You Suck At CookingThese are the best pancakes you have ever had provided that all of the pancakes you’ve had previously are not as good as these pancakes. For 50% off with HelloFresh PLUS free shipping on your first box, use code YOUSUCK50 at bit.ly/3Zci9vZ
Perfect Fluffy PancakesYou Suck At Cooking2023-04-14 | These are the best pancakes you have ever had provided that all of the pancakes you’ve had previously are not as good as these pancakes. For 50% off with HelloFresh PLUS free shipping on your first box, use code YOUSUCK50 at bit.ly/3Zci9vZ
youtu.be/TTHJBKHpSZQ?t=143Baked Feta Spaghetti Squash - You Suck at Cooking (episode 162)You Suck At Cooking2023-10-29 | Spaghetti squash contains up to 5 pounds of authentic spaghetti. Feta cheese contains up to 16 pounds of authentic feta cheese.
Find a deciduous spaghetti squash hibernating in a pine nest on the forest floor 17 days before the first frost
Be careful cutting it upon. Keep those digits out of the way of your cutting implement and be patient...it's actually difficult
Flavor glitter...pepper pepper pepper...olive oil
Stuff it with a dumb amount of feta
Cover with a stupid amount of garlic
Add reasonably smart tomato domes
More salt and olive oil if you feel like it
Bake on 400 for an hour
Spangjangle until it's creamy
Wash it down with a fresh bowl of squash guts cerealDo not throw out banana peels! #banana #health #plantsYou Suck At Cooking2023-10-12 | ...Crispy Hashbrowns - You Suck at Cooking (episode 161)You Suck At Cooking2023-10-07 | Hashbrowns. Also known as fried potato shreds. Also known as 2D potatoes. Also known as even greasier potato chips. Also known as hashbrowns.
Basically hot oil can get out of control so you need to monitor your temperature and not let it get too hot. Electric stoves are deceptive in that they can get the oil very hot even at a lower settings, there's just a longer delay.
RECIPE
Capture potatoes Apologize to potatoes Remove outer thermal membrane Disintegrate potatoes Rinse potato smithereens or soak them if you want them less starchy Wrap them in some cheesecloth or a clean dish towel and squeeze the hell out of them (but mainly the water and leave some of the hell) Cook them in a non stick pan with a tablespoon of oil for around ten minutes so they won't be medium rare Let them cool off a bit Put them in a bowl For each potato add 1 teaspoon corn starch 1 teaspoon garlic powder 1 teaspoon onion powder some pepper pepper pepper Wangjangle Form into patties or triangles but NO OTHER SHAPES Heat your oil in a cast iron skillet but not so hot that you burn your house down Most recipes recommend around 350 degrees Fahrenheit but as long as you get a sizzle going when you put them in it's hot enough Fry until the first size is golden brown. Somewhere between 4-8 minutes Fry the other side until golden brown which is gonna happen faster, probably 5 minutes max Lay them down on a paper towel and tell them they did a good job Let them cool or spray a heat resistant gel inside your mouth and eat immediately9 Ways to Slice a PineappleYou Suck At Cooking2023-09-06 | There are many ways to cut a pineapple, but only 9 of these are officially supported by the Pineapple Slicers Association of The World. None of those methods are depicted here.
Okay there's too much information about beef and burgers to put in a video without boring everyone so for those of you who are more curious, here's what you need to know about cooking a burger medium or medium rare. When you go to a restaurant and get a nice medium burger it's because the restaurant is grinding its own beef (likely) so they are 100% sure it's not contaminated. When you buy ground meat from a grocery store you have zero idea how long it's been sitting around, and you also don't know what's in it. And you definitely don't know if bacteria has started forming which is why you must cook it to 160 degrees F.
Now if you grind your own meat and the cut you got is fresh you don't have this issue. But if you go to a butcher you can talk to them and then can tell you how recently it was ground and whether or not it is safe to cook less than 160 degrees. Is there still some risk? Sure. But your local butcher is going to have wayyyy better, fresher ground beef than the grocery store and they should be happy to tell you about it. You also definitely want at least 20% fat in your beef if you want your burger juicy.
Now I'm not telling you to cook your burger medium. But if you're someone who's gonna do that, definitely do not do that with grocery store ground beef. Go talk to your local butcher.
