Uploaded May 2017 | Updated September 2026, 3 weeks ago

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I feel something's wrong with me. I have been spending way too much time on my computer. Trying to get motivation, inspiration, write fanfiction, playing games. I think that's the only thing I do on my free time. I don't really sketch, draw, hangout with my friends a lot. It's just me overthinking but, I just can't even get out of my computer. I mean, my grades are still fine but they aren't high. I feel like I need a hiatus. I feel like I need a break. But I can't do that. I have MEP parts due, I need to do everything. One more week until my hiatus. Where I need my parts done as soon as possible. I know what you are all thinking, "Huh?? 5 parts isn't a lot, you dummy!". However, it is so much especially when you don't have that kind of inspiration to edit. I play so much PC games with my friends, attempt to edit an MEP part, and do so much more than I expected of myself. I'm so stupid of taking so much MEP parts, I really am. My expectations of me are very high, especially in editing. I expect myself to be pro, but I end up noobish. I even gave up editing for a while because I wanted to play ROBLOX! I could never improve at this state. I could never learn anything to be as great as my fellow editors. I never really believed I could do hiatuses because I need my MEP parts to be done. I wait until the last minute all the time. I mean, what kind of editor am I? I need inspiration, but I also need to keep up with my grades. I want everyone to understand but me? Talking about grades? Who the heck even cares about grades? The thing is, if I don't get my grades high, I will get punished. My life is just people telling me which job I'm going to apply for, what kind of grades I'm supposed to have, and just trying to do what my parents expect me to do. On the other hand, my other family members are just having a great time and I'm just an average, boring girl who worries about such little things.