Uploaded October 2010 | Updated September 2026, 1 week ago
Toilets shouldn't be scary. Actor: Kelli Bland
projectrant.com
Real online rants recreated in video with professional actors.
Auto-flush
The other day, I was in a public restroom and overheard a woman trying to coax her terrified child into using the toilet despite it having an auto-flush. I'm with you sister. I don't like being scared off of the toilet by a flush that sounds like a fucking drowning cat that's trying to claw its way out either.
In fact, I'd like to meet the person who created the auto-flush toilet and punch em right square in the fucking jaw. Really genius? What the fuck were you thinking? Is it that hard to flush a toilet?
And don't tell me it's great because it keeps you from having to touch anything in the bathroom. I can't remember the last time I decided rather than kicking the flusher, I would use my hand. If anything, it's waaaay more unsanitary, because it fucking splashes excrement up at you while you're still taking care of business. I can manage my own courtesy flush, thank you very much.
The auto-flush was created to give us another excuse to be lazy. While you're at it, how about an auto-ass-wiper? Because it's fucking disgusting, that's why.
Toilets shouldn't be scary. Actor: Kelli Bland
projectrant.com
Real online rants recreated in video with professional actors.
Auto-flush
The other day, I was in a public restroom and overheard a woman trying to coax her terrified child into using the toilet despite it having an auto-flush. I'm with you sister. I don't like being scared off of the toilet by a flush that sounds like a fucking drowning cat that's trying to claw its way out either.
In fact, I'd like to meet the person who created the auto-flush toilet and punch em right square in the fucking jaw. Really genius? What the fuck were you thinking? Is it that hard to flush a toilet?
And don't tell me it's great because it keeps you from having to touch anything in the bathroom. I can't remember the last time I decided rather than kicking the flusher, I would use my hand. If anything, it's waaaay more unsanitary, because it fucking splashes excrement up at you while you're still taking care of business. I can manage my own courtesy flush, thank you very much.
The auto-flush was created to give us another excuse to be lazy. While you're at it, how about an auto-ass-wiper? Because it's fucking disgusting, that's why.