Oh whoops I forgot to insert a bunch of jokes in the description help something must be wrong with me.
Make that sandwichFrench Tacos - You Suck at Cooking (episode 157)You Suck At Cooking2023-06-19 | French tacos are a food made in the country of France. The look nothing like tacos and taste nothing like tacos but they are called tacos.
Recipe: Put together some things in a flour tortilla and call it tacos.
Okay but for real, there is a method to this flat burrito madness.
You have some kind of protein: chicken, crispy chicken, beef, pork. In addition to the onions and garlic I put in some smoked paprika and cumin into the beef along with salt and pepper. Salt is absolutely essential, and I highly recommend adding other spices.
There are a variety of veggies you can put in including tomatoes, fried onions, mystery green peppers, cabbage.
Sauces are key...in addition to some kind of cheese sauce (usually), spicy mayo or Algerian sauce is very popular. Then often some more shredded cheese to melt.
And French fries.
Then you get a gigantic flour tortilla and wrap it up and grill it.
I'm not sure if there's a specific order to all of this. But I do know that you make it first, and then you eat it.9 Cheese Fries Supreme #frenchfries #foodYou Suck At Cooking2023-06-02 | ...Easy pancake art #pancakesYou Suck At Cooking2023-05-16 | ...12 Ways to Peel a PotatoYou Suck At Cooking2023-05-02 | Peeling potatoes is very easy. There is no need to figure out other ways to peel a potato. In fact there is no need to peel them at all.
Cut the sprouts in a half or quarters Olive oil salt and pepper pepper pepper in the graviton Roast on 400 or so for some minutes until they brown a bit Steam balsamic vinegar on lowish until it reduces by half then let cool Sprinkle that on the sprouts Also some hot sauce Maybe some parmesan cheese
For the bacon ones chop up some garlic and bacon and mix that with the halved or quartered sprouts in a bowl with some salt and pepper pepper pepper then roast at 450 until you feel like they are done. Then eat them. Or give them to a stranger.Home Made CroissantsYou Suck At Cooking2023-02-24 | CroissantsSuper Crispy Chicken Sandwich - You Suck at Cooking (episode 153)You Suck At Cooking2023-02-09 | Crispy fried chicken sandwiches are so good because they are crispy and fried and made of chicken. For 65% off with HelloFresh PLUS free shipping, use code YOUSUCK65 at bit.ly/3WvxmHc
So... I started using chicken thighs but switched to breasts to make it thicker You can pound or slice the breasts do your desired thickness This recipe is good for around 4 burgers, or two breasts divided/pounded and cut, or 4 thighs probably
THE BRINE 1 cup buttermilk 2 teaspoons salt You can add spices but I'm pretty convinced they're not gonna soak in Wangjangle that salt until dissolved then put your chicken in the brine for at least a couple but ideally 6 hours in the fridge in an above ground pool or IV bag
Oh by the way that's the chicken I mentioned above that you're putting in
THE SLAW
Shred or chop some cabbage and carrots. Like a cup of each On part mayo, one part sour cream, one part red wine vinegar or another one for the dressing Some pepper pepper pepper. Did I even put that in the video? I think I just remembered that I forgot.
THE DREDGE 1.5 cups flour 2 tablespoons of corn starch 2 teaspoons baking powder 2 tablespoons garlic powder A whole bunch of chipotle powder or a non dangerous amount of cayenne or literally whatever else you want to flavor it with
Once the chicken has had it's bath, drop some drops off the chicken into the dredge to create little powdery globules to add more texture to the chicken, then mash the chicken in there, cover it up, flip it around or whatever
Heat your oil to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. If you don't have a fryer, or an oil/candy thermometer, order takeout. Never let your oil temperature get out of control because it will light on fire and you will panic How to dep fry safely: bbcgoodfood.com/howto/guide/how-deep-fry-safely
Fry for a few minutes until your chicken is cooked. You can go until 165 degrees but if the chicken gets up to 155 degrees and stays there at least a minute it's also safe
Then assemble the sandwich by putting the separate parts together until it appears to be a singular object.DIY Salad Mixing MachineYou Suck At Cooking2023-01-27 | Mixing your own salad has never been easier.French Onion Soup - You Suck at Cooking (episode 152)You Suck At Cooking2023-01-12 | French onion soup is a soup featuring cheese, onions, bread, beef broth and soup. It is a good soup to eat and also a good soup to drink.
