TheraminTrees | weaponising self-affirmation [cc] @TheraminTrees | Uploaded 3 years ago | Updated 1 hour ago
An exploration of the increasing trend of individuals misusing therapeutic self-affirmation language for abusive ends.
You can support the channel at: patreon.com/TheraminTrees
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0:00 pseudo-self-affirmation
4:20 Gimme unconditional love!
9:51 I’m not responsible for your feelings!
13:38 I’m exercising self-care!
16:10 I don’t have to explain myself!
20:56 You’re just projecting your issues!
25:54 Unless we resolve things we won’t heal!
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opening quote:
The abuser lives in a Bizarro world. Everything becomes its opposite.Corruption becomes honesty. Sickness becomes health. Villain becomes victim.
Reflected in this malignant mirror, the tools of healing and recovery are often forged into weapons of debilitation and relapse.
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subtitles
Bulgarian: Djeitko
Russian: Sergey Savelyev
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references:
Edyvane, D. (2003) Against unconditional love. Journal of applied philosophy 20 (1) pp.59-75
Luft, J. and Ingham, H. (1955) The Johari window, a graphic model of interpersonal awareness. Proceedings of the western training laboratory in group development. Los Angeles: UCLA
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Biblical passages
Exodus 31:15 Whoever does any work on the Sabbath day is to be put to death.
Numbers 1:51 But any unauthorized person who goes too near the Tabernacle must be put to death.
Deuteronomy 21:10–14 When you go to war against your enemies .... and you take captives, if you notice among the captives a beautiful woman and are attracted to her, you may take her as your wife .... If you are not pleased with her, let her go ....
Psalms 137:9 Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.
Mark 12:30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.
John 15:10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love ....
John 15:14 You are my friends if you do what I command
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Crown Prosecution Service: cps.gov.uk/crime-info/domestic-abuse
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music © TheraminTrees
Full original music tracks used in videos are available to patreon supporters who pledge at the $1 per video level.
An exploration of the increasing trend of individuals misusing therapeutic self-affirmation language for abusive ends.
You can support the channel at: patreon.com/TheraminTrees
--
0:00 pseudo-self-affirmation
4:20 Gimme unconditional love!
9:51 I’m not responsible for your feelings!
13:38 I’m exercising self-care!
16:10 I don’t have to explain myself!
20:56 You’re just projecting your issues!
25:54 Unless we resolve things we won’t heal!
--
opening quote:
The abuser lives in a Bizarro world. Everything becomes its opposite.Corruption becomes honesty. Sickness becomes health. Villain becomes victim.
Reflected in this malignant mirror, the tools of healing and recovery are often forged into weapons of debilitation and relapse.
--
subtitles
Bulgarian: Djeitko
Russian: Sergey Savelyev
--
references:
Edyvane, D. (2003) Against unconditional love. Journal of applied philosophy 20 (1) pp.59-75
Luft, J. and Ingham, H. (1955) The Johari window, a graphic model of interpersonal awareness. Proceedings of the western training laboratory in group development. Los Angeles: UCLA
--
Biblical passages
Exodus 31:15 Whoever does any work on the Sabbath day is to be put to death.
Numbers 1:51 But any unauthorized person who goes too near the Tabernacle must be put to death.
Deuteronomy 21:10–14 When you go to war against your enemies .... and you take captives, if you notice among the captives a beautiful woman and are attracted to her, you may take her as your wife .... If you are not pleased with her, let her go ....
Psalms 137:9 Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.
Mark 12:30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.
John 15:10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love ....
John 15:14 You are my friends if you do what I command
--
Crown Prosecution Service: cps.gov.uk/crime-info/domestic-abuse
--
music © TheraminTrees
Full original music tracks used in videos are available to patreon supporters who pledge at the $1 per video level.
![weaponising self-affirmation [cc]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/G1fhYZdn1pE/hqdefault.jpg "weaponising self-affirmation [cc]
An exploration of the increasing trend of individuals misusing therapeutic self-affirmation language for abusive ends.
