Uploaded January 2018 | Updated September 2026, 1 week ago
Table of contents:
Chapter I: 1:40 The three trials - how to deal with and improve upon the various disabilities and visual deficits of mine
Chapter II: 17:15 Decades of bad experiences thanks to my deficits
Chapter III: 36:31 Some ideas on how to turn things around
Chapter IV: 41:47 Girlfriend - Mission Impossible while being different and ridden with deficits?
Chapter V: 57:29 The concept of equalizers to get one final, fair chance.
Just a brief comment on that Logan Paul incident: just as I finished this video, I read about that YouTube ‘star’ and his special sort of ‘humor’. As a guy suffering from terminal cancer, who has to think about possible euthanasia options, I’m just shocked and disgusted by this. I’ll talk about this a bit more in my next video as it’s going to be a more negative one, filled with very serious problems and obstacles, with me having trouble to keep going because of the grim nature not only of my disease, but all other circumstances as well.
This ‘star’ might have indirectly vanquished my chances of getting somewhere in Japan because I’ll be reliant on the support of the Japanese Government as well as local enterprises sooner or later. It’s not too far fetched to anticipate that they will enforce a much more restrictive policy regarding folks that are planning to become a vlogger in Japan after this. It might be childish of me, but since this isn’t the first time for such ‘mishaps’ by big names in the YouTube business, I can’t help but feel really angry that people like these bath in success, popularity and financial means while serious, honest and nice folks are getting absolutely no where. And with this we are at the core of what this video is about.
I’m talking about my visual deficits due to all the diseases and disabilities that I had to gather all my life. These deficits present major obstacles in the modern world, where barely anyone invests time to get to know people anymore, where first glance impressions are decisive in almost all cases. Be it on the Internet or in real life. And this applies to friends, girlfriends, jobs and in my case, even family.
Now a lot of my issues could be fixed or at least covered up with a bit of support and financial aid. I received quite a beating already but I’m not too sick yet, there is still a chance to make up for some portions of my trashed life as I’m not expecting any miracles. So I keep on fighting, hoping. Despite all setbacks I’m still not willing to give up, but it’s getting tougher by the week.
In the past videos I concentrated mostly on material things. That was because they are easier to achieve with some support. A drivers license, a car, a small house - you can easily predict what you need to pay and do to get and hold onto them for a year, maybe two. With these prerequisites in place, I want to have one final go at social life, even girlfriends, before I’m going down. While I’m still a virgin being 37 years old, it’s not concerning me that much. I’m looking for a serious and mutual relationship. Since I lost my whole family with the breakup of my parents, I would be really happy if I would get the chance of getting accepted into a new family but I guess this will be near to impossible. This probably sounds totally crazy but that’s just the result of my past life which was and still is a sad affair at best. Now people like Logan Paul could engage in some more serious stuff like trying to lend people like me a hand, offering some guidance. But with boring endeavors like this you won’t be getting millions of views unfortunately.
Of course, social matters can’t be predicted or calculated, but due to my experiences as well as the fact that it’s my last chance now, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll need a couple of equalizers, some remedying factors that will lower the difficulty level in the face of my physiological drawbacks. The material things, as well as improvements to my appearance, all of them are equalizers. Means to level the playing field so that I can stop trying to scale the Olympus Mons. I’ve tried it the hard way all my life and nothing worked out ever. Thanks to my cancer I’m even more of a freak now than before. I’m going to show you some pictures and videos of what I mean in the next video.
Hope to see you there.
Table of contents:
Chapter I: 1:40 The three trials - how to deal with and improve upon the various disabilities and visual deficits of mine
Chapter II: 17:15 Decades of bad experiences thanks to my deficits
Chapter III: 36:31 Some ideas on how to turn things around
Chapter IV: 41:47 Girlfriend - Mission Impossible while being different and ridden with deficits?
Chapter V: 57:29 The concept of equalizers to get one final, fair chance.
Just a brief comment on that Logan Paul incident: just as I finished this video, I read about that YouTube ‘star’ and his special sort of ‘humor’. As a guy suffering from terminal cancer, who has to think about possible euthanasia options, I’m just shocked and disgusted by this. I’ll talk about this a bit more in my next video as it’s going to be a more negative one, filled with very serious problems and obstacles, with me having trouble to keep going because of the grim nature not only of my disease, but all other circumstances as well.
This ‘star’ might have indirectly vanquished my chances of getting somewhere in Japan because I’ll be reliant on the support of the Japanese Government as well as local enterprises sooner or later. It’s not too far fetched to anticipate that they will enforce a much more restrictive policy regarding folks that are planning to become a vlogger in Japan after this. It might be childish of me, but since this isn’t the first time for such ‘mishaps’ by big names in the YouTube business, I can’t help but feel really angry that people like these bath in success, popularity and financial means while serious, honest and nice folks are getting absolutely no where. And with this we are at the core of what this video is about.
I’m talking about my visual deficits due to all the diseases and disabilities that I had to gather all my life. These deficits present major obstacles in the modern world, where barely anyone invests time to get to know people anymore, where first glance impressions are decisive in almost all cases. Be it on the Internet or in real life. And this applies to friends, girlfriends, jobs and in my case, even family.
Now a lot of my issues could be fixed or at least covered up with a bit of support and financial aid. I received quite a beating already but I’m not too sick yet, there is still a chance to make up for some portions of my trashed life as I’m not expecting any miracles. So I keep on fighting, hoping. Despite all setbacks I’m still not willing to give up, but it’s getting tougher by the week.
In the past videos I concentrated mostly on material things. That was because they are easier to achieve with some support. A drivers license, a car, a small house - you can easily predict what you need to pay and do to get and hold onto them for a year, maybe two. With these prerequisites in place, I want to have one final go at social life, even girlfriends, before I’m going down. While I’m still a virgin being 37 years old, it’s not concerning me that much. I’m looking for a serious and mutual relationship. Since I lost my whole family with the breakup of my parents, I would be really happy if I would get the chance of getting accepted into a new family but I guess this will be near to impossible. This probably sounds totally crazy but that’s just the result of my past life which was and still is a sad affair at best. Now people like Logan Paul could engage in some more serious stuff like trying to lend people like me a hand, offering some guidance. But with boring endeavors like this you won’t be getting millions of views unfortunately.
Of course, social matters can’t be predicted or calculated, but due to my experiences as well as the fact that it’s my last chance now, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll need a couple of equalizers, some remedying factors that will lower the difficulty level in the face of my physiological drawbacks. The material things, as well as improvements to my appearance, all of them are equalizers. Means to level the playing field so that I can stop trying to scale the Olympus Mons. I’ve tried it the hard way all my life and nothing worked out ever. Thanks to my cancer I’m even more of a freak now than before. I’m going to show you some pictures and videos of what I mean in the next video.
Hope to see you there.
