Uploaded November 2022 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
Oh boy, we're coming out swinging today with another low effort parody song for the /mlp/ Secret Santa. I'm tempted to say something self deprecating about the vocals because they uh...well, you have ears, but what I'm actually going to do is give myself a big hoofbump and pat on the back for getting these out at all becuase this is just so, soooo out of my range. I ususally go from a B to a B, maybe a C on a good day, but by george I hit that high E at the end there. It's not pretty. And it isn't stable. But the tuner says that I'm inside of that note, so harumph. It's a win in my book!
mp3 available here: https://u.smutty.horse/mjzzkljviej.mp3
Pull out the Peanuts
Post up some memes before my spirit falls again
Spice up the season
We may be rushing things, but Chrimmus starts again now
For we need a little Horsemas
Right this very second
Funposting and jingle bells
At least that’s how I reckon,
Yes we need a little Horsemas
Right this very second
(I know you’re busy being furry
But Santa Pone we’re in a hurry!)
So write up a wishlist.
Wave to the neighbors, make some autistic OCs
Strike up a friendship
It’s time we had some laughter; join in you can see how
Because my heads a bit more silver
Every year that’s over
These pony threads are killer
It’s a miracle I’m sober
So I’m picking up my quill for
To write a little Poner
Need a little Horsemas now
Haul out the horsies
Haven’t I told you that you’re the most gorgeous thing?
Carols and stories
But auntie chuckles, it’s not even Halloween now
For we need a little Horsemas
Right this very second
Funposting and jingle bells
At least that’s how I reckon
Yes we need a little Horsemas
Right this very second
Rip poor Kiwi dead and buried
No time for that! We are in a hurry!
So write up some greentext
We’re sending gifts and letters all around the globe
This thread’s your pretext
To stay indoors and crafting when you ought to snowplow
For we need a little friendship,
Need a few more smiles,
Need a little merriment
To help us through life’s trials
And we need a little kinship
When the world is wild
Need a little Horsemas now
For we need a little Horsemas
Right this very second
Funposting and jingle bells
At least that’s how I reckon
Yes we need a little Horsemas
Right this very second
Need a little Horsemas now
We need a little Horsemas now
Oh boy, we're coming out swinging today with another low effort parody song for the /mlp/ Secret Santa. I'm tempted to say something self deprecating about the vocals because they uh...well, you have ears, but what I'm actually going to do is give myself a big hoofbump and pat on the back for getting these out at all becuase this is just so, soooo out of my range. I ususally go from a B to a B, maybe a C on a good day, but by george I hit that high E at the end there. It's not pretty. And it isn't stable. But the tuner says that I'm inside of that note, so harumph. It's a win in my book!
mp3 available here: https://u.smutty.horse/mjzzkljviej.mp3
Pull out the Peanuts
Post up some memes before my spirit falls again
Spice up the season
We may be rushing things, but Chrimmus starts again now
For we need a little Horsemas
Right this very second
Funposting and jingle bells
At least that’s how I reckon,
Yes we need a little Horsemas
Right this very second
(I know you’re busy being furry
But Santa Pone we’re in a hurry!)
So write up a wishlist.
Wave to the neighbors, make some autistic OCs
Strike up a friendship
It’s time we had some laughter; join in you can see how
Because my heads a bit more silver
Every year that’s over
These pony threads are killer
It’s a miracle I’m sober
So I’m picking up my quill for
To write a little Poner
Need a little Horsemas now
Haul out the horsies
Haven’t I told you that you’re the most gorgeous thing?
Carols and stories
But auntie chuckles, it’s not even Halloween now
For we need a little Horsemas
Right this very second
Funposting and jingle bells
At least that’s how I reckon
Yes we need a little Horsemas
Right this very second
Rip poor Kiwi dead and buried
No time for that! We are in a hurry!