You can support the channel at: https://www.patreon.com/TheraminTrees
0:00 pseudo-self-affirmation
4:20 Gimme unconditional love!
9:51 I’m not responsible for your feelings!
13:38 I’m exercising self-care!
16:10 I don’t have to explain myself!
20:56 You’re just projecting your issues!
25:54 Unless we resolve things we won’t heal!
opening quote:
The abuser lives in a Bizarro world. Everything becomes its opposite.Corruption becomes honesty. Sickness becomes health. Villain becomes victim.
Reflected in this malignant mirror, the tools of healing and recovery are often forged into weapons of debilitation and relapse.
subtitles
Bulgarian: Djeitko
Russian: Sergey Savelyev
references:
Edyvane, D. (2003) Against unconditional love. Journal of applied philosophy 20 (1) pp.59-75
Luft, J. and Ingham, H. (1955) The Johari window, a graphic model of interpersonal awareness. Proceedings of the western training laboratory in group development. Los Angeles: UCLA
Biblical passages
Exodus 31:15 Whoever does any work on the Sabbath day is to be put to death.
Numbers 1:51 But any unauthorized person who goes too near the Tabernacle must be put to death.
Deuteronomy 21:10–14 When you go to war against your enemies .... and you take captives, if you notice among the captives a beautiful woman and are attracted to her, you may take her as your wife .... If you are not pleased with her, let her go ....
Psalms 137:9 Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.
Mark 12:30 And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.
John 15:10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love ....
John 15:14 You are my friends if you do what I command
Crown Prosecution Service: https://www.cps.gov.uk/crime-info/domestic-abuse
music © TheraminTrees
Full original music tracks used in videos are available to patreon supporters who pledge at the $1 per video level.")
![the impossible game [cc]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Gcw1YEtTQCw/hqdefault.jpg "the impossible game [cc]
You can support the channel at: https://www.patreon.com/TheraminTrees
Slovak subtitles: Peter Ščigulinský
Spanish subtitles: Kenji/Subtítulos por Kenji
The impossible game is the hunt for gods — each path in the game represents a particular proposed god/groups of gods. The paths are not life paths or world views. The goal of the game has nothing to do with being a good person, or finding personal fulfilment, or any number of other relativistic enterprises. The goal is very specific: to find a god/gods that exists.
You will hear claim after claim on whatever path you choose. You can play for years — but will you actually find any gods? Up to you whether you wish to play the impossible game.
The clip is taken from the second video in the series there are no gods series.
music © TheraminTrees")
![preaching to the converted [cc]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/H57Z0yE3Qgw/hqdefault.jpg "preaching to the converted [cc]
You can support the channel at: https://www.patreon.com/TheraminTrees
subtitles
Bulgarian: Djeitko
Dutch: kedrednael
Slovak: Peter Ščigulinský
Im getting this comment that Im just preaching to the converted with increasing regularity — Id like to nip it in the overgrown bud. Not only does it encourage nothing but apathy and inaction, but on the briefest examination its shown to be based on clearly flawed premises.")
![bending truth | how adults get indoctrinated [cc]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/IaUhR-tRkHY/hqdefault.jpg "bending truth | how adults get indoctrinated [cc]
A reflection on the importance of acknowledging that we can all be manipulated.
You can support the channel at: https://www.patreon.com/TheraminTrees
opening quote:
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
— Douglas Adams
subtitles
Arabic: TranquilOblivion
Brazilian Portuguese: Aymar Pescador Jr
Bulgarian: Djeitko
Czech: Jan Špaček
Slovak: Peter Ščigulinský
Studies:
Aronson, E. and Mills, J. (1959) The effects of severity of initiation on liking for a group. Journal of Abnormal and Social Psychology 59 (2), pp.177–181
Knox, R.E. and Inkster, J.A. (1968) Postdecision dissonance at post time. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 8 (4), pp.319-323
Worth reading:
Festinger, L., Riecken, H. and Schachter, S. (1956) When prophecy fail — a social and psychological study of a modern group that predicted the destruction of the world. Harper-Torchbooks. [Re-editions by other publishers]
music © theramintrees")
![living with abusers [cc]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/K4YZoNxSZNU/hqdefault.jpg "living with abusers [cc]
A look at the navigating life with abusers.
