Sawnah | Ordinary Woman @Sawnahhh | Uploaded 6 years ago | Updated 3 days ago
Personal and in Finnish, just the way I like it. English subtitles tho.

Made this in about two hours today.

This is ... another video of my son, and how losing him is still a huge part of me even though I look like an ordinary woman.

I get that life goes on and shit, and I get that people think I should be over this by now. But I'm not and I won't be. It affects me every day, and the smallest things can bring up painful memories (sometimes it happens even without a trigger).

I find it hard to be happy for others. It's easy to fake, but I feel hollow inside.

If Axel was alive, he would be 6 years old now. I think about what he would be like, what my life would be like. And every year I am just reminded about how truly empty my life is, and how so many other people in my life is granted the happiness that I so deeply desire. Multiple times, even.

I'm ordinary.
I'm broken.
I'm hollow.
I'm faking.
I'm struggling.
I'm not okay.