So write up some greentext
We’re sending gifts and letters all around the globe
This thread’s your pretext
To stay indoors and crafting when you ought to snowplow
For we need a little friendship,
Need a few more smiles,
Need a little merriment
To help us through life’s trials
And we need a little kinship
When the world is wild
Need a little Horsemas now
For we need a little Horsemas
Right this very second
Funposting and jingle bells
At least that’s how I reckon
Yes we need a little Horsemas
Right this very second
Need a little Horsemas now
We need a little Horsemas now
![Biggest Dog on the Block - MLP Holiday Parody Music [Explicit Lyrics]](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/ojq6OvRCYNU/mqdefault.jpg "Biggest Dog on the Block - MLP Holiday Parody Music [Explicit Lyrics]
Done for the 2022 /mlp/ Secret Santa and set in the Neighborhood shared universe, this story sees a reformed Mr. Paw fall back on some old habits when it comes time to convince the other Diamond Dogs to show a little Hearths Warming cheer. He might be getting on in years a bit, but, well, you read the title. A parody of Slum Chemist by Vinnie Paz.
Mr. Paw artwork was decapitated from a beautiful piece by Fannytastical, go stare in awe at her lovely talents.
Used this instrumental beat over here so do all the nice things to them: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jeDqH1_I8E
mp3 available to download here: https://u.smutty.horse/mjsvvgdffsz.mp3
The dogs of the under bark
The diamond king
Pizza cutter bad beast
I like that y’all consider me the bad dog
Slap box everywhere, splinters when I smash rocks
My blood beastmode, never need to trash talk
And Ima door breaker; tearing out your padlocks
You live in fuckin Underbark and snap claws
Your paws too short to touch stars; that’s raw
So watch a big mouth turn into a cracked jaw
Watch a big house turned into a trash spot
Hit ‘em with the double barrel brass shot
I’m the kettle, and I’m callin out the black pots
I’m the old hat bastard in a past walk
Run faster if I catch ya it’s a wrap doc
Blow the mic out and barking when I blast vox
I sip scotch, set the volume up to CAPSLOCK
Forty years and never opened up my cashbox
Who’s your ghost of Chrimmus present, bitches THAT’S PAW.
It’s Mr P; I’m the biggest dog on the block
It’s Mr P; ain’t no one can fuck with the bark
It’s Mr P; you should never fuck with the geezer
It’s Mr P; toss ya and I’ll box ya like peetzer
It’s Mr P; I’m the biggest dog on the block
It’s Mr P; ain’t no one can fuck with the bark
It’s Mr P; you should never fuck with the geezer
It’s Mr P; toss ya and I’ll box ya like peetzer
These are borderline coroner rhymes
Take a piss on the corner so all the other dogs know it’s mine
It’s Hearths Warming Time
Ordinary words don’t apply
Your grampa Paw, Krampus with a forty and nine
A forty of shine, and keep the bottle in my pocket
Knockin on my balls, so when I’m thirsty I can cock it
Pups can fuckin talk the game, but I already walked it
Preaching in the desert like a motherfuckin prophet
If you think you got the gospel then you need the truth
If you think you gonna scare me then you meet the brute
It’s Hearths Warm all year; I never need a truce
I bring the winter pony party; I don’t need to shoot
This year? It’s a miracle for Chompy too,
Sentimental, cute, if you don’t’n I’ll be chomping you
I never ran in my life, I got my walking shoes
You gonna drop a little cheer, or am I dropping you?
It’s Mr P; I’m the biggest dog on the block
It’s Mr P; ain’t no one can fuck with the bark
It’s Mr P; you should never fuck with the geezer
It’s Mr P; toss ya and I’ll box ya like peetzer
It’s Mr P; I’m the biggest dog on the block
It’s Mr P; ain’t no one can fuck with the bark
It’s Mr P; you should never fuck with the geezer
It’s Mr P; toss ya and I’ll box ya like peetzer
Hearths Warming 2022. It’s a time for love and cheer or swear to fuck I’m coming for you.")