I used this recipe with slight variations on most ingredients, no flour.
marthastewart.com/1052976/french-onion-soupNo Bake Nougat - You Suck at Cooking (episode 151)You Suck At Cooking2022-12-22 | Nougat is delicious dessert type candy stick people like to make for the holidays but it's also so sticky you might regret ever learning the recipe. But when you learn how to control the nougat, then you're one step closer to finding out who you really are.
Go to the store and buy a chocolate bar instead. But if you insist
Froth up an egg white
1 cup sugar ⅓ cup honey 1.5 tablespoons water
Heat it up to some extent Be very careful Combine the egg white and sugar lava
Be careful not to glue your whole body together
Add in an amount of nuts bigger than Tony Robbins giant head
Or add in anything else. I was gonna add in a bunch of chocolate bars that contained nougat to create nougatception but I lost motivation.
Put it in some kind of mold.
Put it in some kind of fridge.
Put it in some kind of mouth.Crispy French Fries with Cheese Sauce - You Suck at Cooking (episode 150)You Suck At Cooking2022-12-02 | Crispy French fries with cheese sauce taste better than soggy French fries with nothing For 70% off with HelloFresh plus FREE shipping, use code YOUSUCK70 at bit.ly/3gMBkMr
I can write out how I did it which is slightly different at some point tomorrow or the next day if you remind me.
As for the cheese sauce okay real quick...
1 tablespoon butter heated up medium low Wangjangle in 1 tablespoon of flour until you have your roux (pronounced rouwks) Slowly whiskjangle in a cup of milk as it clumps and you freak out then it turns smooth and you feel better Take it off the heat and add in a cup of dismantled cheddar add in a bit of garlic powder and some freeze dried chives If you feel like it but you don't have to
It will thicken as it cools so don't cook it down too much. Just the perfect amountPeanut Noodles - You Suck at Cooking (episode 149)You Suck At Cooking2022-11-09 | Peanut noodles are a dish that's made with both noodles and peanut butter. As well as several other ingredients which also end up on the noodles and then end up inside your mouth. if you're doing it right.
2 Tablespoons peanut butter (lets be real I used 3) 1 Teaspoon soy sauce ½ Tablespoon rice vinegar ½ teaspoon sesame oil (let's be real I used a full teaspoon like a badass) ½ teaspoon sugar (I made it once without the sugar and it was still good) 1 teaspoon of chili oil (let's be real that's exactly how much I used) 2 cloves or garlic chopped finely Wangjangle all of those things together Add 2 or 3 tablespoons of hot water which you can add now or later. I added it just after the noodles finished cooking so that the sauce would be hotter going in
Boil 200 grams/7 ounces noodles. I used a bit less because I like my noodles drowning in sauce. That's also the reason I used more of all the other ingredients.
Then combinate those things and then also eat them.Crispy Smashed Potatoes - You Suck at Cooking (episode 148)You Suck At Cooking2022-10-21 | Smashed potatoes taste slightly better that caressed potatoes, but not as quite good as kicked potatoes or French fries, except when they do.
Boil until fork tender Place on baking sheet with some oil Smash Make magical elixir which consists of The correct amount of olive venom 1 teaspoon garlic powder 1 teaspoon onion powder 1 teaspoon of something red like smoked paprika or chipotle powder Some salt Some pepper pepper pepper Smash potatoes Drizzle the magical elixir into the potatoes cracks Back at 450 for 40 minutes Eat the potatoes3 Ingredient Low Carb BreadYou Suck At Cooking2022-10-06 | ...Smash Burgers - You Suck at Cooking (episode 147)You Suck At Cooking2022-09-16 | Smash burgers are a hamburger, or cheeseburger that has been through some stuff. For 16 free meals with HelloFresh across 7 boxes AND 3 free gifts, use code YOUSUCK16 at bit.ly/3ssA2tZ
Okay this one doesn't need the recipe written out right guys? Right? If it does I'll get to it today. Sometime. Possibly.Corn Ribs - You Suck at Cooking (episode 146)You Suck At Cooking2022-09-03 | Corn on the cob is one of the basic elements required to make corn ribs. The other is tenacity. And barbecue sauce.
