Uploaded May 2022 | Updated September 2026, 1 week ago
I wrote this song over the last few months.
Lyrics:
[verse 1]
there's a tiny note of sadness, every time I hear a love song
I've been trying not to notice but it's getting kinda hard to ignore
and the more the song resonates with what I want, the more something in me feels wrong
I look towards the future... what am I in for?
[bridge]
it's been hard, but it'll always be hard they say
how hard is too hard? it's been all work and no play
with a sense that something better is waiting ever just around the bend
so it never feels like the moment to end
...well maybe there's not gonna be a right moment
[chorus 1]
to find the courage to leave
I'm learning to listen to myself, and go slow
after years of being proud, that I had the courage to say “yes”
I’m finding the courage to say “no”
[verse 2]
we doubled down and tried harder, every time the going got tough
our friends admire how we've stuck it through
but it seems to me now: no amount of fighting ourselves, was ever gonna make us feel like enough
I can't accept myself not accepting you... what do I do?
[chorus 2]
I'm finding the courage to leave
I'm learning to listen to myself, and go slow
after years of thinking that I had it all figured out
I’m finding the courage to say “I don’t know”
[suspiciously familiar instrumental interlude]
[verse 3]
my heart swelled with determination, every time I sang "I Won't Give Up"
yeah that song truly helped me face a whole lot of my fears
but I sang so loud I drowned out the voices saying "hey, I never signed up for this"
I rushed into it—where am I?—what am I doing here?
[chorus 3 & 4]
I'm finding the courage to leave
I'm learning to listen to myself, and go slow
after years of being proud, that I had the courage to stay
I’m finding the courage to go
I'm finding the courage to leave
I'm learning to listen to myself, and take time
after years of trying to become someone who could fulfill all your dreams
I’m finding the courage to own mine
Lyrics with chords: docs.google.com/document/d/1FqRH7_z2hvXiIfSETtjsy2onK65UpWT54oXAI81CVc0/edit
I wrote this song over the last few months.
Lyrics:
[verse 1]
there's a tiny note of sadness, every time I hear a love song
I've been trying not to notice but it's getting kinda hard to ignore
and the more the song resonates with what I want, the more something in me feels wrong
I look towards the future... what am I in for?
[bridge]
it's been hard, but it'll always be hard they say
how hard is too hard? it's been all work and no play
with a sense that something better is waiting ever just around the bend
so it never feels like the moment to end
...well maybe there's not gonna be a right moment
[chorus 1]
to find the courage to leave
I'm learning to listen to myself, and go slow
after years of being proud, that I had the courage to say “yes”
I’m finding the courage to say “no”
[verse 2]
we doubled down and tried harder, every time the going got tough
our friends admire how we've stuck it through
but it seems to me now: no amount of fighting ourselves, was ever gonna make us feel like enough
I can't accept myself not accepting you... what do I do?
[chorus 2]
I'm finding the courage to leave
I'm learning to listen to myself, and go slow
after years of thinking that I had it all figured out
I’m finding the courage to say “I don’t know”
[suspiciously familiar instrumental interlude]
[verse 3]
my heart swelled with determination, every time I sang "I Won't Give Up"
yeah that song truly helped me face a whole lot of my fears
but I sang so loud I drowned out the voices saying "hey, I never signed up for this"
I rushed into it—where am I?—what am I doing here?
[chorus 3 & 4]
I'm finding the courage to leave
I'm learning to listen to myself, and go slow
after years of being proud, that I had the courage to stay
I’m finding the courage to go
I'm finding the courage to leave
I'm learning to listen to myself, and take time
after years of trying to become someone who could fulfill all your dreams
I’m finding the courage to own mine
Lyrics with chords: docs.google.com/document/d/1FqRH7_z2hvXiIfSETtjsy2onK65UpWT54oXAI81CVc0/edit








![Lost and Found (Original Song) – Malcolm Ocean
I wrote a song! Brief blog post about the song here:
http://malcolmocean.com/2015/07/lost-and-found-song/
Aaaaand, lyrics:
I got lost, and found
that I could no longer hear my favorite sounds
and so I wandered around... singing aloud
trying to capture all these thoughts
trying to master all these abilities
learning to connect all the dots
and cultivating possibilities
I got lost, and found
that all my bright colors had turned to greys and browns
as I wandered around, downtown
looking around at all the faces
tryna recognize the places
their minds must be
to generate the shapes I see
simulate them on my own features
the body is my teacher, of how they feel
making these strangers real, to me
[instrumental]
I got lost, and found
that I just couldnt seem to keep my feet on the ground
and so I wandered around, the clouds
Tryna find my direction
but I need a more direct connection
with my terminal goals, to
determine which road to point my soles to
Find a reason for all my actions—
gain some better traction
using fusion and fission...
to align my hands with my vision...
in every life decision...
—
I found my map was not the territory
at first, this was kinda scary for me
but I know that living with uncertainty
beats living with a false sense of security
so now the plan is to think on everything I think I know
and if it doesnt match the world to let it go
putting what remains into creations like this song
reminding me that I can never be quite right only Less Wrong
So I seek out every opportunity
for creating and cultivating possibilities
meeting with groups of people, with intersecting goals
and integrating them into an interconnected whole
the conversations get more and more and more abstract
and meta and meta-meta and just like this they go off-track
but in the end were honing in on the world we wanna see
all intelligent beings... acting with empathy
—
I got lost, and found
I had so much to do, and so many questions how
but the wandering around... ends now Lost and Found (Original Song) – Malcolm Ocean](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/VkJe3W0Cbgs/mqdefault.jpg)

![Malcolm & Romeo re supercooperation cluster, gnosis, preference aggregation, &++
Links (and couple of notes with no links)
- vid with Aneesh that were riffing on: https://youtu.be/X6MYsKeTjKk
- meta-protocol quine tweet: https://twitter.com/Malcolm_Ocean/status/1577195956298473477
- Polis: Input crowd, output meaning: https://pol.is
- Convergent Facilitation: https://convergentfacilitation.org/
- SimPol (Simultaneous Policy) - I liked this podcast interview: https://www.jimruttshow.com/john-bunzl/
- common currencies & separate ends:
- all techniques have the same goal, which is to cast a Summon Sapience spell: https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/tahymCqG9jCJtiy4F/sapient-algorithms
- Alexander Technique - recent vid by me: https://youtu.be/yj0C0dhJrEY
- David Chapman article Non-statement aint-framework: https://vividness.live/non-statement
- I can tell for myself: https://malcolmocean.com/2023/11/i-can-tell-for-myself/
- gnosis & hodological maps tweet: https://twitter.com/chaosprime/status/1271895702499721217
- hypercube poem: we couldnt find it! comment below if you know
- you cant trust what you cant trust - short video by me on this: https://youtu.be/uanL3Pzkcx0
- this blog post of mine very relevant to this whole thing: https://malcolmocean.com/2022/10/open-letter-convening-an-ontario-meta-protocol-jam/
- prayer - desire for deliverance from suffering is often available even in very contracted states (except eg blind terror)
- short vid of Jordan Hall talking about the meta-protocol: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y8obOMa7Hqo
- Malcolm & Romeo discuss [[thinking that rejects other thinking]] and many related topics: https://youtu.be/v3-4RxWlx2A Malcolm & Romeo re supercooperation cluster, gnosis, preference aggregation, &++](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/WkU3kN8Dh1w/mqdefault.jpg)