Uploaded March 2024 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
In resolving hundreds of kidnap-for-ransom cases involving gang leaders, pirates, and extortionists, Scott Walker, a former Scotland Yard detective, has learned a thing or two about how to negotiate and communicate in a crisis. He shares how to apply those lessons to the difficult conversations we all have in our everyday lives in his book Order Out of Chaos: Win Every Negotiation, Thrive in Adversity, and Become a World-Class Communicator (amzn.to/4crxzoh) , and we talk about his tips on today's show.
Scott and I discuss what a "red center" means in a kidnap-for-ransom scenario and how to create one in your personal life, the "immediate action drill" that can help you stay in that red center, the importance of separating the decision-maker from the communicator in a negotiation and having a "battle rhythm," why you don't give hostage takers the money they ask for right away and how to structure a negotiation instead, and more.
Resources Related to the Podcast
• AoM Article: The 7 Habits — Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood (artofmanliness.com/character/habits/the-7-habits-seek-first-to-understand-then-to-be-understood/)
• AoM Podcast #648: Lessons in Building Rapport from Experts in Terrorist Interrogation (artofmanliness.com/people/social-skills/podcast-648-lessons-in-building-rapport-from-experts-in-terrorist-interrogation/)
• AoM Podcast #234: Haggling and Deal Making Advice From a FBI Hostage Negotiator (artofmanliness.com/career-wealth/wealth/podcast-234-haggling-and-deal-making-advice-from-a-fbi-hostage-negotiator/)
• Box breathing (youtube.com/watch?v=n6RbW2LtdFs)
• Physiological sigh (youtu.be/KxOSlR_Mf-s?si=FQ3DAgXMt7hWNPij&t=93)
Connect With Scott Walker
• Scott's website (scottwalkerbooks.co.uk/)
In resolving hundreds of kidnap-for-ransom cases involving gang leaders, pirates, and extortionists, Scott Walker, a former Scotland Yard detective, has learned a thing or two about how to negotiate and communicate in a crisis. He shares how to apply those lessons to the difficult conversations we all have in our everyday lives in his book Order Out of Chaos: Win Every Negotiation, Thrive in Adversity, and Become a World-Class Communicator (amzn.to/4crxzoh) , and we talk about his tips on today's show.
Scott and I discuss what a "red center" means in a kidnap-for-ransom scenario and how to create one in your personal life, the "immediate action drill" that can help you stay in that red center, the importance of separating the decision-maker from the communicator in a negotiation and having a "battle rhythm," why you don't give hostage takers the money they ask for right away and how to structure a negotiation instead, and more.
Resources Related to the Podcast
• AoM Article: The 7 Habits — Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood (artofmanliness.com/character/habits/the-7-habits-seek-first-to-understand-then-to-be-understood/)
• AoM Podcast #648: Lessons in Building Rapport from Experts in Terrorist Interrogation (artofmanliness.com/people/social-skills/podcast-648-lessons-in-building-rapport-from-experts-in-terrorist-interrogation/)
• AoM Podcast #234: Haggling and Deal Making Advice From a FBI Hostage Negotiator (artofmanliness.com/career-wealth/wealth/podcast-234-haggling-and-deal-making-advice-from-a-fbi-hostage-negotiator/)
• Box breathing (youtube.com/watch?v=n6RbW2LtdFs)
• Physiological sigh (youtu.be/KxOSlR_Mf-s?si=FQ3DAgXMt7hWNPij&t=93)
Connect With Scott Walker
• Scott's website (scottwalkerbooks.co.uk/)
