Uploaded May 2023 | Updated September 2026, 8 hours ago
Every couple fights.
If they don’t, I really have to wonder if their relationship is important and valuable to them.
Why? Well, valuable things are worth fighting for...right?
So, if fighting is a part of every healthy and normal relationship, how can we fight well?
Let me use an analogy: Tennis
A tennis match is only good when the ball is hit back and forth.
Without a volley back and forth, it’s not a really a good game; it’s only a series of serves.
Think about it...what tennis highlights get featured on ESPN? It’s the long and dramatic vollies where both players keep making incredible hits and saves until finally—after a long time—someone finally misses the ball, or it’s outside of the lines. Even so, unless the match is over, they grab another ball and start again.
So, what can we learn from tennis that can enable us to have healthier conflict in our relationships?
First: Keep the Ball Moving
Just engage and “hit” the ball your partner vollies to your side of the court. Your volley doesn’t have to be perfect. Just try. Make contact. Be intent on doing everything you can to keep the “ball” (conversation) going.
Second: Stay on the Court
Walking away—every time—or deflecting or laughing it off or anything else one does to consistently avoid conflict is unkind, unhelpful, and unproductive. It’s impossible to have a volley if the other person is no longer on the other side of the court.
Third: Hit the Ball as Gently as Possible
If one is intent on a consistent and productive volley—and not total victory—then one must refrain from hitting the ball at the other person as hard as possible! Doing so may “break” your opponent and win the point, but result in one losing the game.
#marriage #fighting #arguments #relationships #conflict #marriageadvice #marriage #marriage
Every couple fights.
If they don’t, I really have to wonder if their relationship is important and valuable to them.
Why? Well, valuable things are worth fighting for...right?
So, if fighting is a part of every healthy and normal relationship, how can we fight well?
Let me use an analogy: Tennis
A tennis match is only good when the ball is hit back and forth.
Without a volley back and forth, it’s not a really a good game; it’s only a series of serves.
Think about it...what tennis highlights get featured on ESPN? It’s the long and dramatic vollies where both players keep making incredible hits and saves until finally—after a long time—someone finally misses the ball, or it’s outside of the lines. Even so, unless the match is over, they grab another ball and start again.
So, what can we learn from tennis that can enable us to have healthier conflict in our relationships?
First: Keep the Ball Moving
Just engage and “hit” the ball your partner vollies to your side of the court. Your volley doesn’t have to be perfect. Just try. Make contact. Be intent on doing everything you can to keep the “ball” (conversation) going.
Second: Stay on the Court
Walking away—every time—or deflecting or laughing it off or anything else one does to consistently avoid conflict is unkind, unhelpful, and unproductive. It’s impossible to have a volley if the other person is no longer on the other side of the court.
Third: Hit the Ball as Gently as Possible
If one is intent on a consistent and productive volley—and not total victory—then one must refrain from hitting the ball at the other person as hard as possible! Doing so may “break” your opponent and win the point, but result in one losing the game.
#marriage #fighting #arguments #relationships #conflict #marriageadvice #marriage #marriage
