Uploaded March 2024 | Updated September 2026, 1 hour ago

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Too long for Ch'King 2024 but perfect for the sequel to Jasper Up in the Air
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I made a big decision
I’m gonna make the investment
viewers are like Cool
We’re gonna see everything on PS Five
You’re gonna have the new Joystick too
What do the haters do?
He should’ve bought a bloodtest
Because his cat is sick, it’s sad
How dare phil spend money
Even when it’s investment that’s bad
It's not funny
And beg people to pay for it
Never happened
I said it’s a big investment
And I’d like to make it back
You support my streams and that’s that

I’m buying equipment
for my content

Last month
I told a one off story
Went to a vet, essentially
I was very upset
This vet tried to scam me
They were trying to upsell us
on a bloodtest
we’re done, onto the next
jasper is starting to show
early signs of dental plaque
Did the vet tell us that?
It’s called customer feedback
We’re gonna give it to them
Don’t worry about that
He’s not sick
I’m gonna get this joystick
And she keps(?) pushing it
Just real talk
Let’s talk cost

I’m buying equipment for my content

What you guys don’t know
There’s been follow up
But I’m not gonna tell you
We talked with the management, it’s true
And the management agreed with us
This is ridiculous
This was a hundred percent
Upsell to make profit

We don’t even know
if he received his vaccine
or anything

I’m not gonna tell you guys that
it’s none of your business
When my cat was being examined medically
I was never invited into the room

I have no clue
If it was true
Tryin to be upsold by this vet
Jasper cat
Has no problem
With his urinary tract
We know this for a fact

(Jasper goes BLEH WUP)

Jasper kitty had woken us up
Vomiting all over the floor
In the middle of the night
I got my coffee going
I’m cleaning up a pile of vomit
Big clumps of this dirt and hair
He decided to barf everywhere
And how badly will the vomit be?
Up in the air

He’d probably be poopin and peein
All over the place
Purposefully tryin to eat things
Or vomiting
Making himself vomit
To get attention
My wife who’s changing the litter box
Jasper kitty’s running around the house
Looking for shitting spots
He’s trying to sh!t on the stairs
In the bathroom
In the room across the hallway
Under the desk
So I’m chasing him around
I grabbed him
And put him down
We almost had a house
Full of cat sh!t

Jasper has vomited

Why don’t we do
Full carpet shampoo
The water’s black
Sometimes cats just barf
Jasper cat
Has no problem
With his urinary tract
We know this for a fact

I have no clue
If it was true
Tryin to be upsold by this vet
Jasper Kat
Has no problems
With his urinary tract
We know this for a fact
He just scratched this sh!t out of my leg
Jasper
Why’d you do that?
Jasper stop right now
That’s it
Jasper stop right now
He pulled my equipment across the whole floor
What are you doing?
This joystick is meant to last
It’s got the highest end parts
It’s got heft to it
It’s gonna probably overall improve my game

If I’m gonna get this joystick I’m gonna get this joystick