Uploaded January 2023 | Updated September 2026, 4 days ago
They say there's no such thing as a free lunch. When Sir James Drakmanton MP asks his wife to entertain some of his political supporters, she decides to demonstrate the truth behind this cliché... Another comic short by the Edwardian master satirist Saki. The story starts at 00:01:18
Narrated/performed by Simon Stanhope, aka Bitesized Audio. If you enjoy this content and would like to help me keep creating, there are a few ways you can support me:
* Occasional/one-off support via Buy Me a Coffee: buymeacoffee.com/bitesizedaudio
* Monthly support on Patreon: patreon.com/bitesizedaudio
* Visit my Bandcamp page to hear more of my performances of classic stories, and you can purchase and download high quality audio files to listen offline: bitesizedaudio.bandcamp.com
* Become a Bitesized Audio Classics member on YouTube, from $1 per month with various benefits:
youtube.com/c/BitesizedAudioClassics/join
Saki was the pen name of Hector Hugh Munro, one of the greatest masters of the short story form in English. He was born in 1870 in Burma, then part of British India, where his father was an Inspector General for the Imperial Police, but his life was affected by tragedy when he was just two years old: his mother Mary Munro was charged by a cow while visiting family back in England, and she died as a result of her injuries. Hector and his siblings were sent home to England, to live in Devon with his paternal grandmother and two maiden aunts. The aunts (Augusta and Charlotte) were apparently strict and austere and provided much material for future character studies in Saki's satires. After some 10 years or so, Hector eventually "escaped" to boarding school. In his early 20s he followed his father's footsteps and enrolled in the Indian Imperial Police, but was invalided home with fever after little over a year. Turning to writing to make his living, Munro began working as a journalist in the late 1890s. He wrote countless pieces for magazine and newspaper publication, and took up the pen name Saki around 1900. His always witty – and sometimes macabre – stories established his reputation as one of the greatest satirists of the Edwardian era.
Despite being officially over-age for military service, turning 44 at the end of 1914, he enlisted in World War I, turning down the offer of a commission and serving as an ordinary trooper in the 2nd King Edward’s Horse regiment. Tragically, he was killed by a sniper while sheltering in a shell hole during the Battle of the Ancre in November 1916. His last words were reported to be “Put that bloody cigarette out”. His resting place is unknown.
'The Phantom Luncheon' first appeared in print in the 'The Bystander' on 27th March 1912. It subsequently appeared in book form in 1919 as part of the posthumously-published collection 'The Toys of Peace and Other Papers'.
A textual footnote: Lady Drakmanton's reference to "free food principles" early in this story is a reference to the Free Food League, founded in 1903 by a group of mainly Conservative parliamentarians to campaign for free trade. One of the League's members was Winston Churchill, then a young backbench Conservative MP, although he (along with some other FFL members) defected to the Liberal Party in 1904. The League gradually declined in significance after the Liberal Party won the election in 1905 and was essentially defunct by 1910, two years before this story first appeared.
Recording © Bitesized Audio 2023
They say there's no such thing as a free lunch. When Sir James Drakmanton MP asks his wife to entertain some of his political supporters, she decides to demonstrate the truth behind this cliché... Another comic short by the Edwardian master satirist Saki. The story starts at 00:01:18
Narrated/performed by Simon Stanhope, aka Bitesized Audio. If you enjoy this content and would like to help me keep creating, there are a few ways you can support me:
* Occasional/one-off support via Buy Me a Coffee: buymeacoffee.com/bitesizedaudio
* Monthly support on Patreon: patreon.com/bitesizedaudio
* Visit my Bandcamp page to hear more of my performances of classic stories, and you can purchase and download high quality audio files to listen offline: bitesizedaudio.bandcamp.com
* Become a Bitesized Audio Classics member on YouTube, from $1 per month with various benefits:
youtube.com/c/BitesizedAudioClassics/join
Saki was the pen name of Hector Hugh Munro, one of the greatest masters of the short story form in English. He was born in 1870 in Burma, then part of British India, where his father was an Inspector General for the Imperial Police, but his life was affected by tragedy when he was just two years old: his mother Mary Munro was charged by a cow while visiting family back in England, and she died as a result of her injuries. Hector and his siblings were sent home to England, to live in Devon with his paternal grandmother and two maiden aunts. The aunts (Augusta and Charlotte) were apparently strict and austere and provided much material for future character studies in Saki's satires. After some 10 years or so, Hector eventually "escaped" to boarding school. In his early 20s he followed his father's footsteps and enrolled in the Indian Imperial Police, but was invalided home with fever after little over a year. Turning to writing to make his living, Munro began working as a journalist in the late 1890s. He wrote countless pieces for magazine and newspaper publication, and took up the pen name Saki around 1900. His always witty – and sometimes macabre – stories established his reputation as one of the greatest satirists of the Edwardian era.
Despite being officially over-age for military service, turning 44 at the end of 1914, he enlisted in World War I, turning down the offer of a commission and serving as an ordinary trooper in the 2nd King Edward’s Horse regiment. Tragically, he was killed by a sniper while sheltering in a shell hole during the Battle of the Ancre in November 1916. His last words were reported to be “Put that bloody cigarette out”. His resting place is unknown.
'The Phantom Luncheon' first appeared in print in the 'The Bystander' on 27th March 1912. It subsequently appeared in book form in 1919 as part of the posthumously-published collection 'The Toys of Peace and Other Papers'.
A textual footnote: Lady Drakmanton's reference to "free food principles" early in this story is a reference to the Free Food League, founded in 1903 by a group of mainly Conservative parliamentarians to campaign for free trade. One of the League's members was Winston Churchill, then a young backbench Conservative MP, although he (along with some other FFL members) defected to the Liberal Party in 1904. The League gradually declined in significance after the Liberal Party won the election in 1905 and was essentially defunct by 1910, two years before this story first appeared.
Recording © Bitesized Audio 2023
