Alice Phantom | [Terra x Beast Boy] Losing Your Memory (Vent) @AlicePhantom | Uploaded 7 years ago | Updated 12 hours ago
Is this second time I used this song for a vent? ....Oh well.

I know there was an edit error, yeah I didn't feel like fixing it so kinda ignore it lol.

Okay so I started this a few days ago and decided to get it done. So I'm done with exams and I'm about to graduate on Wednesday. After that I'm done with school until I start college in the fall. (Yes I did sign up for college way back when, not even sure if I'm going to be alive by then tbh.)

Okay so last week I tried to end my life. I kept staggering OD'ing everyday. What is that? Taking more then a recommend dose of pills each day. I did Aleve and Tylenol. I also posted on my snapchat about it, but no one told anyone that could help. Some asked if I was okay, and one actually went after my cousin about it. (She didn't know because I hid my snap story from certain people.) My cousin remarked that why doesn't she just go to my school instead of her. I shrugged her off and didn't let her know that anything was wrong.

Staggering OD'ing is much worse then OD'ing at once because when you do it for a period of time it fucks your insides up. I would know, I had pains in my chest for a little bit. (I didn't say anything to anyone of course.) The only reason I stopped was because I was near out of the pills and had to save them for a time I actually needed them. (Back pain, period cramps, etc.) Also my dad only knows I take Aleve for stuff, not Tylenol.

You're probably thinking, "Oh my god your life is going so well, why are you so depressed? You have no right to want to end your life if things are so well." Fuck off. I do what I need to survive or die, and if that means OD'ing then so fucking be it. We all have shit we need to do.

Have you taken a look at my shoulders lately? Full of cuts. I've been doing that since February. Not always constantly, but most of the time I have. I have to wear my black nice jacket over my sleeveless dresses for the formal crap at school so no one can tell. Shocked my dad hasn't noticed before I had the jacket on. Other than dresses, everything has sleeves that cover them. I stopped doing them on my wrists when people knew.

I actually didn't mean for everything to go this far, but hey. I'm still alive. Great. Someone must obviously want me alive since this is the second time I tried killing myself. (Generalizing.) I also almost died 3 times by drowning when I was a kid. (I wish I did.) I also apparently ran into the street when I was 4 at school. So yea. I've had life threatening accidents in my life, and also purpose life threatening. I know I'm not immortal based on my ankle injuries, but like come fucking on.

Terra- Me
BB- My friend(s)

If you read this far thanks... I guess. I don't know. Tf you want me to say?