Uploaded January 2013 | Updated September 2026, 5 hours ago

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Okay so this literally was a project inspired by frustration. I caught up with a couple YouTube videos, and was reminded again on how out of the loop (or should I say, Circle) I was nowadays. I haven't uploaded anything in eons, haven't been commenting in a timely way at all, and have generally been sitting on the sidelines -- no, the nosebleed seats among my YouTube friends.

I found a song that was appropriately sad (but not overly tear-struck LOL) and smashed together some junk of which zip was in common, except the fact that I saw those movies recently and liked them enough to rip them into my drive. Anyway, I started at 1 am and finished around 3 am, half the time waiting for Premiere Pro to get its rendering to just enable me to preview the stuff. But when it can barely even preview clips that have been rendered already, you know it's the end.
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbfqulpjqQ1rnhv55.gif

I literally almost cried a couple times making this vid. Just so much buildup and breakdown and lost time in everything -- my projects, my schoolwork, and 20 seconds of vid. Those movies featured here (namely Spiderman 3 and Sorcerer's Apprentice) I watched despite having zero time for them. Escapism. And lovely escapism at that. Lovely morals and Christian allusions in the first and new Hiccup memories in the second. It's 4 am at the time I'm writing this, so forgive the randomness. I think I owe you guys an explanation.

Whenever I do get on YT I get inspired and want to dive in and make a video, but it's hard to keep inspiration when your editor wants to test your patience at every turn. I really oughtn't be so negative, but I guess it's hard not to. And then with everyone progressing so much with vid-making, I want so desperately to join you like the old days. Now on the quick-clips kick, I would have been able to participate since more than a month ago I got inspired by this video:
youtube.com/watch?v=DsjKAzcVJvM
Which spoiled me on fast, melded stuff that I can't figure how to do so easily on Premiere Pro. It must be Vegas, because I'm getting that vid's vibes from NF95 now. My sister says maybe I should get Vegas and dump Premiere Pro. Maybe I should dump my computer while I'm at it, since it might be a hardware problem. Oh well.
media.tumblr.com/194fa716676679e7b8f9ab83d586b1d3/tumblr_inline_mgpwcq5FwC1rq2fwd.gif

Epic win on the thumbnail though. And I did feel some kind of boost for having made something, anything at all, with Premiere Pro again. It's been too long. Timings are off, in the latter part of the vid. Anyway, just wanted to put this out. I'm sorry for being such a downer.

Someday, somehow, I'm gonna make it alright
but not right now...

edit: I'm doing better ever since posting. I think after getting so down, the body needs to uplift itself. Besides, I'm going to make a new leaf of things. Part of my troubles was spiritual, I guess, and Tumblr-related, and me doing things I shouldn't have.