Do I really need to write out the corn ribs recipe?Chocolate Ice Cream Bars - You Suck at Cooking (episode 145)You Suck At Cooking2022-08-04 | Chocolate covered ice cream bars are similar to gold bars, except they are made of different materials. The materials are ice cream and chocolate, as opposed to gold.
Like most ice cream bar recipes, we're taking two well known recipes and combinating them: no churn ice cream, and home made magic shell, both of which have been around since the dawn of time.
The Ice Cream 2 cups of heavy cream or whipping cream Whip it or don't whip it 1 can of sweetened condensed milk (small can, 300-400ml/14oz) 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
Combine those things together. A lot of recipes say you should mix the vanilla with the condensed milk first but I'm skeptical that it makes a difference. Even more skeptical as I am of Sasquatch because I'm not skeptical of Sasquatch at all because they're real.
So pour your non-iced cream into ice cream moulds and freeze them overnight. Don't dick around and try to freeze them for just a few hours. You need the ice cream to be mega cold for this to work.
Magic Shell
Melt two bags of chocolate chips or another kind of chocolate Add 1 or 2 tablespoon of coconut oil but don't over do it
Melt that stuff in a double boiler then wait for it to cool all the way down
I'm gonna be honest with you...even as I thought I got the hang of this I was still messing it up when I was trying to make more. The weird thing was the first couple came out fine then the one after that slipped off. WHY? I don't know. But one thing I know is you gotta refreeze those bars after you take them out if there is any meltitude on the outside. If you have molds that let you pull them out without them melting, then congratulations.
But yeah, if you figure out which chocolate works best lemme know.
Anyway, cold ice cream, not hot chocolate, give it a dip, let a lot of the chocolate drip off, then hold it in the hair until it sets before you lay it back in a container for freezing.
I could have gotten into all these details in the video but, you know, I got distracted.
Emma explains it better and I got the no-whipping tip from her:
youtube.com/watch?v=Es1XDaX0n3g10 More Ways to Chop on OnionYou Suck At Cooking2022-07-28 | Little blast from the past. Original video here: youtu.be/TXrRpsvnwYQHome Made Crispy Chicken Nuggets (episode 144)You Suck At Cooking2022-07-08 | Chicken nuggets. They're not only delicious, they also taste good. Use code YOUSUCK16 for up to 16 FREE MEALS + 3 Surprise Gifts across 6 HelloFresh boxes plus free shipping at bit.ly/3ssA2tZ
If you want to do some stovetop pan frying, check out this safety stuff. Most importantly: high temperature oil, and make sure it doesn't get too hot (I keep it below 350...a lot of recipes say you need it at 375 but that's hogwash.) Honestly just bake them or go to a restaurant.
1 pound of ground chicken a few pieces of ground bread 1 tablespoon of garlic powder 1 or two teaspoons of cumin 1 or two teaspoons of mustard powder literally any spices you want 1 teaspoon of salt some pepper pepper pepper mash it all together and flex your wrists oil up your hands and do some Turkish wrestling or shape the nuggets or flatten them out and cut them scramble an egg and dip them then dip them in panko and pat them on the back heat a small amount of oil to around 300 degrees (for gods sake monitor your oil temperature) and USE TONGS to put the nuggets in. Also use them to take the oil out Grip firmly. Dropping anything into hot oil is very bad news Flip them after a coupe minutes make sure they get to at least 165 degrees F If you don't own a food thermometer this is your sign to buy one today They are inexpensive and it will change your relationship with cooking because you'll know for sure when something is cooked and you won't have to overcook it You're welcome, thank me in the comments.
Also have a terrific day. But also don't let me tell you what to do.10 Ways to Peel an Orange - You Suck at Cooking (episode 143)You Suck At Cooking2022-06-16 | Peeling an orange isn't easy. Unless you're strong and good at peeling oranges. Then it's easy. Otherwise it's difficult. Unless you know other techniques. Then it's easy. Unless you're bad at those techniques. Then it's hard. Unless you have a good friend who is good at peeling oranges. Then it's easy. Unless that friend never existed and you just made them up to cope with reality. Then it's hard. You just never know.
