Uploaded December 2012 | Updated September 2026, 4 hours ago

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Remember, people: do *not* feed the trolls. Unless they are about to eat you, in which situation it is just about acceptable to offer them the rest of your Kit Kat. While he stares in wonderment at the vivid red wrapper, thick dollops of saliva dripping from his grog-blossomed chin, one can make good one's exit. That is, if you know the correct command(s).

Sadly, with these simplistic text adventure games, it is more a case of finding out what you have to do than having fun exploring what you aren't supposed to. As a result, you could very easily get stuck for days, perhaps weeks, until someone tells you you have to combine the hammer and the candle to create a bandage to fix your sword. Only *then* does it all become obvious. But then you realise you're stuck on the next part and promptly give up once more. :P

That sad part is, I haven't even got far enough into the game for the troll to kill me! Nothing I do or say affects him in any way, as if he is waiting patiently for the trigger word or action like a spy from one of Ian Fleming's Bond novels. I know it is possible to die, for I have seen the game's code thanks to that handy LIST command. I am too much of a BASIC noob, however, to decipher the correct solution from it. Boo!