Uploaded June 2023 | Updated September 2026, 3 weeks ago
A Very Long, and Atypical Video Description from chemistryguy:
When I started posting YouTube Poops some 13 years ago, I was in a bad place. Our daughter hadn't yet been admitted to pediatric hospice, but we knew she was living on borrowed time even before she was born. A host of physical problems, congenital heart defects and an incomplete pulmonary system being most serious, meant that I'd gone from being a dad to a dad of a terminally ill child.
This closed me off more than even my usual self, ignoring everyone and everything around me. I was incapable of communicating what was going on inside my head.
YouTube Poop seemed the correct response to a world that made no sense. It took the chaos inside and not only gave it an outlet, but allowed me to entertain others in the process.
It didn't take long for me to turn making them into an addiction. Releasing videos came with dopamine hits in the form of positive feedback from the ytp community. I made it my mission to produce quality content on a regular basis. I also strove to mainstream ytp. To get it in front of a larger audience. To normalize it, and in the process, normalize myself.
I put in long hours, ignoring work and family in order to fulfill my needs. I understood on some level that it wasn't healthy and subsequently retired. Many times, to the point where it became a running gag. Time and again I returned to Blue's Clues, and more precisely, one specific episode of Blue's Clues.
There's much to be said about Joe's First Day (alternate title Joe and Tell). Of all the episodes I've watched with my kids, this one strikes a deep emotional chord. In simplest terms, the episode is about coping with a loss in one's life. Steve, our steadfast, thoughtful companion is going away. Taking over his unfillable role is the outsider, Joe. Steve does his damnedest to sell Joe up, but it's a great loss just the same. We get a glimpse of grief.
I've been holding up a distorted mirror to all of this. Joe is portrayed as a demon, hiding just outside the door, or an unstoppable force of nature. I've done my best to take my audience on an emotional journey. Perhaps I was also unconsciously trying to work out my own feelings about loss and grief as well.
Through the help of therapy, the love of a wonderful woman, and a helluva lot of hard work I'm in a much better place. My daughter is still dying. Still losing a bit more each day. It's still a struggle to pretend to be an adult and do what needs getting done sometimes. Grief is an ever present companion in our home, but I've learned there is much to gain from acknowledging the pain instead of always hiding from it.
I'm not going away to college on a cartoon bus, but I can't picture the next time I'd work so hard on one of these videos. I made this one because of new available technology. Blue's Clues has always been my source of choice for experimentation. I wasn't going to half ass it. AI is only going to get better, and the dreamlike quality will likely be a relic of the early versions of this tech. I couldn't not take advantage of this small window of opportunity to merge the worlds of ytp and AI.
In closing, you've been a great bunch. Some of you watching my shit as kids are now adults. That's insane. In what I've gleaned over the years interacting with this community, I got a sense of some of the struggles you guys face. The circumstances are all different, but we're fighting our own demons. Some even have Joe's face.
Just remember none of us have it figured out. Least of all the ones pretending that they do.
Take it easy on yourself. Fucking things up, even daily, does NOT make you a fuck up.
Stay true and stay Blue!
cg
Preemptive questions/answers:
1. How did you make this piece of shit?
Runway Gen 1 and 2
D-ID Studio
Sony Vegas Pro 14 (but of course)
2. What's that song?
Everybody's Talkin' - Harry Nilsson
Nature Boy - Nat King Cole
A Very Long, and Atypical Video Description from chemistryguy:
When I started posting YouTube Poops some 13 years ago, I was in a bad place. Our daughter hadn't yet been admitted to pediatric hospice, but we knew she was living on borrowed time even before she was born. A host of physical problems, congenital heart defects and an incomplete pulmonary system being most serious, meant that I'd gone from being a dad to a dad of a terminally ill child.
This closed me off more than even my usual self, ignoring everyone and everything around me. I was incapable of communicating what was going on inside my head.
YouTube Poop seemed the correct response to a world that made no sense. It took the chaos inside and not only gave it an outlet, but allowed me to entertain others in the process.
It didn't take long for me to turn making them into an addiction. Releasing videos came with dopamine hits in the form of positive feedback from the ytp community. I made it my mission to produce quality content on a regular basis. I also strove to mainstream ytp. To get it in front of a larger audience. To normalize it, and in the process, normalize myself.
I put in long hours, ignoring work and family in order to fulfill my needs. I understood on some level that it wasn't healthy and subsequently retired. Many times, to the point where it became a running gag. Time and again I returned to Blue's Clues, and more precisely, one specific episode of Blue's Clues.
There's much to be said about Joe's First Day (alternate title Joe and Tell). Of all the episodes I've watched with my kids, this one strikes a deep emotional chord. In simplest terms, the episode is about coping with a loss in one's life. Steve, our steadfast, thoughtful companion is going away. Taking over his unfillable role is the outsider, Joe. Steve does his damnedest to sell Joe up, but it's a great loss just the same. We get a glimpse of grief.
I've been holding up a distorted mirror to all of this. Joe is portrayed as a demon, hiding just outside the door, or an unstoppable force of nature. I've done my best to take my audience on an emotional journey. Perhaps I was also unconsciously trying to work out my own feelings about loss and grief as well.
Through the help of therapy, the love of a wonderful woman, and a helluva lot of hard work I'm in a much better place. My daughter is still dying. Still losing a bit more each day. It's still a struggle to pretend to be an adult and do what needs getting done sometimes. Grief is an ever present companion in our home, but I've learned there is much to gain from acknowledging the pain instead of always hiding from it.
I'm not going away to college on a cartoon bus, but I can't picture the next time I'd work so hard on one of these videos. I made this one because of new available technology. Blue's Clues has always been my source of choice for experimentation. I wasn't going to half ass it. AI is only going to get better, and the dreamlike quality will likely be a relic of the early versions of this tech. I couldn't not take advantage of this small window of opportunity to merge the worlds of ytp and AI.
In closing, you've been a great bunch. Some of you watching my shit as kids are now adults. That's insane. In what I've gleaned over the years interacting with this community, I got a sense of some of the struggles you guys face. The circumstances are all different, but we're fighting our own demons. Some even have Joe's face.
Just remember none of us have it figured out. Least of all the ones pretending that they do.
Take it easy on yourself. Fucking things up, even daily, does NOT make you a fuck up.
Stay true and stay Blue!
cg
Preemptive questions/answers:
1. How did you make this piece of shit?
Runway Gen 1 and 2
D-ID Studio
Sony Vegas Pro 14 (but of course)
2. What's that song?
Everybody's Talkin' - Harry Nilsson
Nature Boy - Nat King Cole
