Uploaded December 2025 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago

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Link to Audiobook: youtu.be/VMDaYlzv-zw

Genre: Upbeat comedic ska-rock with frantic horn stabs, punchy offbeat guitar skanks, fast-paced drums, zany high-energy delivery, bright pop-punk influences, bouncing brass lines, humorous chaotic tone inspired by Weird Al’s “Your Horoscope for Today, ”

[Intro]

[verse 1 – upbeat ska-pop chaos, goofy horns, frantic bounce]
Well it started as a sister trip, just a cute little getaway,
Rarity and Sweetie Belle on a Baltimare holiday!
She’s adjusting all her curls, trying hard to look divine,
When the tunnel lights go dark and she starts admiring her shine.
But Sweetie wants to talk about astrology class,
Rarity’s smiling politely, but it’s going right past—
Until the ground starts shaking like a badly made soufflé,
’Cause there’s a GIANT CRAB coming out of the bay!

[pre-chorus – rapid comedic escalation]
Six legs stomping like a meteor shower,
Two bus-sized claws with anti-pony power,
And everypony’s running with a terrified scream—
Yeah, this is definitely NOT the spa day she dreamed!

[chorus – wild hyperactive ska fanfare]
It’s RARITY versus THE GIANT CRAB!
(Better run before you’re sliced and grabbed!)
It’s a seafood nightmare with a city to stab—
And she’s the only unicorn who’s looking fab!
It’s RARITY versus THE GIANT CRAB!
When diplomacy fails, you improvise a jab!
She’s got a sword and a temper and a sister to nab—
So welcome to the world’s most fashionable crab-stab!

[verse 2 – comedic storytelling, rapid punchlines]
Sweetie Belle charges out like a tiny knight,
Swinging museum swords and trying to do what’s right—
But the crab grabs her mane and hoists her like a snack,
And Rarity is screaming “PUT MY SISTER BACK!”
Then Luna shows up with a cryptic clue:
“Wish-stars, weak spots, this monster’s on you!”
And Rarity’s like “ME?! Are you sure that’s wise?”
But off she goes charging with fire in her eyes!

[pre-chorus – ska-rhythm frenzy]
She’s dodging giant legs like a unicorn ninja,
Throwing rocks like a catapult symphony of vengeance,
She’s climbing up the shell, she’s doing flips in the rain—
This ain’t hooficures and gemstones, she’s bringing the pain!

[chorus – over-the-top heroic silliness]
It’s RARITY versus THE GIANT CRAB!
(Baltimare’s worst-ever ocean gab!)
It’s crustacean chaos in a fashionista grab—
And she won’t stop fighting till she breaks that slab!
It’s RARITY versus THE GIANT CRAB!
With a storm overhead like a doom rehab,
She sees the wishing star and she goes full stab—
Yeah, she brought the glam AND the jab!

[bridge – dramatic comedic ska ballad]
She cuts her mane to break the claw,
She falls with a sword like a magical draw,
And all her wishes melt away to one single plea:
“Give Sweetie back to me.”

[outro – triumphant comedic flourish]
So the next time you think fashion’s soft,
Just remember the mare who faced a crab that scoffed—
She fought a titan with grit and flair,
’Cause NOTHING beats Rarity’s love and hair!

[End}


Welcome to Song For:
This is a series where I will be creating songs for my favorite past Fanfiction Readings, that come from a time before AI Generated music was a thing.

Click on the video to be taken to the Audiobook that I hope might get another chance at attention from my newer listeners.

Podcast
https://anchor.fm/mysteryponyfiction
Patreon
patreon.com/TMFF
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discord.gg/YUM6uZ7A


#mylittlepony
#suno
#music
#horror
#rarity
#sweetiebelle
#comedy
#funny
#cancer
#crab