Uploaded August 2019 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
In a confusing twist before the tape even starts, the producers of Scooterz explicitly claim that this is NOT an instructional video, despite the subtitle, "Basics and Beyond."
Things get underway as a middle school-aged kid opens his locker to reveal a folded Razor scooter, which he promptly assembles. A late 90's punk soundtrack kicks in, accompanying the boy's glide home. Suddenly, the child happens upon an old man on a Rascal scooter. It's clear that there's some kind of history between the two, as the old man (who's clad in a hat that simply says "Lab") and the kid engage in an intense stare-down, followed by a scooter race. The contest proves to be a much more competitive battle than one would assume, with the old man actually ahead a majority of the time. Eventually, the race concludes when both reach their final destination: the same household - it was a grandson and grandfather all along! Notably, even though this is a scooter home video, it looks like things end in a TIE, so the kid wasn't even fast enough to beat a senior citizen. The pair deliberately hide the race from the boy's father... likely to spare him the embarrassment of the outcome.
After the opening montage concludes, we meet our host, Eric Wylie. Wylie, a 20-something who appears to be fulfilling his destiny with this particular gig, marvels at how something "so new can become so huge," despite immediately contradicting himself by revealing that scooters have been around for nearly an entire century. He goes on to credit the entire continent of Asia and some Tony Hawk skateboarding trick as the catalyst for the scooter craze, even going so far as to suggest that folks ride them to work... which seems impractical for 99.9999% of the population.
Nearly four minutes into the tape, viewers are treated to their first real scooter footage: novice-level preteens gliding around with helmets on. The most impressive "trick" takes place at 4:41, when one of the kids literally just pitches his scooter off of a staircase, without even attempting to ride it down himself. The performance works up quite a thirst in the children, so at 4:51, they sit down to drink some ECTO COOLER Hi-C! Their uninspired production goes on for another grueling 90 seconds, when the kids scoot into a McDonald's and order Happy Meals. Eventually, the trio make it home from their fast food run and pop in an inline skating VHS. Seems innocent enough, until the footage they're watching is also shown, in full, on this scooter-themed release??? They couldn't find any more scooter content that that??? On the bright side, the skating tricks are on a much higher level than anything the scooter gang would have ever even attempted.
Once again, the host returns to tout Tony Hawk's skateboarding trick at the X-Games, despite its negligible importance, if any, to scooters. Like last time, Eric seizes this opportunity to try to convince us that scooters are viable work transportation for adults. Mercifully, this skit is kept short and we move on to, get this... actual scooter trick footage! This time, the highlights feature adults who seem to have practiced some of their routines before being featured in a commercially-available video tape.
After doing a jump on a scooter of his own, Eric explains that some of the athletes from other sports have left to join "Team Razors." Rather than illustrating this with scooting footage of the new team members, a video package highlights their prior incarnations as wakeboarders/skateboarders. After several minutes of the other sports, the pros get on their Razors and it's time for, you guessed it... a game of roller hockey! The players only compete until a single goal is scored, then scoot back home, never to be seen or heard from again.
Wylie is back and decides to throw some shade at baseball for not growing as fast as "sports of the new millennium," failing to recognize how impractical of a comparison he's making, given each sport's baseline popularity. In the least predictable moment yet, the host even goes on to quote the Silver Age, Roman poet, Statius while hyping an up-and-coming electric scooter brand. The new, motorized scooters get a montage of their own, and actually look pretty cool. Things soon conclude and we get bonus footage of folks mostly screwing up scooter tricks, set to a replay of the first song.
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In a confusing twist before the tape even starts, the producers of Scooterz explicitly claim that this is NOT an instructional video, despite the subtitle, "Basics and Beyond."
Things get underway as a middle school-aged kid opens his locker to reveal a folded Razor scooter, which he promptly assembles. A late 90's punk soundtrack kicks in, accompanying the boy's glide home. Suddenly, the child happens upon an old man on a Rascal scooter. It's clear that there's some kind of history between the two, as the old man (who's clad in a hat that simply says "Lab") and the kid engage in an intense stare-down, followed by a scooter race. The contest proves to be a much more competitive battle than one would assume, with the old man actually ahead a majority of the time. Eventually, the race concludes when both reach their final destination: the same household - it was a grandson and grandfather all along! Notably, even though this is a scooter home video, it looks like things end in a TIE, so the kid wasn't even fast enough to beat a senior citizen. The pair deliberately hide the race from the boy's father... likely to spare him the embarrassment of the outcome.
After the opening montage concludes, we meet our host, Eric Wylie. Wylie, a 20-something who appears to be fulfilling his destiny with this particular gig, marvels at how something "so new can become so huge," despite immediately contradicting himself by revealing that scooters have been around for nearly an entire century. He goes on to credit the entire continent of Asia and some Tony Hawk skateboarding trick as the catalyst for the scooter craze, even going so far as to suggest that folks ride them to work... which seems impractical for 99.9999% of the population.
Nearly four minutes into the tape, viewers are treated to their first real scooter footage: novice-level preteens gliding around with helmets on. The most impressive "trick" takes place at 4:41, when one of the kids literally just pitches his scooter off of a staircase, without even attempting to ride it down himself. The performance works up quite a thirst in the children, so at 4:51, they sit down to drink some ECTO COOLER Hi-C! Their uninspired production goes on for another grueling 90 seconds, when the kids scoot into a McDonald's and order Happy Meals. Eventually, the trio make it home from their fast food run and pop in an inline skating VHS. Seems innocent enough, until the footage they're watching is also shown, in full, on this scooter-themed release??? They couldn't find any more scooter content that that??? On the bright side, the skating tricks are on a much higher level than anything the scooter gang would have ever even attempted.
Once again, the host returns to tout Tony Hawk's skateboarding trick at the X-Games, despite its negligible importance, if any, to scooters. Like last time, Eric seizes this opportunity to try to convince us that scooters are viable work transportation for adults. Mercifully, this skit is kept short and we move on to, get this... actual scooter trick footage! This time, the highlights feature adults who seem to have practiced some of their routines before being featured in a commercially-available video tape.
After doing a jump on a scooter of his own, Eric explains that some of the athletes from other sports have left to join "Team Razors." Rather than illustrating this with scooting footage of the new team members, a video package highlights their prior incarnations as wakeboarders/skateboarders. After several minutes of the other sports, the pros get on their Razors and it's time for, you guessed it... a game of roller hockey! The players only compete until a single goal is scored, then scoot back home, never to be seen or heard from again.
Wylie is back and decides to throw some shade at baseball for not growing as fast as "sports of the new millennium," failing to recognize how impractical of a comparison he's making, given each sport's baseline popularity. In the least predictable moment yet, the host even goes on to quote the Silver Age, Roman poet, Statius while hyping an up-and-coming electric scooter brand. The new, motorized scooters get a montage of their own, and actually look pretty cool. Things soon conclude and we get bonus footage of folks mostly screwing up scooter tricks, set to a replay of the first song.
Subscribe and check out our archive of over 800 commercials, 300 food/drink reviews and a mounting list of special features!