You can support the channel at: https://www.patreon.com/TheraminTrees
opening quote:
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it there.
I still fall … it’s a habit …
—Portia Nelson, Autobiography in five short chapters
0:00 control and coercion
2:55 assessing risk — looking at the abuser with a cold eye
12:39 distancing manoeuvres — looking at how we can remove the hooks
22:26 counteracting poison — finding clean water
subtitles
Bulgarian: Djeitko
references/reading
Andreassen, C.S., Pallesen, S. and Griffiths, M.D. (2017) The relationship between addictive use of social media, narcissism, and self-esteem: findings from a large national survey. Addictive Behaviors 64, pp.287–293
Danesh, H.B. (1978) The authoritarian family and its adolescents. Canadian Psychiatric Association Journal 23 (7) pp.479-485
Fan, C.Y., Chu, X.W., Zhang, M. and Zhou, Z.K. (2019) Are narcissists more likely to be involved in cyberbullying? Examining the mediating role of self-esteem. Journal of Interpersonal Violence 34 (15) pp.3127-3150.
Nelson, P. (1993) There’s a hole in my sidewalk. Beyond Words publishing, Oregon.
Oesterreich, D. (2005) Flight into security: a new approach and measure of the authoritarian personality. Political psychology 26 (2) pp.275-297
music © TheraminTrees
Full original music tracks used in videos are available to patreon supporters who pledge at the $1 per video level.")
![telling stories | how humble tales manipulate us [cc]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/NfyoDgszas0/hqdefault.jpg "telling stories | how humble tales manipulate us [cc]
An encouragement to be aware of the manipulative power of stories.
You can support the channel at: https://www.patreon.com/TheraminTrees
opening quote:
Stories are propaganda, virii that slide past your critical immune system and insert themselves directly into your emotions. Kill them and cut them open and they’re as naked as a nightclub in daylight.
― Cory Doctorow, Eastern Standard Tribe
subtitles
Bulgarian: Djeitko
Slovak: Peter Ščigulinský
Russian: Sergey Savelyev
Since putting the video up, Ive been informed by Al Sunshine of a clip from BBC that illustrates hermit crab cooperation:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLUAoTjdmZ8
studies mentioned:
Green, M.C. and Brock, T. (2000) The role of transportation in the persuasiveness of public narratives. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol. 79 (5), pp.701-721
Appel, M. and Richter, T. (2007) Persuasive effects of fictional narratives increase over time. Media Psychology, Vol. 10 (1), pp.113-134
music © theramintrees")
![thats a red flag? but I do that.... [cc]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/NkLM8HTYY1g/hqdefault.jpg "thats a red flag? but I do that.... [cc]
An exploration of the concept of ‘red flags’ — possible warning signs of bad actors.
You can support the channel at: https://www.patreon.com/TheraminTrees
opening quote:
Stella: Once it was: See somebody, get excited, get married. Now it’s: Read a lot of books, fence with a lot of four-syllable words, psychoanalyse each other until you can’t tell the difference between a petting party and a civil service exam!
Jeff: Well that’s fine Stella. Now would you fix me a sandwich please?
[home nurse Stella lectures an incapacitated Jeff in Alfred Hitchcock’s Rear Window (1954)]
0:00 the appeal of red flags
1:14 a troublesome concept
2:33 positive ‘love-bombing’?
