Uploaded June 2021 | Updated September 2026, 14 hours ago

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I know it seems kinda pompous to call this a "short film" as it's just three shots with nothing happening, but that's what it is I guess. If someone lets me know what else I should call it, then I'll change it.

Well if you've come here to the description, allow me to give you more backstory on this bridge. I'm gonna be talking about suicide pretty heavily, so here's your content warning.
As stated in the video, this bridge is a place I've come to multiple times in my life to debate suicide. I've always said that I've only ever truly attempted once in my life, but when I revisited this bridge to make this video, it was in that moment that I realized that every single time I came to this bridge (yes, including this occasion), it was a suicide attempt. Because every time I went there, it was with the intention with giving myself a place to kill myself. Like there's no sugar coating this, that's what it was. I honestly thought that 2014 was the last time I did this, but I kept going there in 2015 too (discovered that based on my photographs as I always took my camera with me). There's probably a lot of dates that I missed when I visited this bridge, but my memory of 2012 to 2015 is so foggy. I am terrified of this bridge. Even just driving over it gives me anxiety. And yes I know. The bridge's drop is not that far, and it would not kill me. But the undercurrents from the river probably would (which is why diving off of it is prohibited because people have died jumping off of it).

The video's angle is set up to be my height basically, so you are literally looking at this from my point of view, and that's my goal with this video. I want to put you in my shoes for a moment. That lost feeling of just staring out at the empty waters with nothing in your soul. That's why nothing happens, nothing is supposed to happen in these moments. You are still and silent, but deep inside, you are rotting. Your mind is splintering from the inside, but no one sees that. No one feels it, no one acknowledges it. It's just you, the water, the sun, the trees, the insects. You feel nothing, which is why you want to escape because you want to feel something again, anything. Hopefully I have conveyed that with the cinematography, color, and music. If not, then I guess I can't quite get my vision across. That's not your fault.

I made this to feel less alone, to share my experience with someone else. What it's like to come to this place and desire death. Because I come here and want to kill myself because I am alone.

Thanks for reading if you did. And thanks for watching if you managed to.

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