Uploaded July 2026 | Updated September 2026, 1 week ago

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song: youtu.be/YY5RESKsEBg?si=37pezbEpLV8NXAS-

a compilation of some of the things i ruminate on
the colors are symbolic

light blue is my dad and the ‘vase’ is his urn

i hate to ever see my actions impacted by the “purple” person. the moment i ever felt like i acted a certain way because of him, i felt immense shame. i never want to be like him or do anything like what he did to me.

my therapist told me that i’m being emotionally abused (by the “dark blue” person). I am basically codependent and regardless I fear I have no choice with my current circumstances.

“magenta” I can’t let go. not yet. you were good to me, but you didn’t care to try for me. friend, i just keep bothering you because i dwell too much.

other colors are miscellaneous other people not shown explicitly here