Uploaded August 2026 | Updated September 2026, 3 weeks ago
In this episode of **The Neil Haley Show**, Neil “The Media Giant” Haley welcomes author, lecturer, former Navy SEAL, and caregiver **Paul Shemella** to discuss his memoir, *Into the Mist: An Alzheimer’s Journey*. Shemella shares the deeply personal story of caring for his wife, Lena, through Alzheimer’s disease while offering practical lessons for families facing dementia, early warning signs, lifestyle changes, memory care, and the emotional realities of caregiving.
Shemella begins by explaining the difference between dementia and Alzheimer’s. Dementia is an umbrella term encompassing many different conditions, while Alzheimer’s is the most common form. He notes that other major forms include vascular dementia, Lewy body dementia, and frontotemporal dementia.
His own identity, he says, can be summarized in four words: **SEAL, lecturer, writer, and caregiver**. The first three roles may have prepared him for discipline and problem solving, but nothing completely prepared him for watching his wife gradually lose cognitive and physical abilities.
At first, Shemella made the mistake of continuing to treat Lena as the independent professional she had always been. Over time, he realized dementia was progressively reducing her ability to reason, communicate, and function. Eventually, she required the level of care provided by a memory-care facility.
Putting Lena into memory care was emotionally painful, but Shemella now believes it was necessary for both of them. He emphasizes one of the most important lessons caregivers must learn: **you cannot always do this alone**.
That lesson became one of the motivations for writing *Into the Mist*. Shemella wanted to document Lena’s remarkable life while also helping future caregivers avoid some of the mistakes he made. The book includes an appendix featuring lessons learned and practical caregiving recommendations.
Shemella describes the growing number of dementia cases as a looming challenge for the American healthcare system. He argues that society is not fully prepared for the number of families who will soon require memory-care services, medical support, and caregiver assistance.
One of the most hopeful parts of the conversation involves prevention. Shemella discusses research suggesting that a meaningful percentage of dementia risk may potentially be reduced through lifestyle changes. He emphasizes regular exercise, healthy eating, quality sleep, social interaction, and staying intellectually engaged.
Neil and Paul agree that retirement should never mean retiring the brain. Reading, conversation, learning new skills, solving problems, maintaining friendships, and remaining curious may help people stay cognitively active as they age.
Shemella also stresses the importance of recognizing patterns instead of dismissing every memory problem as normal aging. Forgetting a name occasionally is not necessarily alarming. Repeatedly losing important objects, becoming confused about familiar places, experiencing personality changes, or showing a persistent decline in daily functioning may warrant medical evaluation.
Early diagnosis matters because newer treatments and interventions may be most useful during the earliest stages. Shemella encourages families who suspect cognitive decline to begin by ruling out conditions that can mimic dementia, sometimes called pseudodementia. Vitamin deficiencies, depression, medications, and other medical issues can sometimes create symptoms that resemble cognitive decline.
If those explanations are ruled out, he recommends seeing a neurologist as early as possible.
Shemella admits he wishes he had pushed harder for Lena to receive neurological evaluation sooner. Like many people in the early stages of dementia, she resisted the idea that anything was wrong. That denial created conflict and delayed care.
The book also tells Lena’s remarkable personal story. Born in Germany, she survived wartime bombing as a young child. Shemella believes those experiences may have left her with lasting trauma, although he is careful to distinguish his personal interpretation from established medical certainty.
Today, Lena is in the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s. She uses a wheelchair, cannot speak, and requires help eating. Yet she still smiles.
That smile has become enormously meaningful to Paul.
Shemella encourages caregivers to strengthen their support networks, educate themselves, ask for help, and accept that professional memory care may eventually become necessary. Most importantly, he urges families to enjoy the moments they still have.
His message is simple: **take nothing for granted and live from one moment of joy to the next.**
Readers can find *Into the Mist: An Alzheimer’s Journey* and Paul Shemella’s other books on **Amazon**, and connect with him through **Facebook, LinkedIn, and Substack**.
