Uploaded March 2026 | Updated September 2026, 3 weeks ago
When you miss someone who hurt you, it can feel incredibly confusing.
Part of you remembers the pain, the chaos, the way you felt like you were constantly trying to hold the relationship together. But another part of you remembers the moments that felt hopeful—the glimpses of who you thought they could become.
That’s often where the longing comes from.
Sometimes what we’re grieving isn’t the relationship we actually had. It’s the relationship we were trying to build. The one we believed was possible if things just got a little better, if they finally understood, if the good moments lasted.
But a relationship can’t grow on potential alone. It can’t survive on promises or brief flashes of kindness.
Real love lives in consistent reality—not in the hope that someone might someday become a different person.
Want to watch the rest of this episode of the Flying Free Podcast? Head over to youtu.be/sXOw3biIgqk
When you miss someone who hurt you, it can feel incredibly confusing.
Part of you remembers the pain, the chaos, the way you felt like you were constantly trying to hold the relationship together. But another part of you remembers the moments that felt hopeful—the glimpses of who you thought they could become.
That’s often where the longing comes from.
Sometimes what we’re grieving isn’t the relationship we actually had. It’s the relationship we were trying to build. The one we believed was possible if things just got a little better, if they finally understood, if the good moments lasted.
But a relationship can’t grow on potential alone. It can’t survive on promises or brief flashes of kindness.
Real love lives in consistent reality—not in the hope that someone might someday become a different person.
Want to watch the rest of this episode of the Flying Free Podcast? Head over to youtu.be/sXOw3biIgqk
![Nine Tricky Ways Emotional Abusers Pull Us Back Into the Cycle (and six ways to respond!) [347]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/HYL6iANSLGY/mqdefault.jpg "Nine Tricky Ways Emotional Abusers Pull Us Back Into the Cycle (and six ways to respond!) [347]
If youve ever set a boundary only to get emotionally drop-kicked right back into the dysfunction, this ones for you.
In this episode, I break down 9 manipulative tactics that emotionally abusive people use to keep you stuck in their never-ending circus... and 6 powerful strategies you can start using TODAY to get your life and sanity back.
We’re talking:
🧠 Guilt trips that make you question your worth
🙄 Passive-aggressive digs disguised as “jokes”
🔥 Emotional meltdowns that hijack your peace
💣 Love bombing that makes you second-guess yourself
💪 And boundaries that don’t feel mean—they feel healthy
🛎️ SUBSCRIBE + HIT THE BELL
For more episodes about emotional abuse recovery, Christian deconstruction, boundary setting, and spiritual healing. New episodes every week!
💌 If this helped you, share it with a friend who needs a little truth (and a whole lotta validation).
👍 Like this video if you’ve ever had to say: “The boundary stands.”
🗨️ Drop a comment: Which of these tactics have you experienced?
Related Resources:
🧐 Are you wondering what is happening inside your own painful and confusing marriage? I wrote a book just for you called Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage: A Christian Woman’s Guide to Hidden Emotional and Spiritual Abuse. Get a free chapter when you sign up for my mailing list at the top of my website: https://flyingfreenow.com
👹 My book, All the Scary Little Gods (https://www.flyingfreenow.com/all-the-scary-little-gods/), is a spiritual memoir about healing from religious trauma and toxic programming.
🦋 The Kaleidoscope (https://joinflyingfree.com) is our ridiculously affordable online community educating and supporting Christian women in emotionally abusive marriages. Whether you want to stay in your marriage or leave, we can equip you for the next part of your journey through this program.
🚀 Flying Higher (https://joinflyinghigher.com) is my private mentorship program for Christian women who want to go deeper and work with me in a smaller group.
🎙️ Check out related Flying Free Podcast episodes: “Your Marriage Abuse Cycle Exercise” (https://www.flyingfreenow.com/341-2/) and “How to Respond to Emotional Abuse Tactics” (https://www.flyingfreenow.com/64-2/).
📒 Read the full show notes at https://www.flyingfreenow.com/347
#EmotionalAbuse #FlyingFreePodcast #NatalieHoffman #Boundaries #ToxicRelationships #ChristianWomenHealing #ReligiousTrauma #NarcissisticAbuse #DivorceRecovery #EmotionalHealing #INFJ #FaithDeconstruction")
![Finding Your Freedom, Autonomy, and Independence - High Functioning Women Series Part Four [377]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Klz-1tlf-Ts/mqdefault.jpg "Finding Your Freedom, Autonomy, and Independence - High Functioning Women Series Part Four [377]
This is part four of the High Functioning Christian Women in Destructive Marriages series, and today we talk about a concept that ties the whole series together: sovereignty.
Synonyms for sovereignty include: freedom, autonomy, and independence.
If youve spent years managing everyones needs, shrinking your own, and building an identity around your capacity to give without limit, this episode will challenge a misunderstood theology that was never meant for women who are already pouring out from an empty cup.
🔑 Key Takeaways:
- Theres a critical difference between two things that look almost identical from the outside, and which one youre living in changes everything about how you understand your marriage.
- The die to self command youve been handed your whole life? It may have been written for the exact opposite kind of person from you.
- Why does even asking yourself what do I need? feel like a threat to your survival, not just a little uncomfortable?
- What Jesus actually modeled about rest, limits, and saying no might completely reframe what you think faithful living looks like.
- The one question you could ask yourself in the mirror every single morning that could quietly begin to change everything.
Get Today’s Free Resource:
🧐 Are you wondering what is happening inside your own painful and confusing marriage? I wrote a book just for you called Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage. Get a free chapter by going to isitmebook.com
I will also send you my weekly Hope Letters for Christian women in emotionally and spiritually abusive marriages.")
