Uploaded August 2018 | Updated September 2026, 1 week ago

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Another work of song parody idiocy featuring Randy Newman's satirical take on prejudice, "Short People".

I’m sure Meeples got no reason
I’m sure Meeples got no reason
I’m sure Meeples got no reason
To exist

They got no hands
And they got no eyes
I play with minis
And won’t compromise.
They got no noses
And they got no teeth
They don’t wear armor
And they got no feet

So, I won’t play with no sort of Meeples
Won’t play with no sort of Meeples
Won’t play with no sort of Meeples
Is that clear?

No, Meeples don’t play the same.
I know. I’ve tried.
Now I’ll tell you why.
Mini’s are cooler
And they’re totally fly
When you’re conquering worlds.

I’m sure Meeples want somebody
I’m sure Meeples want somebody
I’m sure Meeples want somebody
to love them

But Don’t look at me
Cuz I hate them so.
They might give me splinters
so, I just say “no”
They all hang out
with cows, pigs and sheep
Designers use them
Cuz they’re cheap, cheap, cheap.
Can’t tell where they’re headed
Cuz they got no behinds
Don’t waste your time, tryin’ to change my mind.

Cuz, I won’t play with no sort of Meeples
Won’t play with no sort of Meeples
Won’t play with no sort of Meeples
Is that clear?