Uploaded October 2020 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
I've been meaning to do this every year, every month, every upload...
I didn't in fear of rejection, in fear of people not caring and in fear of people brushing it aside as "another reason to look up to me" instead of "hey I'm not that badass and I lack a lot of confidence"
I also feared my own demographic... people around the world watch me for my unbiased, unflagged, timeless content. Putting a voice in that would be going against my own design to deliver timeless, solid shitposts.
But my design was made in self-hatred for who I was and how I sounded. It never brought me any good growing up so I had to change this moving forward, no matter how much it hurts.
It didn't help my anxiety that my demographic is so vast. That people of very different beliefs, creeds, and thoughts were enjoying my content, and it's a given that some of those people wouldn't be accepting of the LGBT topic, or trans people as a whole. This fear of knowing some of my viewers would be disappointed or against this change was probably what most drove me away.
My solo hard-edited videos will stay free of commentary, but now if I need to stream, play with friends or some voice lines here and there I can just be myself instead of hiding forever...
I'm not strong enough to allow myself to be vulnerable.. but I'm taking the risk and hoping that the people who support me will help me build my confidence along the way.
I want to open up to my community, cause it was my community's support that eventually made me confident in my works and my talents, I wanted my community to know about me so they could also support my own person, not just my talents.
My voice is a work in progress.. and I apologize for it.. it's been my worst weakness and the thing I'm most insecure about.. my anxieties around it have become self-sustaining over time..
I'm MTF, and I'm a shy mess that's tired of showing thorns and never getting to show the rose.
There's a lot more that I'd like to say but I feel like I said enough, hopefully this is the last time you'll read another stupid wall of text...
I just had a lot to talk about and a lot to bring up.. from years of holding it back.
But I had to break the silence eventually...
You all helped me break the silence.. and saved me.. for that I am grateful and I hope I can return the favor with my personality and my content...
It's a full moon tonight, unlike any other...
twitter.com/TheRedemptress/status/1322524303078862848
I've been meaning to do this every year, every month, every upload...
I didn't in fear of rejection, in fear of people not caring and in fear of people brushing it aside as "another reason to look up to me" instead of "hey I'm not that badass and I lack a lot of confidence"
I also feared my own demographic... people around the world watch me for my unbiased, unflagged, timeless content. Putting a voice in that would be going against my own design to deliver timeless, solid shitposts.
But my design was made in self-hatred for who I was and how I sounded. It never brought me any good growing up so I had to change this moving forward, no matter how much it hurts.
It didn't help my anxiety that my demographic is so vast. That people of very different beliefs, creeds, and thoughts were enjoying my content, and it's a given that some of those people wouldn't be accepting of the LGBT topic, or trans people as a whole. This fear of knowing some of my viewers would be disappointed or against this change was probably what most drove me away.
My solo hard-edited videos will stay free of commentary, but now if I need to stream, play with friends or some voice lines here and there I can just be myself instead of hiding forever...
I'm not strong enough to allow myself to be vulnerable.. but I'm taking the risk and hoping that the people who support me will help me build my confidence along the way.
I want to open up to my community, cause it was my community's support that eventually made me confident in my works and my talents, I wanted my community to know about me so they could also support my own person, not just my talents.
My voice is a work in progress.. and I apologize for it.. it's been my worst weakness and the thing I'm most insecure about.. my anxieties around it have become self-sustaining over time..
I'm MTF, and I'm a shy mess that's tired of showing thorns and never getting to show the rose.
There's a lot more that I'd like to say but I feel like I said enough, hopefully this is the last time you'll read another stupid wall of text...
I just had a lot to talk about and a lot to bring up.. from years of holding it back.
But I had to break the silence eventually...
You all helped me break the silence.. and saved me.. for that I am grateful and I hope I can return the favor with my personality and my content...
It's a full moon tonight, unlike any other...
twitter.com/TheRedemptress/status/1322524303078862848
