | instagram.com/thepoetqueen
Chapters
00:00 Intro
02:54 Navigating Vulnerability and Public Perception
06:14 The Impact of Labels and Scapegoating
09:06 The Role of Compassion in Controversy
12:03 Rehumanizing the Individual
14:56 Personal Stories and Shared Experiences
17:58 The Nature of Relationships and Love
20:54 Understanding the Human Condition
23:57 The Journey of Self-Discovery
35:38 Exploring Love and Relationships
39:00 The Complexity of Engagement and Expectations
43:08 Heartbreak and the Journey of Self-Discovery
46:25 Radical Fidelity vs. Monogamy
49:42 Navigating Emotional Challenges in Open Relationships
52:04 Power Dynamics and Authentic Relationships
55:24 The Role of Intuition in Relationships
01:01:22 The Journey of Finding Connection
01:09:59 Truth and Chaos in Relationships
01:12:23 Navigating Relationships and Personal Growth
01:17:53 Cultural Shifts in Relationship Dynamics
01:22:12 The Complexity of Love and Commitment
01:27:23 Exploring Intimacy and Vulnerability
01:33:05 The Reality of Desire and Monogamy
01:39:03 Embracing Truth and Authenticity
| Aubrey Marcus |
► Love To The Seventh Power: chakaruna.com/collections/books
► Own The Day, Own Your Life: bit.ly/2vRz4so
► Aubrey Marcus Podcast: apple.co/2ns8zFP
► Ayahuasca Documentary: bit.ly/2OrNBTf
► Get 10% off all Onnit Products: bit.ly/3LMVArK
►Newsletter aubreymarcus.com/pages/email
| Listen to the Aubrey Marcus Podcast |
►iTunes | apple.co/2lMZRCn
►Spotify | spoti.fi/2EaELZO
►Stitcher | bit.ly/2G8ccJt
►IHeartRadio | https://ihr.fm/3CiV4x3
►Google Podcasts | bit.ly/3nzCJEh
►Android | bit.ly/2OQeBQg
| Connect with Aubrey |
►Website | bit.ly/2GesYqi
►Instagram | bit.ly/2BlfCEO
►Facebook | bit.ly/2F4nBZk
►Twitter | bit.ly/2BlGBAdAd
=============================================
About the Podcast
Founder of Onnit and modern philosopher Aubrey Marcus asks the important questions: How do we find our purpose, wake up to who we truly are, have a few more laughs, and human being a little better?
The Aubrey Marcus Podcast brings in world-class guests from the fields of athletics, health, business, fitness, science, relationship and spirituality, and asks them to open up about the failures and successes that define their wisdom and character.
Follow me on social to keep up with the latest, and meet many of the incredible guests we’ve been honored to have on the show.
