Uploaded January 2015 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
Your Guide to Peace and Well- Being
What’s In the Way IS the Way
Moving Beyond Your Struggle Into the Joy of Being Fully Alive
Mary O'Malley
maryomalley.com whatsinthewayistheway.com
This interview is an invitation to go on the most important journey you will ever take: the journey back to a heartfelt connection with yourself and a trust-filled connection with your life. This journey will show you that there is a sense of well-being with you always, no matter what is happening in your life.
If you are like most people, you have only sporadic glimpses of the well-being that is your birthright. This may be because you, like most everyone else, have a deep belief inside of you that says you are not enough. You may have also been conditioned to believe that if you just fix yourself or your life, you will be enough and thus know the peace you long for. So you have become an ongoing project, believing that if you just get yourself and your life to be a particular way, then you will be happy. This causes you to struggle with your compulsions, your finances, your relationships, and your health. Rather than peace and joy, you may very well be living in a low grade sense of unease that periodically flares up and plunges you into turmoil. So your life has become a series of problems to be solved rather than an adventure to be lived! If you are honest with yourself, you would recognize that this fixing game has never brought you the deep healing you long for. But don’t despair. There truly is another way to live that will permeate your life with well-being.
It is important for you to understand that I too lived from this place of struggle for many years, so I intimately know the deep pain and heartache that comes from the fix-it mode. I was very compulsive, at times suicidal, and felt that I had no value. Most of the time, I experienced a sense of unease, and oftentimes it would flare up into dread and hopeless despair. These feelings would show up as relentless struggles in my head. They also appeared as an overall anxiousness that created knots in my stomach and debilitating headaches that came from an intense longing to run away from my life. I gained a huge amount of weight, washed a lot of the food down with alcohol, and took every pill I could get my hands on.
Since I perceived myself as defective, I tried to get rid of the parts of me I didn’t like and hold onto the ones I did. But these parts seemed to have a life of their own, appearing when I didn’t want them to be here and disappearing when I wanted them to stay. I also desperately tried to understand it all, but that just kept me caught in my head.
It wasn’t until I discovered how to listen to myself that I began to open up again. Rather than always being in fix-it mode, I learned how to meet myself exactly as I am, opening into the place beyond judging, fixing, getting rid of, and trying to understand. I learned that listening is the art of being present for my own experience, no matter what it is. Most of all, it is the art of meeting myself in my own heart – even the so-called unacceptable, unmeetable parts.
Slowly, just as the morning light dispels the dark, I came back to myself and back to Life. Rather than being in a constant state of unease, I came to know more and more joy, trust and love. I also discovered how to show up for the great adventure called Life – not an idea of what it should be, but the real thing. Rather than always trying to create a better reality, I showed up for Reality!
This is what you deeply long for – an intimate connection with yourself and with Life. At your core, you yearn to show up for what Life is offering in this moment rather than wanting your experience to be different than it is. You long to let go of trying, resisting, and constantly evaluating how you are doing, so you can relax into your life and know the joy of being fully available and present for Life. Discover how to be curious about what you are experiencing in this moment and Life will bring you home.
Your Guide to Peace and Well- Being
What’s In the Way IS the Way
Moving Beyond Your Struggle Into the Joy of Being Fully Alive
Mary O'Malley
maryomalley.com whatsinthewayistheway.com
This interview is an invitation to go on the most important journey you will ever take: the journey back to a heartfelt connection with yourself and a trust-filled connection with your life. This journey will show you that there is a sense of well-being with you always, no matter what is happening in your life.
If you are like most people, you have only sporadic glimpses of the well-being that is your birthright. This may be because you, like most everyone else, have a deep belief inside of you that says you are not enough. You may have also been conditioned to believe that if you just fix yourself or your life, you will be enough and thus know the peace you long for. So you have become an ongoing project, believing that if you just get yourself and your life to be a particular way, then you will be happy. This causes you to struggle with your compulsions, your finances, your relationships, and your health. Rather than peace and joy, you may very well be living in a low grade sense of unease that periodically flares up and plunges you into turmoil. So your life has become a series of problems to be solved rather than an adventure to be lived! If you are honest with yourself, you would recognize that this fixing game has never brought you the deep healing you long for. But don’t despair. There truly is another way to live that will permeate your life with well-being.
It is important for you to understand that I too lived from this place of struggle for many years, so I intimately know the deep pain and heartache that comes from the fix-it mode. I was very compulsive, at times suicidal, and felt that I had no value. Most of the time, I experienced a sense of unease, and oftentimes it would flare up into dread and hopeless despair. These feelings would show up as relentless struggles in my head. They also appeared as an overall anxiousness that created knots in my stomach and debilitating headaches that came from an intense longing to run away from my life. I gained a huge amount of weight, washed a lot of the food down with alcohol, and took every pill I could get my hands on.
Since I perceived myself as defective, I tried to get rid of the parts of me I didn’t like and hold onto the ones I did. But these parts seemed to have a life of their own, appearing when I didn’t want them to be here and disappearing when I wanted them to stay. I also desperately tried to understand it all, but that just kept me caught in my head.
It wasn’t until I discovered how to listen to myself that I began to open up again. Rather than always being in fix-it mode, I learned how to meet myself exactly as I am, opening into the place beyond judging, fixing, getting rid of, and trying to understand. I learned that listening is the art of being present for my own experience, no matter what it is. Most of all, it is the art of meeting myself in my own heart – even the so-called unacceptable, unmeetable parts.
Slowly, just as the morning light dispels the dark, I came back to myself and back to Life. Rather than being in a constant state of unease, I came to know more and more joy, trust and love. I also discovered how to show up for the great adventure called Life – not an idea of what it should be, but the real thing. Rather than always trying to create a better reality, I showed up for Reality!
This is what you deeply long for – an intimate connection with yourself and with Life. At your core, you yearn to show up for what Life is offering in this moment rather than wanting your experience to be different than it is. You long to let go of trying, resisting, and constantly evaluating how you are doing, so you can relax into your life and know the joy of being fully available and present for Life. Discover how to be curious about what you are experiencing in this moment and Life will bring you home.