RECIPE 1 egg plus 1 egg yolk ¼ cup sugar Beat with motorized blendicles for a few minutes until it all gets bigger and fluffier and paler and creamier
Add half a stick of butter to a double boiler Add 3.5oz/100g chocolate of some sort Melt that stuff and wangjangle until smooth and watery Always handle with volcano gloves
Slowly pour the buttery chocolate into the sweet eggs and blendicize until it all looks like chocolate. But it's not just chocolate. It's also the other things. Add in two teaspoons of wheat dust and wangjangle thoroughly
Go back in time and butter and flour your ramekins. Tap out the excess flour but not during a wrestling match, at least not one where there's a lot of money on the line.
Spoon the chocolate sauce into the ramekins
Go back in time again and preheat the undoh to 425undo
Put the ramekins on a baking sheet then slide them in the oven for ten minutes. Make sure to close the oven door after you slide them in, otherwise the oven won't be as hot.
Take the lava cakes out of the oven and let them cool for a minute then flip onto a plate. Once again, use volcano gloves.
Slide the ramekin off and then enjoy that cake. Don't wait or the lava will harden. But blow on it because it's hot. Always exercise caution around geology.Corn Dogs - You Suck at Cooking (episode 141)You Suck At Cooking2022-05-06 | Use code YOUSUCK16 for up to 16 FREE MEALS + 3 Surprise Gifts across 6 HelloFresh boxes plus free shipping at bit.ly/3ssA2tZ ! Corn dogs don't necessarily have corn in them, and these Korean style corn dogs certainly do not. But they are shaped like corn cobs and they taste better than corn, so there's no reason to be upset.
The reason home fryers are safer than doing it on the stovetop is because they limit the heat of your oil so it won’t catch fire. It’s easy to let it get too hot which is very bad news.
Batter 1 ¼ cups flour 2 tablespoon sugar ½ teaspoon salt 1.3 teaspoon yeast 1 egg 100 ml warm water
Wangjangle until your wrist is furious (I did it for a few minutes tops) Let it sit for half an hour Dry off anything you’re rolling in it
Peg your dogs Roll ‘em Roll them in artisan Italian bread crumbs (okay seriously this is a flavor game changer and I can’t recommend them enough. Kortalian food just has such depth. Fry for 3 minutes Cool for a few minutes I think anything else is pretty straight forward If you do the potato dog you can roll them in the bread crumbs after the potatoes
The nice thing about super thick doughy batter is you don’t have to rush to get the dogs in the oil because they mostly keep their shape, unlike with other battery batters that are act like liquids because they are oneOvernight Oats - You Suck at Cooking (episode 140)You Suck At Cooking2022-04-16 | Overnight oats are oats that are cooked overnight. Instead of using heat to cook them, they are cooked with calm healing refrigerator energy.
½ cup rolled oats ½ cup milk of choice 1 tablespoon chia seeds something sweet (1 - 26 teaspoons) vanilla extract if you feel like it
Then other stuffCarrot SpeciesYou Suck At Cooking2022-04-07 | ...M1 Max MacBook Pro: The Actual TruthYou Suck At Cooking2022-04-01 | Is the M1 Max MacBook Pro the slowest computer ever made, or the fastest object ever conceived? Find out as I walk through 4 important benchmarks to get to the bottom of it.
If you're looking for a great recipe to make carrot cake, and you have the confidence to put the ingredients together and then do the rest of the steps until that carrot cake is ready, then you just might end up making a carrot cake.
Recipe Put the things in the bowl and then the pan and then the oven and then bake them or remind me to write this out and I'll write it out okay thanks
Actual Recipe
Dry Ingredients 1 3/4 cups flour 1 1/2 tsp baking powder 1 tsp baking soda 1/2 tsp cinnamon Put them all in a bowl and wangjangle
Wet Ingredients in another bowl Scramble 4 eggs 1 cup vegetable oil (add to the eggs next) 1 cup sugar (add to the oily eggs next) 1 tsp vanilla extract (add whenever tf you want) 2 cups finely shredded carrots (add to the wet stuff once it's all combined
Get your pan ready Cut a parchment paper circle to put in the bottom of your pan. If you don't have a circular pan you can use whatever pan you have. Spray pesticide on the edges to prevent a bug infestation or you can use some form of grease, like butter
Combine wet and dry ingredients but don't over wangjangle, once it just comes together you're good.
