CsillaLoli | who I am | vent @CsillaLoli | Uploaded 4 years ago | Updated 56 seconds ago
audio: youtu.be/xqZME0u3sco
footage: koe no katachi
time: 3 days
If you want to read the vent portion, keep reading &if not, you can stop :)
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What's the point of living? Why am I even alive?
I don't ask this because I want to end my life, not one bit! I wonder this because I don't know what makes me happy... I have moments that I feel the sparks of joy but its short-lived. I just feel so alone despite knowing logically that I'm not. I know that there are other people like me who are suffering like this or worse but I can't seem to convince myself. There's still that darkness that creeps into my mind and its getting harder and harder to argue with it. I know people may chalk it up to deployment blues but it isn't- these are thoughts that have been on my mind for almost a year and have only gotten worse in the last few weeks.
I started therapy back in April and something my therapist said in our FIRST meeting has recently clicked for me: I live a very depressing life.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(the hashtags are what I suffer from)
#clinicaldepression #PTSD
audio: youtu.be/xqZME0u3sco
footage: koe no katachi
time: 3 days
If you want to read the vent portion, keep reading &if not, you can stop :)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
What's the point of living? Why am I even alive?
I don't ask this because I want to end my life, not one bit! I wonder this because I don't know what makes me happy... I have moments that I feel the sparks of joy but its short-lived. I just feel so alone despite knowing logically that I'm not. I know that there are other people like me who are suffering like this or worse but I can't seem to convince myself. There's still that darkness that creeps into my mind and its getting harder and harder to argue with it. I know people may chalk it up to deployment blues but it isn't- these are thoughts that have been on my mind for almost a year and have only gotten worse in the last few weeks.
I started therapy back in April and something my therapist said in our FIRST meeting has recently clicked for me: I live a very depressing life.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(the hashtags are what I suffer from)
#clinicaldepression #PTSD
