Uploaded September 2021 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
This is a computer game and is meant solely for entertainment purposes. This game contains content and materials not recommended for children, and/or those seeking to enhance or establish political careers.
Running with scissors believes violence and inappropriate actions belong in video games,
and not the real world, and insists that in no event should anyone attempt to recreate or mimic any of the actions, events or situations ovvurring in this game.
These signs are used to mark passageways where a different section of the city will be loaded from your hard drive. Some load time is inevitable, but there are steps you can take to reduce it.
See Improving Performance.
Really, life will be much easier if every damn cop and psycho vigilante in town isn’t attacking
you on sight because you’re parading around town with your damn rocket launcher out. Moron.
* People have long memories in Paradise. While completing some of your errands you’ll invariably anger specific groups of people. Once these groups start hating you, all their look-alike-buddies will attack you on sight, even after the day you first pissed them off. If your attention span is completely toasted, you can always look at the map to see what groups are currently unhappy with you.
* Listen carefully! Policemen usually warn you before coming after you. Hearing what people say can help clarify what’s going on. The Postal Dude says lots of important stuff. Or just turn off the sound and use the force, Mr. Miyagi, it’s all up to you.
* Know your weapons: you can easily damage yourself if you choose your weapon poorly. Tip: Using napalm indoors = bad.
* Conserve weapons with greater damage potential for the really crazy situations. There’s nothing more embarrassing than finding yourself facing the Seventh Division armed only with scissors because you wasted all your napalm on the local marching band.
* Go directly to jail! Sure it’s filled with cops, but it’s filled with lots of goodies, too. If you’re low on health and in a jam, you could try surrendering to the police to enjoy a little R and R.
* Look around! Often the most enjoyable items and weapons will be hiding around in uncommon places, so be sure to explore your world. You’ll be surprised where some things can be hidden.
* Utilize your character’s mobility: The Postal Dude can strafe and duck, which comes in handy when engaging in return fire against an armed opponent. – Or just stand there and die. See if we care.
* RWS employees will back you up in a firefight! They also try to help you out if the Law Man is keeping you down. If you’re out picking fights and being generally mischievous, you can run and hide behind them when the mobs come after you. Sure you just got fired, but there are no hard feelings between you and Vince.
00:00:00 Intro
00:03:42 Monday, Pick up paycheck
00:09:35 Monday, Cash paycheck
00:21:01 Monday, Get milk
00:27:59 Tuesday, Get signatures
00:34:58 Tuesday, Confess sins
00:41:27 Tuesday, Gary´s autograph
00:55:30 Tuesday, Return book
01:18:30 Wednesday, Get x-mas tree
01:24:40 Wednesday, Vote
01:31:36 Wednesday, Piss on dad
01:40:12 Wednesday, Pickup laundry
02:04:30 Thursday, Get Krotchy
02:12:06 Thursday, Get napalm
02:24:30 Thursday, Pay ticket
02:43:04 Thursday, Get steaks
02:55:06 Friday, Puck up package
03:00:35 Friday, Get alternator
03:16:49 Friday, Go to clinic
03:23:16 Friday, Uncle Dave´s B-day
03:43:10 Credits
This is a computer game and is meant solely for entertainment purposes. This game contains content and materials not recommended for children, and/or those seeking to enhance or establish political careers.
Running with scissors believes violence and inappropriate actions belong in video games,
and not the real world, and insists that in no event should anyone attempt to recreate or mimic any of the actions, events or situations ovvurring in this game.
These signs are used to mark passageways where a different section of the city will be loaded from your hard drive. Some load time is inevitable, but there are steps you can take to reduce it.
See Improving Performance.
Really, life will be much easier if every damn cop and psycho vigilante in town isn’t attacking
you on sight because you’re parading around town with your damn rocket launcher out. Moron.
* People have long memories in Paradise. While completing some of your errands you’ll invariably anger specific groups of people. Once these groups start hating you, all their look-alike-buddies will attack you on sight, even after the day you first pissed them off. If your attention span is completely toasted, you can always look at the map to see what groups are currently unhappy with you.
* Listen carefully! Policemen usually warn you before coming after you. Hearing what people say can help clarify what’s going on. The Postal Dude says lots of important stuff. Or just turn off the sound and use the force, Mr. Miyagi, it’s all up to you.
* Know your weapons: you can easily damage yourself if you choose your weapon poorly. Tip: Using napalm indoors = bad.
* Conserve weapons with greater damage potential for the really crazy situations. There’s nothing more embarrassing than finding yourself facing the Seventh Division armed only with scissors because you wasted all your napalm on the local marching band.
* Go directly to jail! Sure it’s filled with cops, but it’s filled with lots of goodies, too. If you’re low on health and in a jam, you could try surrendering to the police to enjoy a little R and R.
* Look around! Often the most enjoyable items and weapons will be hiding around in uncommon places, so be sure to explore your world. You’ll be surprised where some things can be hidden.
* Utilize your character’s mobility: The Postal Dude can strafe and duck, which comes in handy when engaging in return fire against an armed opponent. – Or just stand there and die. See if we care.
* RWS employees will back you up in a firefight! They also try to help you out if the Law Man is keeping you down. If you’re out picking fights and being generally mischievous, you can run and hide behind them when the mobs come after you. Sure you just got fired, but there are no hard feelings between you and Vince.
00:00:00 Intro
00:03:42 Monday, Pick up paycheck
00:09:35 Monday, Cash paycheck
00:21:01 Monday, Get milk
00:27:59 Tuesday, Get signatures
00:34:58 Tuesday, Confess sins
00:41:27 Tuesday, Gary´s autograph
00:55:30 Tuesday, Return book
01:18:30 Wednesday, Get x-mas tree
01:24:40 Wednesday, Vote
01:31:36 Wednesday, Piss on dad
01:40:12 Wednesday, Pickup laundry
02:04:30 Thursday, Get Krotchy
02:12:06 Thursday, Get napalm
02:24:30 Thursday, Pay ticket
02:43:04 Thursday, Get steaks
02:55:06 Friday, Puck up package
03:00:35 Friday, Get alternator
03:16:49 Friday, Go to clinic
03:23:16 Friday, Uncle Dave´s B-day
03:43:10 Credits