3:11 the zabaglione effect
4:28 red flags vs red lights
5:44 assessing motives
6:26 case study: ‘Isak‘
6:48 style vs substance
7:52 a questionable benchmark
8:58 assessing a new relationship
9:49 mirroring
10:32 interrogation
10:55 overblown expressions of trust
11:32 love bombing
11:42 rush to commit
12:52 mood swings
13:19 silent treatments
13:51 dominance tests
14:25 ambivalence
14:48 unfit partners don’t need to be ‘monsters’
15:54 the revamp
17:14 summary
music © TheraminTrees
Full original music tracks used in videos are available to patreon supporters who pledge at the $1 per video level.")
![appropriating morality | how the Judeo-Christian tradition takes false credit [cc]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/OsAaxOFOUl4/hqdefault.jpg "appropriating morality | how the Judeo-Christian tradition takes false credit [cc]
Some thoughts about the tendency of religious groups to claim intellectual ownership of morality.
You can support the channel at: https://www.patreon.com/TheraminTrees
opening quote:
Believers in religion teach us that God will reward men for good actions, but men who are intellectually free, know that the reward of a good action cannot be given by any power, but that it is the natural result of the good action.
The free man, guided by intelligence, knows that his reward is in the nature of things, and not in the caprice even of the Infinite. He is not a good and faithful servant, he is an intelligent free man.
—Robert G. Ingersoll
subtitles
Arabic: TranquilOblivion
Bulgarian: Djeitko
Portuguese [Brazilian]: Débora T. F. Silveira
Spanish: Martin Gonzalez
Correction: at 6:54, Matthew passage should read 5:38 instead of 5:43. Thanks to TranquilOblivion for picking up on that.
Animal studies
Frans De Waal talk/articles:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GcJxRqTs5nk
Proctor, D., Williamson, R.A., de Waal, F.B.M. and Brosnan, S.F. (2013) Chimpanzees play the ultimatum game. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences USA 110 (6)
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3568338/
Proctor, D., Brosnan, S.F. and de Waal, F.B.M. (2013) How fairly do chimpanzees play the ultimatum game? Communicative & Integrative Biology 6 (3)
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3656016/
see also:
Vulcan and Virgil, the sharing capuchins:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BYJf2xSONc
chimpanzees conflict and resolution
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdKUm6fLOgY
Berkovits, E. (1975) Judaism in the Post-Christian Era. in Talmage, F.E. (Ed.), Disputation and Dialogue: Readings in the Jewish Christian Encounter. Ktav, New York.
Gill, J. (1746-63) Exposition of the Entire Bible.
Psalm 137:9: ‘Happy shall he be that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones. That takes the infants from their mothers breasts, or out of their arms, and dashes out their brains against a rock, as the word (k) signifies; which, though it may seem a piece of cruelty, was but a just retaliation; the Babylonians having done the same to the Jewish children, and is foretold elsewhere should be done to theirs, Isaiah 13:16. Nor is this desired from a spirit of revenge, but for the glory of divine justice, and that such a generation of cruel creatures might be rooted out of the earth; see Revelation 2:2. Some allegorically understand this of crushing and mortifying the first motions of sin in the heart; but such a sense seems to have no place here.
(k) ad petram, V. L. Pagninus, Montanus, &c. ad repem, Cocceius.’
Hobson, T. (2017) God Created Humanism: The Christian basis of secular values. Society for Promoting Christian Knowledge, London.
Paine, T. (1794-1807) The Age of Reason
Jewish biblical passages:
Vayikra 21
https://www.chabad.org/library/bible_cdo/aid/9922
Vayikra 24
https://www.chabad.org/library/bible_cdo/aid/9925
Vayikra 25
https://www.chabad.org/library/bible_cdo/aid/9926
Bamidbar 31
https://www.chabad.org/library/bible_cdo/aid/9959
music © theramintrees:
Excerpt from Beethovens seventh symphony, second movement.
Full original music tracks used in videos are available to patreon supporters who pledge at the $1 per video level.")
