Katherine Pulkrab | Multifandom | hard sometimes @KatherinePulkrab | Uploaded 2 years ago | Updated 2 hours ago
•Thank you for watching•
Trigger warning: video expresses depression, sadness and few signs of SH thinking
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But life
Just seems to happen right before my eyes
'Cause I feel like I'm not there
'Cause my head is up somewhere
Far away from all my friends
I just want that back again
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•Hello!

This might be very confusing video for most of you so let me explain. I struggle a lot of with mental health and there were few lines in tv shows that spoke to me and I've always wanted to make personal video that would potray me. But I am a perfectionist and I felt like I never had enough perfect quotes for the video so I never started until yesterday when I felt really bad and I really needed to channel my feelings somewhere.

I decided to drop disability as something I also wanted to portray as it is a big part of my life and just go with the flow. That's why there are so many feelings rather than just one and it probably won't make sense to many.
Hard sometimes is a song that speaks to me a lot but because of the voiceovers I decided to use just instrumental version still I recommend everyone to listen to it.

If someone is interested I will write down feelings I tried to put there. There are a lot of contrasting feelings because my life is a like a wave and one day I feel somehow and other day it's completely different.

I just wanted to tell everyone "STAY" and give you an online hug because you all deserve it and if you find yourself struggling I hope you have someone by your side that helps you and you are not afraid to reach out (like me). I just hope you manage to get thru the hard today and be here again tomorrow. I believe you are strong and you can do it and you won't suffer that much anymore in a near future. I am sorry for not ending this video on better note but I wanted this to be a realistic potrayal of how I feel right now.

Feelings in the video:
- Wanting to have someone who wants us to stay
- If having somebody not believing their feelings and not thinking they should be around you (thinking you are too much or not enough at the same time)
- Still begging them to stay and offer to do anything (put them above yourself)
- Seeing them go
- Not being anyone's first choice
- Isolating yourself but suffering when you are alone
- Blaming yourself
- Hating yourself
- Bending under the pressure
- Feeling stuck

okay that's it, like I said and tried to express I am not in the best mood so I don't know how it's going to be with my videos but I am just gonna go with the flow of my inspiration and time...

Stay safe and STAY!,
with love Kate ♥

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•And if you like it subscribe me please: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOuE​...
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•Song: PM me on twitter (katepulkrab) •
•Coloring: kindon18•
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•Thanks for watching•
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