Uploaded October 2021 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
Making friends in publishing! Writer and author friendships! So complicated! A bit scary. I'm sharing a LOT of thoughts on how to find and make writer friends, pitfalls of friendship, social climbing, performative friendships, and more.
Yes it's long AF. But I filmed it in parts and it's divided up so it's easy to jump around!
00:00 Introduction
00:51 Part 1 Why Friendship in Publishing is Complicated
03:41 Friendly networking vs friends
05:33 Part 2 Pitfalls of Friendship
09:08 We can't all get along
11:24 When friendships organically change/end
13:22 New friends at new levels
15:18 Publishing can change people
18:18 Part 3 Finding and making friends
22:37 The brave approach & staying open
27:09 Advice for agented/published authors
31:41 Part 4 Publishing is High School
35:42 You can opt out but
36:57 Gossip
40:13 The dreaded group chat
44:22 Better not to subtweet
48:07 Part 5 Social Climbing
50:18 Best practices for not being a jerk
55:18 Part 6 Performative Friendships
59:42 Part 7 Toxic & Bad Actors
01:02:50 Idea stealers
01:05:30 Conclusion
Add The Ivies on Goodreads! goodreads.com/book/show/48896122-the-ivies
Add Murder, She Texted on Goodreads: goodreads.com/book/show/57121698-murder-she-texted
+BUY MY BOOKS+
Buy The Ivies from your favorite book retailer!: bit.ly/3mkxyYj
Buy The Stars We Steal from Book Depository (ships worldwide!): bookdepository.com/Stars-We-Steal-Alexa-Donne/9781328948946?ref=grid-view&qid=1603728315664&sr=1-3
Buy Brightly Burning from Book Depository (ships worldwide!): bookdepository.com/Brightly-Burning-Alexa-Donne/9781785659423
Buy BRIGHTLY BURNING on Amazon: amazon.com/Brightly-Burning-Alexa-Donne/dp/1328948935/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1500334638&sr=1-1
Get Brightly Burning on Audible.com! audible.com/pd/Brightly-Burning-Audiobook/B07H41CPVC?asin=B07H41CPVC&source_code=AUDOR2220912189OII
+LINKS+
Goodreads:
goodreads.com/author/show/16817128.Alexa_Donne
Twitter:
twitter.com/alexadonne
Instagram:
instagram.com/alexadonne
Newsletter Sign-Up:
alexadonne.com/newsletter
Website:
alexadonne.com
Wattpad:
wattpad.com/user/alexadonne
+FILMING SPECS+
Camera: Canon t6i
Mic: Rode VideoMic Pro+
Lighting: Limo Studio Soft Kit
Editing Software: Magix Movie Edit Pro
Making friends in publishing! Writer and author friendships! So complicated! A bit scary. I'm sharing a LOT of thoughts on how to find and make writer friends, pitfalls of friendship, social climbing, performative friendships, and more.
Yes it's long AF. But I filmed it in parts and it's divided up so it's easy to jump around!
00:00 Introduction
00:51 Part 1 Why Friendship in Publishing is Complicated
03:41 Friendly networking vs friends
05:33 Part 2 Pitfalls of Friendship
09:08 We can't all get along
11:24 When friendships organically change/end
13:22 New friends at new levels
15:18 Publishing can change people
18:18 Part 3 Finding and making friends
22:37 The brave approach & staying open
27:09 Advice for agented/published authors
31:41 Part 4 Publishing is High School
35:42 You can opt out but
36:57 Gossip
40:13 The dreaded group chat
44:22 Better not to subtweet
48:07 Part 5 Social Climbing
50:18 Best practices for not being a jerk
55:18 Part 6 Performative Friendships
59:42 Part 7 Toxic & Bad Actors
01:02:50 Idea stealers
01:05:30 Conclusion
Add The Ivies on Goodreads! goodreads.com/book/show/48896122-the-ivies
Add Murder, She Texted on Goodreads: goodreads.com/book/show/57121698-murder-she-texted
+BUY MY BOOKS+
Buy The Ivies from your favorite book retailer!: bit.ly/3mkxyYj
Buy The Stars We Steal from Book Depository (ships worldwide!): bookdepository.com/Stars-We-Steal-Alexa-Donne/9781328948946?ref=grid-view&qid=1603728315664&sr=1-3
Buy Brightly Burning from Book Depository (ships worldwide!): bookdepository.com/Brightly-Burning-Alexa-Donne/9781785659423
Buy BRIGHTLY BURNING on Amazon: amazon.com/Brightly-Burning-Alexa-Donne/dp/1328948935/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1500334638&sr=1-1
Get Brightly Burning on Audible.com! audible.com/pd/Brightly-Burning-Audiobook/B07H41CPVC?asin=B07H41CPVC&source_code=AUDOR2220912189OII
+LINKS+
Goodreads:
goodreads.com/author/show/16817128.Alexa_Donne
Twitter:
twitter.com/alexadonne
Instagram:
instagram.com/alexadonne
Newsletter Sign-Up:
alexadonne.com/newsletter
Website:
alexadonne.com
Wattpad:
wattpad.com/user/alexadonne
+FILMING SPECS+
Camera: Canon t6i
Mic: Rode VideoMic Pro+
Lighting: Limo Studio Soft Kit
Editing Software: Magix Movie Edit Pro
