Uploaded October 2022 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago

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In this review of The Agony of Eros by Byung-Chul Han, I discuss Han’s argument that modern culture has lost sight of what love really is. Instead of understanding love as risk, transformation, and openness to the other, we increasingly treat it as a personal project, a preference, or an extension of the ego.

Han argues that love requires us to confront what we cannot control: the other person, the limits of our knowledge, and the possibility of being changed by an encounter we did not plan. In that sense, eros is tied to vulnerability, narrative, mystery, and the willingness to go beyond oneself.

In this video, I reflect on some of the book’s central ideas, including:
- love as more than self-gratification or compatibility
- the difference between narrative and image
- the limits of power and control in love
- how the ego blocks eros
- why Han connects narcissism, depression, and modern romantic life

Book:
The Agony of Eros by Byung-Chul Han
Translated by Erik Butler
MIT Press, 2017

Related videos:
My video on The Burnout Society (Byung-Chul Han)
youtu.be/_NWFGQeNybo

My video on The Transparency Society (Byung-Chul Han)
youtu.be/J9nUndGueu4

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