Uploaded August 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
Most people think social skills are about what to say.
In reality, they're often about where you stand.
Take a bar, for example.
If you stand buried in the corner with your friends, you're telling the room, "We're closed for business."
If you stand directly in the main traffic flow, everyone is too busy navigating around you to start a conversation.
The sweet spot is near the edge of movement. Somewhere people naturally pass by, but can easily stop and chat without feeling trapped.
The same principle applies to what I call the "bar exit strategy."
One reason conversations feel awkward is because people accidentally corner themselves. They choose spots where leaving feels difficult, which makes them less likely to start conversations in the first place.
When you know you can gracefully exit at any time, you become more relaxed, more approachable, and more willing to engage.
Most social confidence isn't confidence at all.
It's reducing friction.
The best conversationalists know dozens of tiny social principles like these that make connecting with people feel effortless.
Want more tips like this? Check out People School here!
scienceofpeople.com/training/people-school
******
Hi, I’m Vanessa!
You deserve more. More influence, more income, more of what you want. I would be honored to help you. My name is Vanessa Van Edwards, and I’m a recovering awkward person. I’m also the bestselling author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People (scienceofpeople.com/captivate/), Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication (scienceofpeople.com/cues/), and creator of People School(scienceofpeople.com/people-school/).
My goal is simple: Help YOU get to your goals faster. Never be overlooked, interrupted, or forgotten again.
Do you want to be the most likable person in the room? Get my FREE guide now: scienceofpeople.com/training/be-the-most-likable-person-in-the-room
******
PS - Join the conversation on social!
☞ Facebook: facebook.com/vvanedwards
☞ Twitter: twitter.com/vvanedwards
☞ Instagram: instagram.com/vvanedwards
Most people think social skills are about what to say.
In reality, they're often about where you stand.
Take a bar, for example.
If you stand buried in the corner with your friends, you're telling the room, "We're closed for business."
If you stand directly in the main traffic flow, everyone is too busy navigating around you to start a conversation.
The sweet spot is near the edge of movement. Somewhere people naturally pass by, but can easily stop and chat without feeling trapped.
The same principle applies to what I call the "bar exit strategy."
One reason conversations feel awkward is because people accidentally corner themselves. They choose spots where leaving feels difficult, which makes them less likely to start conversations in the first place.
When you know you can gracefully exit at any time, you become more relaxed, more approachable, and more willing to engage.
Most social confidence isn't confidence at all.
It's reducing friction.
The best conversationalists know dozens of tiny social principles like these that make connecting with people feel effortless.
Want more tips like this? Check out People School here!
scienceofpeople.com/training/people-school
******
Hi, I’m Vanessa!
You deserve more. More influence, more income, more of what you want. I would be honored to help you. My name is Vanessa Van Edwards, and I’m a recovering awkward person. I’m also the bestselling author of Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People (scienceofpeople.com/captivate/), Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication (scienceofpeople.com/cues/), and creator of People School(scienceofpeople.com/people-school/).
My goal is simple: Help YOU get to your goals faster. Never be overlooked, interrupted, or forgotten again.
Do you want to be the most likable person in the room? Get my FREE guide now: scienceofpeople.com/training/be-the-most-likable-person-in-the-room
******
PS - Join the conversation on social!
☞ Facebook: facebook.com/vvanedwards
☞ Twitter: twitter.com/vvanedwards
☞ Instagram: instagram.com/vvanedwards
