Uploaded March 2021 | Updated September 2026, 1 hour ago
Soo venting time, feel free to not read.. ok so I’ve been feeling so unmotivated recently, like, I don’t even feel motivated to do stuff I like. That’s kinda why this edit is so shitty, so sorry about that btw. Also, my parents have been fighting a lot recently over the stupidest shit, and basically the only thing they can ever agree on is how to somehow control me in every way. They set up security cameras across the house, we have a lock that notifies them if it unlocks, I have a screen time limit in which, Idek why they keep it on if I know the password- but anyways there’s a lot more that I can name off the list, including but not limited to forcing me to completely ignore the only friends I had left. I barely ever feel like I’m in control of my life anymore, and it sucks. I’ve tried every trick in the book to maybe possibly feel like I’m in control again like self harm, sneaking out, etc.. yet every time I try they put on more rules and restrictions and act like they own me. I also love how they treat my sexuality like a phase 💕 just yesterday they talked to me about how I just haven’t found the right man yet and that I shouldn’t even know if I’m asexual cause I’m still a virgin abd then went on for h o u r s about how I should just get conversion fucked back into heterosexuality. Overall I’m literally sick of life run and I’m seriously considering death. I would call suicide hotline but, no number haha. I think that the only reason I haven’t done it yet is bc 1 youtube, I love my channel and you guys, and I want to stay updated and if I’m dead I can’t really do that. 2 I’m scared, even if I want to die I’m still scared of death, stupid right? Anyway thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
Soo venting time, feel free to not read.. ok so I’ve been feeling so unmotivated recently, like, I don’t even feel motivated to do stuff I like. That’s kinda why this edit is so shitty, so sorry about that btw. Also, my parents have been fighting a lot recently over the stupidest shit, and basically the only thing they can ever agree on is how to somehow control me in every way. They set up security cameras across the house, we have a lock that notifies them if it unlocks, I have a screen time limit in which, Idek why they keep it on if I know the password- but anyways there’s a lot more that I can name off the list, including but not limited to forcing me to completely ignore the only friends I had left. I barely ever feel like I’m in control of my life anymore, and it sucks. I’ve tried every trick in the book to maybe possibly feel like I’m in control again like self harm, sneaking out, etc.. yet every time I try they put on more rules and restrictions and act like they own me. I also love how they treat my sexuality like a phase 💕 just yesterday they talked to me about how I just haven’t found the right man yet and that I shouldn’t even know if I’m asexual cause I’m still a virgin abd then went on for h o u r s about how I should just get conversion fucked back into heterosexuality. Overall I’m literally sick of life run and I’m seriously considering death. I would call suicide hotline but, no number haha. I think that the only reason I haven’t done it yet is bc 1 youtube, I love my channel and you guys, and I want to stay updated and if I’m dead I can’t really do that. 2 I’m scared, even if I want to die I’m still scared of death, stupid right? Anyway thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
