Uploaded July 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
Ever feel like you’re the “parent” in your relationship — managing everything while your partner just... coasts? You’re not alone. And it’s not just you being controlling.
Host Cate Osborn talks with ADHD coach Kristen Carder (host of I Have ADHD, author of the upcoming You’re Not in Trouble) about why ADHD relationships so easily slide into parent-child dynamics, and how to climb back out.
They get into why resentment is the red flag to watch for, and Kristen’s favorite mantra for “de-centering” an overfunctioning partner (“there is no sun — we’re equals here”). Plus eldest daughter syndrome, and why chicken nuggets for dinner is sometimes the healthiest choice you’ll make all day.
Honest, funny, and genuinely useful if you’ve ever wondered whether you’re parenting your partner instead of loving them.
For more on this topic
Listen: Sorry, I Missed This: When ADHD turns chores into conflict understood.org/en/podcasts/adhd-channel/sorry-i-missed-this-adhd-chores-conflict
Watch: ADHD expert answers 8 top questions on romantic relationships youtube.com/watch?v=qBAGVq_tJRE
For a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed This on Understood.org. understood.org/en/podcasts/sorry-i-missed-this/adhd-relationship-resentment
You can also email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.
Questions about learning and thinking differences? Get answers and expert-vetted resources by asking the AI-powered Understood Assistant:
understood.org/en/assistant?utm_medium=organic&utm_source=youtube&utm_campaign=assistant-agn-prod&utm_content=video
Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/en/donate?sc=SIMT0725YTO&utm_medium=organic&utm_source=youtube&utm_campaign=fundraising-agn-vid-sorryimissedthis&utm_content=video
For more resources, support, and excellent memes, subscribe to our YouTube channel or follow us on:
Instagram: instagram.com/understoodorg
Facebook: facebook.com/Understood
TikTok: tiktok.com/@understood.org
Pinterest: pinterest.com/understoodorg
#ADHDRelationships #ADHDConflict #SorryIMissedThis #ParentifiedRelationships
Ever feel like you’re the “parent” in your relationship — managing everything while your partner just... coasts? You’re not alone. And it’s not just you being controlling.
Host Cate Osborn talks with ADHD coach Kristen Carder (host of I Have ADHD, author of the upcoming You’re Not in Trouble) about why ADHD relationships so easily slide into parent-child dynamics, and how to climb back out.
They get into why resentment is the red flag to watch for, and Kristen’s favorite mantra for “de-centering” an overfunctioning partner (“there is no sun — we’re equals here”). Plus eldest daughter syndrome, and why chicken nuggets for dinner is sometimes the healthiest choice you’ll make all day.
Honest, funny, and genuinely useful if you’ve ever wondered whether you’re parenting your partner instead of loving them.
For more on this topic
Listen: Sorry, I Missed This: When ADHD turns chores into conflict understood.org/en/podcasts/adhd-channel/sorry-i-missed-this-adhd-chores-conflict
Watch: ADHD expert answers 8 top questions on romantic relationships youtube.com/watch?v=qBAGVq_tJRE
For a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed This on Understood.org. understood.org/en/podcasts/sorry-i-missed-this/adhd-relationship-resentment
You can also email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.
Questions about learning and thinking differences? Get answers and expert-vetted resources by asking the AI-powered Understood Assistant:
understood.org/en/assistant?utm_medium=organic&utm_source=youtube&utm_campaign=assistant-agn-prod&utm_content=video
Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/en/donate?sc=SIMT0725YTO&utm_medium=organic&utm_source=youtube&utm_campaign=fundraising-agn-vid-sorryimissedthis&utm_content=video
For more resources, support, and excellent memes, subscribe to our YouTube channel or follow us on:
Instagram: instagram.com/understoodorg
Facebook: facebook.com/Understood
TikTok: tiktok.com/@understood.org
Pinterest: pinterest.com/understoodorg
#ADHDRelationships #ADHDConflict #SorryIMissedThis #ParentifiedRelationships