![resisting emotional blackmail | when compassion corrupts [cc]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/PEexQAkhFpM/hqdefault.jpg "resisting emotional blackmail | when compassion corrupts [cc]
An exploration of some mechanics behind emotional blackmail — and in invitation to all parties to step out of it.
You can support the channel at: https://www.patreon.com/TheraminTrees
opening quote:
We’re each entitled to stay inside our comfort zones.
We’re not entitled to expect the rest of the world to join us.
0:00 uncomfortable effects of comfort
3:21 emotion — a double-edged sword
7:54 comfort zones
10:12 oiling the squeaky wheel
13:48 compassion vs enabling
17:32 coping with other peoples coping mechanisms
23:28 rationalisation
29:00 rational mindful solutions
29:57 summary
subtitles
Bulgarian: Djeitko
references
Abbott, K.R. and Sherratt, T.N. (2011) The evolution of superstition through optimal use of incomplete information. Animal behaviour 82 pp.85-92
Damasio, A. (1994) Descartes error: emotion, reason, and the human brain. Putnam, New York
Kay, A.C., Gaucher, D., Napier, J.L., Callan, M.J. and Kaurin, K. (2008) God and the government: testing a compensatory control mechanism for the support of external systems. Journal of personality and social psychology 95 (1) pp.18-35
Kool, W., McGuire, J.T., Rosen, Z.B. and Botvinick, M.M. (2010) Decision making and the avoidance of cognitive demand. Journal of experimental psychology: general 139 (4), pp.665-682
Lindeman, M. and Aarnio, K. (2007) Superstitious, magical, and paranormal beliefs: an integrative model. Journal of research in personality 41 pp.731-744
Malinowski, B. (1948) Magic, science, and religion and other essays. Beacon Press, Boston
Zajonc, R.B. (1980) Feeling and thinking: preferences need no inferences. American psychologist 35 pp.151-175
music © TheraminTrees
Full original music tracks used in videos are available to patreon supporters who pledge at the $1 per video level.")
![creating sickness | recovering from religion [cc]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/QRbnws-zITg/hqdefault.jpg "creating sickness | recovering from religion [cc]
This video is dedicated to those recovering from religion.
You can support the channel at: https://www.patreon.com/TheraminTrees
For those affected, try this site: https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org
opening quote:
Oh wearisome Condition of Humanity! Born under one law, to another bound:
Vainly begot and yet forbidden vanity, Created sick, commanded to be sound:
What meaneth Nature by these diverse laws? Passion and reason, self-division cause.
Is it the mark, or Majesty of Power To make offences that it may forgive?
—Fulke Greville, from ‘Mustapha’
end quote:
When my eternal happiness is involved, have I not the right to examine God’s own conduct?
A despot to whom men are subjected but through fear, a master whom they can not interrogate, a totally inaccessible sovereign, can not merit the homage of intelligent beings.
—‘Superstition in All Ages’ (1732)
attributed to Jean Meslier and Baron d’Holbach
subtitles
Bulgarian: Djeitko
Slovak: Peter Ščigulinský
references
Asimov, I. (1942) Runaround. Street & Smith.
McDowell, J and McDowell, S (2013) The Bible Handbook of Difficult Verses. Harvest House Publishers.
Winterson, J. (1985) Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit. Pandora Press.
Todorov studies:
Engell, A.D., Haxby, J.V. and Todorov, A. (2007) Implicit trustworthiness decisions: Automatic coding of face properties in human amygdala. Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience 19, pp.1508-1519.
Todorov, A., Mandisodza, A.N., Goren, A. and Hall, C.C. (2005). Inferences of competence from faces predict election outcomes. Science 308, pp.1623-1626.
Willis, J. and Todorov, A. (2006) First impressions: making up your mind after a 100-ms exposure to a face. Psychological Science 17 (7), pp.592-598
music © TheraminTrees — excerpt from Schuberts piano trio in E flat, op. 100.
Full original music tracks used in videos are available to patreon supporters who pledge at the $1 per video level.")