Pour that gloop into your pan
Oh go back in time and preheat your undoh to 350
Bake the cake for 45 minutes and check it. Some recipes call for up to 90 minutes which just sounds crazy to me. But just cook it until a toothpick comes out without any cake guts sticking to it
Let it cool for ten to fifteen minutes before removing from the pan to cool completely
Frosting ½ brick 4oz 125ml softened cream cheese 1 cup icing sugar 1 tsp vanilla extract pinch salt
Electric wangjangle the cream cheese and slowly add the ice sugar, vanilla and salt until it's frosting.
Once the cake is cool you can put it on your record player and then spiralize outward until it looks professional and cool. If you're not committed to professionalism you can just do it right on your counter top.Not Spaghetti Carbonara - You Suck at Cooking (episode 138)You Suck At Cooking2022-02-19 | I set out to really not make carbonara but I ended up accidentally mostly making carbonara. Everyone makes mistakes.
It's late and I'm tired so remind me and I'll write out the recipe complete with very approximate amounts of things that go in it
Okay thanks for the reminders:
Recipe:
A few pieces of bacon chopped up into pieces that are smaller than the whole strip Cook the bacon in your pan on medium until it's getting close to crispy but not quiet Take some egg yolks...for two people maybe three? Or one whole egg if you're feeling risky? Grate pecorino (or parmesan if you like) into the yolks and beat until you get Cadbury cream egg filling. Or go buck wild until you have putty Cook 156 pieces of spaghetti until it's el dente inside a bucket of salted water Or you can put your finger and index together and use that much spaghetti for two people, if your'e using my hand to measure Take your bacon off the heat until it's not sizzling and a bit longer. Add a bit of pasta water to the egg and cheese mixture until it's a nice smooth sauce Take your spaghetti straight from the bucket into the bacon pan and Wangjangle Add in the sauce and keep Wangjangling, then add some spaghetti water with your pan on low and continue Wangjangling until it's creamy but thickens Hide somewhere and break one piece of spaghetti in half to feel like a badass Once the sauce is how you like it, eat it immediately. It's not really a dish to store and eat later so start eating and don't stop until it's done.Chicken Noodle Soup - You Suck at Cooking (episode 137)You Suck At Cooking2022-01-22 | Use code YOUSUCK16 for up to 16 FREE MEALS + 3 Surprise Gifts across 6 HelloFresh boxes plus free shipping at bit.ly/3ssA2tZ ! http://instagram.com/yousuckatcooking twitter.com/yousuckatcookin Subscribe: http://bit.ly/1HuynlY Award Winning Website http://yousuckatcooking.com
00:00 How to make Chicken Noodle Soup 01:10 Celery Cereal 01:39 Easy Soup Broth 02:30 How to send noods 02:52 Chicken Noodle Soup 03:08 Complicated Chicken Noodle Soup
Suggested Amounts of Things Inside The Soup: aka ingredients
6 cups broth an onion a few carrots some celery 3 cloves or garlic ish 1 or two chicken breasts 1 cup noods pepper pepper pepper and salt to taste if necessary also if not necessary but preferred any other additional flavors for example, you could put turmeric in with the onions if you want to make chicken noodle super foodle soup I've also tried a bit of yellow curry powder which was good...just a little. I bet cumin would be good. I bet that because I really like cumin if it's too chunky you can always add more broth, or strain out all the ingredients and make them into a casserole62 Quick Food Tricks - You Suck at CookingYou Suck At Cooking2022-01-01 | These food tricks will not only make you a better cook, they'll make you a better person.
Eggs Salt Pepper Ingredients that taste good Spray Pour Cook (350 F) Eat6 Ways to Peel a Pomegranate - You Suck at Cooking (episode 135)You Suck At Cooking2021-11-27 | Removing seeds from a pomegranate can be done in 6 different ways. But not 7. 7 is too many ways.
