Uploaded September 2009 | Updated September 2026, 2 hours ago
Riki "Garfunkel" Lindhome and Kate "Oates" Micucci sing a song about getting a medical marijuana card in California.
LYRICS:
Everyone knows marijuanas dangerous
And medical pot is really strong
Thats why its so hard it California
To get your weed card
Unless somethings really wrong
Gonna pay a visit to my doctor
Its a long shot but I gotta try
She hands me a list of all the ailments
I can have to qualify
Cant believe what I am reading
This is just what Ive been needing
A government supply
To get legally high
Weed card, thats what I need
Hardly ever, okay, always
But its not an addiction
Cause my doctor gave me a prescription
You can get your card for having headaches, bad dreams or anxiety
Propensity for drugs or alcohol,
Anorexia or Obesity
Too fat, too thin, either way you win)
Carpal tunnel syndrome, color blindness,
St-st-stuttering, t-t-tooth decay
Fatigue, depression, motion sickness,
Impotence or TMJ
You can smoke to quit cigarettes
For asthma or mother fucking Tourettes
Its a dream come true
Theres nothing pot cant do
Weed card, thats what I need
Hardly ever, okay, always
But its not an addiction
Cause my doctor gave me a prescription
Got back pain need mary jane
Cant handle this, need cannabis
Got a stomach ache, gotta wake and bake
Have an injury, need tch
Get fucked up for your hyperhydrosis
Which is sweaty palms in case you need a diagnosis
Its not a crime, its 4:20 time
Weed card, thats what I need
Hardly ever, okay, always
But its not an addiction
Cause my doctor gave me a prescription
Riki "Garfunkel" Lindhome and Kate "Oates" Micucci sing a song about getting a medical marijuana card in California.
LYRICS:
Everyone knows marijuanas dangerous
And medical pot is really strong
Thats why its so hard it California
To get your weed card
Unless somethings really wrong
Gonna pay a visit to my doctor
Its a long shot but I gotta try
She hands me a list of all the ailments
I can have to qualify
Cant believe what I am reading
This is just what Ive been needing
A government supply
To get legally high
Weed card, thats what I need
Hardly ever, okay, always
But its not an addiction
Cause my doctor gave me a prescription
You can get your card for having headaches, bad dreams or anxiety
Propensity for drugs or alcohol,
Anorexia or Obesity
Too fat, too thin, either way you win)
Carpal tunnel syndrome, color blindness,
St-st-stuttering, t-t-tooth decay
Fatigue, depression, motion sickness,
Impotence or TMJ
You can smoke to quit cigarettes
For asthma or mother fucking Tourettes
Its a dream come true
Theres nothing pot cant do
Weed card, thats what I need
Hardly ever, okay, always
But its not an addiction
Cause my doctor gave me a prescription
Got back pain need mary jane
Cant handle this, need cannabis
Got a stomach ache, gotta wake and bake
Have an injury, need tch
Get fucked up for your hyperhydrosis
Which is sweaty palms in case you need a diagnosis
Its not a crime, its 4:20 time
Weed card, thats what I need
Hardly ever, okay, always
But its not an addiction
Cause my doctor gave me a prescription