In this episode of **The Neil Haley Show**, Neil “The Media Giant” Haley welcomes author, lecturer, former Navy SEAL, and caregiver **Paul Shemella** to discuss his memoir, *Into the Mist: An Alzheimer’s Journey*. Shemella shares the deeply personal story of caring for his wife, Lena, through Alzheimer’s disease while offering practical lessons for families facing dementia, early warning signs, lifestyle changes, memory care, and the emotional realities of caregiving.
Shemella begins by explaining the difference between dementia and Alzheimer’s. Dementia is an umbrella term encompassing many different conditions, while Alzheimer’s is the most common form. He notes that other major forms include vascular dementia, Lewy body dementia, and frontotemporal dementia.
His own identity, he says, can be summarized in four words: **SEAL, lecturer, writer, and caregiver**. The first three roles may have prepared him for discipline and problem solving, but nothing completely prepared him for watching his wife gradually lose cognitive and physical abilities.
At first, Shemella made the mistake of continuing to treat Lena as the independent professional she had always been. Over time, he realized dementia was progressively reducing her ability to reason, communicate, and function. Eventually, she required the level of care provided by a memory-care facility.
Putting Lena into memory care was emotionally painful, but Shemella now believes it was necessary for both of them. He emphasizes one of the most important lessons caregivers must learn: **you cannot always do this alone**.
That lesson became one of the motivations for writing *Into the Mist*. Shemella wanted to document Lena’s remarkable life while also helping future caregivers avoid some of the mistakes he made. The book includes an appendix featuring lessons learned and practical caregiving recommendations.
Shemella describes the growing number of dementia cases as a looming challenge for the American healthcare system. He argues that society is not fully prepared for the number of families who will soon require memory-care services, medical support, and caregiver assistance.
One of the most hopeful parts of the conversation involves prevention. Shemella discusses research suggesting that a meaningful percentage of dementia risk may potentially be reduced through lifestyle changes. He emphasizes regular exercise, healthy eating, quality sleep, social interaction, and staying intellectually engaged.
Neil and Paul agree that retirement should never mean retiring the brain. Reading, conversation, learning new skills, solving problems, maintaining friendships, and remaining curious may help people stay cognitively active as they age.
Shemella also stresses the importance of recognizing patterns instead of dismissing every memory problem as normal aging. Forgetting a name occasionally is not necessarily alarming. Repeatedly losing important objects, becoming confused about familiar places, experiencing personality changes, or showing a persistent decline in daily functioning may warrant medical evaluation.
Early diagnosis matters because newer treatments and interventions may be most useful during the earliest stages. Shemella encourages families who suspect cognitive decline to begin by ruling out conditions that can mimic dementia, sometimes called pseudodementia. Vitamin deficiencies, depression, medications, and other medical issues can sometimes create symptoms that resemble cognitive decline.
If those explanations are ruled out, he recommends seeing a neurologist as early as possible.
Shemella admits he wishes he had pushed harder for Lena to receive neurological evaluation sooner. Like many people in the early stages of dementia, she resisted the idea that anything was wrong. That denial created conflict and delayed care.
The book also tells Lena’s remarkable personal story. Born in Germany, she survived wartime bombing as a young child. Shemella believes those experiences may have left her with lasting trauma, although he is careful to distinguish his personal interpretation from established medical certainty.
Today, Lena is in the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s. She uses a wheelchair, cannot speak, and requires help eating. Yet she still smiles.
That smile has become enormously meaningful to Paul.
Shemella encourages caregivers to strengthen their support networks, educate themselves, ask for help, and accept that professional memory care may eventually become necessary. Most importantly, he urges families to enjoy the moments they still have.
His message is simple: **take nothing for granted and live from one moment of joy to the next.**
Readers can find *Into the Mist: An Alzheimer’s Journey* and Paul Shemella’s other books on **Amazon**, and connect with him through **Facebook, LinkedIn, and Substack**.