Recipe 1 pomegranateHow to Make Pan Pizza (episode-134)You Suck At Cooking2021-11-09 | Upgrade your kitchen with Misen’s amazing cookware and knives! Go to bit.ly/3to0cMK and use promo code YSAC to get 20% off your first order!
2 cups flour 1.5 teaspoons sea salt (you can use other salt) 1 teaspoon instant yeast 1 teaspoon garlic powder (optional) ¾ cup warm water 2-3 teaspoons olive oil
Shredded cheese, sauce, toppings, underlings
Sift the dry stuff in a bowl and then add the wet stuff Hangjangle it until you have some nice baking cement If you can't form the dough into a floppy clump you might want to add more flour
On a floured surface, place the dough and kneed it for ten minutes Add flour to the surface and your hands and the dough as you go so it gets just unsticky enough to handle but don't overdo it
Grease up another bowl with olive oil then throw your bag of goo in there, wrap it tightly with surround wrap, and wait 2 to 3 hours. You can also cover with a damp cloth, you're just keeping it from drying out. You can also just hot box a small room with a humidifier for all I care.
Cut your dough in half unless you want to make a thick crusted pizza in a 12 inch pan or a bigger one on a cookie sheet Grease up your pan and spread out the dough with your fingers. Spread further than you want to compensate for contractions. If the contractions get too intense immediately give your dough a pregnancy test
Put your pan on medium low and when the dough starts to bubble a bit add the sauce, cheese, and toppings. Congratulations, you're at the point of no return.
Undoh's on 425 (fourtwentyfundoh). Throw the pizza in for 10-14 minutes. Don't literally throw it as that will create a mess. Keep an eye on it. After you take it out you can cook the bottom more if you don't think it's done enough.
After you've taken it out REMIND YOURSELF NOT TO GRAB THE HANDLE OF YOUR PAN. It seems obvious but it's so easy to forget. Either turn the handle toward the back of your stovetop or put your glove on it as a reminder. Burnt hands do not feel good.
AND NOW WAIT!! Here's the thing. When you order pizza delivery it's been cooling down in the box for a while. The pizza coming out of the onion is super fucking hot. Don't eat it right away. Practice some restraint for once in your life. Leave it for a good ten minutes to avoid burning the roof of your mouth. Clean the kitchen or something. Just don't eat that pizza or you will be in a world of pain. I know from experience because I'm a dumbass.Types of MacaroniYou Suck At Cooking2021-10-22 | ...Creamy Macaroni and Cheese - You Suck at Cooking (episode 133)You Suck At Cooking2021-09-30 | Use code YOUSUCK14 to get up to 14 FREE MEALS across your first 5 HelloFresh boxes, plus free shipping at bit.ly/3ikb3Dt
My favorite part of macaroni and cheese is the macaroni and also the cheese.
00:00 Homemade Macaroni and Cheese 00:39 Cheese Sauce 02:29 How to capture a wild scallion
RECIPE
2 cups macaroni, boil it in pre salted ocean water (or post salted tap water no you can’t actually use ocean water) according to the instructions minus a minute probably.
2 tablespoons butter melted in sauce pan on low 2 tablespoons flour tappety tapped into the pan while whangjangling until smoothly combined and cooked for a couple minutes 1.5 cups milk slowly added and it will clump then eventually smooth and I hope you haven't stopped whiskjangling ½ teaspoon of salt pepper pepper pepper 1 teaspoon dijon or mustard powder ¾ teaspoon of garlic powder ¾ teaspoon of chili powder Or just go buck wild and add more as the amount I've added doesn't really do justice to the STELHOOI method Keep whangjangling that until it thickens 1 to 2 cups of shredded sharp or old cheddar, depending on how much of a maniac you are, whangjangle that in and kill the heat... Then use your syringe to inject each noodle with cheese sauce and feel proudSeared Steak with Pan Sauce - You Suck at Cooking (episode 132)You Suck At Cooking2021-09-09 | Upgrade your kitchen with Misen’s amazing cookware and knives! Go to bit.ly/3E1BVks and use promo code YSAC to get 20% off your first order! Seared steak is something you might want to try if you like steak and you enjoy burning things.
