▶ Sweetcatpaw | Shot in the Dark「AMV」Anime Mix @Sweetcatpaw | Uploaded September 2018 | Updated October 2024, 2 hours ago.
Watch in HQ please - It's way better :D

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Yay another vent video with a super long vent description x'D
At this point I wanna apologize to all of my youtube friends who i have not answered during the last couple of weeks - Those weeks have been a mess...

some of my followers may have noticed my mother died 2,5 month ago (i made a couple of vent videos about this). Well. Not only did my mother have a deadly sickness ... so does my father - He is having some brain-sickness which cannot be cured and once it gets worse it will never get better.
After my mum died his condition has worsened a lot to the point where he needed to be hospitalized too ... Can you imagine? After my mothers death I was hoping not having to enter that hospital for a long time. Well I got two month of peace x'D For the last couple days I have been there almost everyday ... again. Visiting my father.

Well the other day he told me he WANTS to die. As his condition is getting worse really fast he doesn't want to be a burden anymore .. he can't feel his feet. He's starting not to feel his hands... he hardly can do anything alone ... and he also misses my mother of course .. I cannot blame him ... I understand - but I am so afraid of loosing both my parents in such a short amount of time ..

During the last year(s) I have been working so hard to take care for my parents .. I even quit my job to move closer to them ... And now is the time it's finally over ... I feel so weird ~ I am relieved because my parents don't have to suffer anymore ... There wont be any more pain and suffer. They will be both free.

I will be free as well ... I guess? I wont have to visit every couple days to check and take care for everything .. But I am so afraid as well .. and angry ... I am so angry ... Why can most of my friends still spend time with their parents and my time as someones child is over. Why will my children never be able to meet my parents? WHY do other people have so much more time, while my moms and my dads time was way too short ... and the little time they had was filled with such pain.

As a teenager (and until a couple month ago xD) I was always arguing with my father because we NEVER could understand each other - I am sure 90% of my vent-videos back then were because of my father being mean to me - Its so weird ... He's not even back yet but seeing him suffer so much and WANTING to die is so cruel ...

You know ... someone who has given up on himself reduces really fast ... He is forgetting so much, even called me my mothers name a couple of times .. I don't know how to end this vent so... bye... i guess .. thanks for reading..

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Anime: Clannad ~ After Story, Darling in the FranxX, Charlotte, Hibike! Euphonium, Chuunibyou, Fairy Tail - ZERO

Song: Within Temptation - Shot in the Dark