Uploaded May 2026 | Updated September 2026, 2 weeks ago
In Part 2 of our series on Seventh-day Adventism, Melissa Spiers shares her personal story of growing up as a fourth-generation Adventist in a deeply religious family shaped by strict lifestyle rules, purity culture, and constant pressure to perform spiritually.
Melissa describes her experience navigating SDA education systems, thought control, and the intense expectations placed on young women within the church. She also discusses her eventual move away from Adventism, and the complicated relationship between religion, identity, and personal freedom.
Another major focus of this episode is Melissa’s discovery of abuse within her own family, the response from Seventh-day Adventist leadership, and the broader systems she believes protect abuse within high-control religious institutions. She shares how these experiences affected her relationships, mental health, and eventual religious deconstruction.
Throughout the conversation, Melissa reflects on healing, rebuilding life outside of religion, and the challenges many people face after leaving high-demand faith communities. We also discuss her new memoir, "Holy Disobedience: Sex, Sin, and Secrets in the Biggest Church No One Knows".
You can purchase her memoir here: lakedrivebooks.com/books/holy-disobedience
Show notes can be found on the Mormon Stories blog here: mormonstories.org/leaving-the-seventh-day-adventist-church
Timecodes:
00:00:00 - Recap and overview
00:03:44 - Melissa’s intentions & disclaimers
00:18:15 - Thought/emotion control as a kid
00:28:22 - Purity culture teachings
00:32:45 - Three “indoctrinization” sessions a day
00:47:26 - Her mom pulled our out of school
00:50:09 - Decided to be an actor
00:55:59 - Marriage to controlling man
01:01:18 - Found out her dad was a child abuser
01:09:46 - Confronting her parents
01:15:16 - Sharing her story for other ex-Adventists
01:20:09 - Speaking to her father’s abuse victim
01:24:53 - Finding religious deconstruction communities
01:31:53 - Lawsuit against the SDS
01:33:41 - Family relationships now
01:45:10 - When not to leave religion
01:58:09 - Key pillars to healing
02:11:14 - Final questions
02:15:41 - Conclusion
___________________
At Mormon Stories we explore, celebrate, and challenge Mormon culture through in-depth stories told by members and former members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as well as scholars, authors, LDS apologists, and other professionals.
Our overall mission is to:
1. Facilitate informed consent amongst LDS Church members, investigators, and non-members regarding Mormon history, doctrine, and theology
2. Support Mormons (and members of other high-demand religions) who are experiencing a religious faith crisis
3. Promote healing, growth and community for those who choose to leave the LDS Church or other high demand religions
🤝Help us continue to deliver quality content by becoming a donor today
One-time or recurring donations: donorbox.org/mormon-stories?default_interval=m
Patreon: patreon.com/mormonstories
Venmo: account.venmo.com/u/mormonstories
Paypal: paypal.me/mormonstories
Join this channel to get access to perks:
youtube.com/channel/UCx6OgmoqJbOVRq-Lv1P7SzA/join
Our Platforms:
🌐Mormon Stories Blog: mormonstories.org/episodes
🎙️Patreon: patreon.com/mormonstories
✳️Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/4sDzk7dRjODTSEqzZKZJzk?si=148b0efc1ccc4404&nd=1
🍎Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mormon-stories-lds/id312094772
🖼️Instagram: instagram.com/mormstories
📱TikTok: tiktok.com/@mormonstoriespodcast
🎮Discord: discord.com/invite/kuX5p6yyjF
Contact us:
📧 MormonStories@gmail.com
📬PO Box 171085, Salt Lake City, UT 84117
In Part 2 of our series on Seventh-day Adventism, Melissa Spiers shares her personal story of growing up as a fourth-generation Adventist in a deeply religious family shaped by strict lifestyle rules, purity culture, and constant pressure to perform spiritually.
Melissa describes her experience navigating SDA education systems, thought control, and the intense expectations placed on young women within the church. She also discusses her eventual move away from Adventism, and the complicated relationship between religion, identity, and personal freedom.
Another major focus of this episode is Melissa’s discovery of abuse within her own family, the response from Seventh-day Adventist leadership, and the broader systems she believes protect abuse within high-control religious institutions. She shares how these experiences affected her relationships, mental health, and eventual religious deconstruction.
Throughout the conversation, Melissa reflects on healing, rebuilding life outside of religion, and the challenges many people face after leaving high-demand faith communities. We also discuss her new memoir, "Holy Disobedience: Sex, Sin, and Secrets in the Biggest Church No One Knows".
You can purchase her memoir here: lakedrivebooks.com/books/holy-disobedience
Show notes can be found on the Mormon Stories blog here: mormonstories.org/leaving-the-seventh-day-adventist-church
Timecodes:
00:00:00 - Recap and overview
00:03:44 - Melissa’s intentions & disclaimers
00:18:15 - Thought/emotion control as a kid
00:28:22 - Purity culture teachings
00:32:45 - Three “indoctrinization” sessions a day
00:47:26 - Her mom pulled our out of school
00:50:09 - Decided to be an actor
00:55:59 - Marriage to controlling man
01:01:18 - Found out her dad was a child abuser
01:09:46 - Confronting her parents
01:15:16 - Sharing her story for other ex-Adventists
01:20:09 - Speaking to her father’s abuse victim
01:24:53 - Finding religious deconstruction communities
01:31:53 - Lawsuit against the SDS
01:33:41 - Family relationships now
01:45:10 - When not to leave religion
01:58:09 - Key pillars to healing
02:11:14 - Final questions
02:15:41 - Conclusion
___________________
At Mormon Stories we explore, celebrate, and challenge Mormon culture through in-depth stories told by members and former members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as well as scholars, authors, LDS apologists, and other professionals.
Our overall mission is to:
1. Facilitate informed consent amongst LDS Church members, investigators, and non-members regarding Mormon history, doctrine, and theology
2. Support Mormons (and members of other high-demand religions) who are experiencing a religious faith crisis
3. Promote healing, growth and community for those who choose to leave the LDS Church or other high demand religions
🤝Help us continue to deliver quality content by becoming a donor today
One-time or recurring donations: donorbox.org/mormon-stories?default_interval=m
Patreon: patreon.com/mormonstories
Venmo: account.venmo.com/u/mormonstories
Paypal: paypal.me/mormonstories
Join this channel to get access to perks:
youtube.com/channel/UCx6OgmoqJbOVRq-Lv1P7SzA/join
Our Platforms:
🌐Mormon Stories Blog: mormonstories.org/episodes
🎙️Patreon: patreon.com/mormonstories
✳️Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/4sDzk7dRjODTSEqzZKZJzk?si=148b0efc1ccc4404&nd=1
🍎Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/mormon-stories-lds/id312094772
🖼️Instagram: instagram.com/mormstories
📱TikTok: tiktok.com/@mormonstoriespodcast
🎮Discord: discord.com/invite/kuX5p6yyjF
Contact us:
📧 MormonStories@gmail.com
📬PO Box 171085, Salt Lake City, UT 84117