00:00 Intro 01:31 How to Sear a Steak 03:05 Steak Temperature Guide 03:30 Resting Steak 03:47 Steak Pan Sauce 04:23 Misen Stainless Steel Pan
Streak Recipe: Cook the steak the way I mentioned.
Also, check out these links, which some of this info was derived from. The Food Lab is an excellent resource for information that's actually tested. And the steak myths link is also great.
If you still want me to write out everything from the video I will. Just remind me please.Water Aged HamYou Suck At Cooking2021-08-18 | ...Historical Sandwich MomentYou Suck At Cooking2021-08-12 | ...Croque Monsieur - You Suck at Cooking (episode 131)You Suck At Cooking2021-08-10 | Use code YOUSUCK14 to get up to 14 FREE MEALS across your first 5 HelloFresh boxes, plus free shipping at bit.ly/3ikb3Dt
The Croque Monsieur (not to be confused with the Croak Monsieur, the Croquet Monsieur, the Crockpot Monsieur, or the Crackpot Monsieur) is a sandwich that tastes good.
It's in the video. But if you really think I should write it out, give me three reasons why in the comments and I will probably write it out even if you don't.
RECIPE UPDATE
Okay here we go. Get some bread. White bread, green brad, artisan bread, crackers, I don't care.
Now make some béchamel sauce. 1.5 tablespoons of butter on low heat in a sauce pan 1.5 tablespoons of flour whiskjangled slowly into the same pan until it's smooth and bubbly for a couple minutes Slowly add a cup of milk and go through the 5 Stages of Béchamel Hell. I hear if you warm the milk up it works better but who has time for that? Not you. You're already warming the milk up anyway Add some salt, pepper, and nutmeg...don't go buck wild with the nutmeg or you'll get all nutted out Cook it until it's a bit thick then take it off the heat SURPRISE you made way too much béchamel for one sandwich Bread béchamel Grated gruyere ham Grated gruyere béchamel on the bread ceiling Bread béchamel on the bread roof Grated gruyere
But like flip that list upside down if you want it to correspond to gravity. Also many recipes have one less layer of béchamel but we didn't come here to fuck around Put in in the undoh for a few minutes or just put it straight on broil for a couple minutes. Don't take your eye off it when it's on broil! If you go on your phone for even one second the sandwich will be burnt to a crispIce Cream - You Suck at Cooking (episode 130)You Suck At Cooking2021-07-16 | No churn ice cream (whether it's cookies and cream, or chocolate fudge) is easy and great to make. Unless you are in love with churning. If that's the case, you probably have muscular forearms and fantastic priorities.
0:00 2 ingredient ice cream 1:34 Home made ice cream 1:43 Cookies and Cream Ice Cream Recipe 2:12 Chocolate Fudge Ice Cream Recipe 2:30 Ginger Caramel Ice Cream Recipe 2:52 Weird Ice Cream Flavors 3:23 Ice Cream Cone Recipe
2 cups/500 ml whipping cream Whip that cream until you have anger management issues 1 can of sweetened condensed milk (I dunno the size, just a smallish can) Add in ⅔ teaspoons vanilla A pinch of salt Vroom vroom Wangjangle in some flavor
Flavor includes some cookies, a teaspoon of ginger dust and caramel, chocolate, cinnamon, mint leaves and chocolate chips, parsnip, morning dew, lettuce, steak spice, crackers, bangers, mash, seagulls, Doritos, grass, or gravy.DIY Cocktail ShakerYou Suck At Cooking2021-07-13 | ...Carrot Bacon - You Suck at Cooking (episode 129)You Suck At Cooking2021-06-18 | Carrot bacon. It’s just like real bacon, except more authentic. Check out Nicole Rossetti le Strange’s original carrot bacon recipe here yumsome.com/how-to-make-vegan-carrot-bacon And on Instagram: bit.ly/3gIcf1B
And check out Tabitha Browns viral Tiktok carrot bacon here bit.ly/3zzCL5L
If you want me to write out my version of the recipe just remind me in the comments because I’m gonna go to bed okay thanks bye.
But honestly just use one of the other recipes that started me on this Carrot Bacon journey. Or maybe I’ll write it out. I dunno we’ll see how tomorrow goes. You never know what’s gonna happen up in here.