Uploaded January 2026 | Updated September 2026, 22 hours ago

---

I DO NOT OWN THIS, ALL RIGHTS GO TO TALKSHOW BOY

Track 16 off of Talkshow Boy's second album, WATCH AS I PERFORM MY OWN TRACHEOTOMY, originally released on August 20th, 2005 through Pocketclock. This is taken directly from the original mp3 zip download available on the Pocketclock website, as the versions seen on Bandcamp available in FLAC are not in any higher quality, yet do not sound the best compared to the original download and I have not found these versions on youtube yet. If I am asked to take this down, I will take it down.

"All songs written, re-written, remembered and wrecked by Adrian Bailey Trajstman. This album was doctored and fixed by R McNaught (topquality)."

Lyrics:
Let's cut class and kiss in the carpark
We don't need to learn cause we know we're smart
Come crunch time you can copy my cheat sheet
So comprehensive that you'll get a perfect mark

Let's teach the tough kids a lesson
Call them names that they'll never forget
Everybody knows that we are the cool kids
Sticks and stones never broken our bones yet

Let's skip school and smoke in the girls room
Let's play Simon says in the sand pit
Screw psychology let's hit the cinemas
Spontaneity is not criminal

I never promised you a rose garden
Honey put down that cigarette
Come over here
I'll get out the sheet music
And play a real waltz
Tell it like it is
Wake up and smell my early morning coffee

I never promised you a rose garden
I never promised you a rose garden
I never promised you a rose garden