Uploaded December 2022 | Updated September 2026, 15 hours ago

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Look. Sometimes I just want to play a game. Let me load up a game and then play it. I've been getting a little frustrated today as I intentionally chose the most basic game I could think of, and it still overwhelmed me with tedium before letting me play it.
Here's the first Beyblade game for the Game Boy Color. I understand that entering your name isn't much, but it all adds up, especially when I can't immediately figure out why the letters I choose aren't responding. It's because there's already a default name filling up all the characters.
Then it gives me some statistics in a font I can't even read as an English speaker. Why am I confirming statistics? I haven't even played the game yet. Then it presents the same information in a different way and asks me if it's correct. Of course it is. Nothing has changed! Besides, I have nothing to compare it to, and I have no way of changing it!
Anyway, the game finally starts. This girl's annoying and talks too much.
This is where she punches me for saying that she talks too much. I'm not even kidding, translate the dialogue, and that's precisely what happened.
Now the game goes on auto-pilot to this very tiny cottage.
Inside is a stadium full of Beyblade tables. Behind it is another stadium full of Beyblade tables.
Can I play now? Of course not. First, I have to talk to this tin soldier who explains that some icons have electricity and fists.
Now for the girl's turn. "Check out my codec screen," she says. This other lady's codec is out of signal.
Now it's time to BEYBLADE. Just kidding! Check out this arena. Don't you want to play Beyblades on it? Well, you can't. It was just an explanation.
The guy at the entrance asked if I understood. Yes. Now let me play. Let's see, what should I choose...
I have a choice of... electricity, or options... there's nothing in options... so... hmmm... let's choose electricity.
Now I have to make a second choice. I think I will choose electricity. And then, for my third choice, electricity.
Here's the stats lineup: Electricity.
And now! The game finally starts!
Tap B a few times to make the meter go up. Watch the spinning tops. I win!
Oh, but wait, it's a best of three! Time to do it again!
That's it. That's the game.
A five-minute tutorial and cutscene on how to tap B a few times, and then hoping you win.
Please. Video games. Please just let me play things without the starting nonsense in the future! Please...