Uploaded March 2014 | Updated September 2026, 1 hour ago

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Satan sings slightly rewritten and more accurate to the source material Sunday School songs for the kiddies! You know Christians... if you're going to teach your kids songs about Old Testament killings, why sugarcoat it?

Only a boy named David
Only a little sling
Only a boy named David
He was accurate with that thing
Only a boy named David
Hit Goliath on the head
Only a boy named David
Chopped his head off and he was dead

And one little stone went into the sling
And the sling went round and round
Then David beheaded Goliath with a sword
Right after the giant fell down
David killed and killed
David killed and killed
And killed and killed and killed
King Saul only killed his thousands
But David his tens of thousands!

David got a bag of foreskins
He brought it to the king
King Saul only asked for a hundred
David said, "it aint no thing"
He killed two hundred Philistines
Put their wiener skins in a sack
A crazy kid named David
Lord YHWH had his back

Then pervy old King David
Saw Bathsheba in the tub
She was married to Uriah
But King David was in lust
Then David had sex with Bathsheba
But they didn't use the pill
So David sent Uriah to the frontline
Of battle where he was killed

Then David married Bathsheba
'cause she was pregnant with his kid
God was angry with David
Since adultery (and murder) are sins
Then God sent his prophet Nathan
To punish the newlyweds
Here's God's poetic justice
An innocent kid was dead