Uploaded March 2022 | Updated September 2026, 3 weeks ago

---

LYRICS:

SLAMming here,
I realize,
DK has no grace,
He has a funny face!

But who's to judge
The Donkey Kong?
When he fires in spurts,
I think we'll both agree

That walnuts breeds peanuts,
But in the end it has to JAM this way!

(Interlude filler)

Can pick up a boulder
With relative ease
Makes crushin' you such-a-breeze...

So listen up dudes,
th-this Kong's in the mood!
And this time he's after you! (Yeahhhh)

Yet SLAMing across this barren wasted land,
I feel new JAM will be born,
Beneath the blood stained SLAM (slam slam slam)...
Beneath the blood stained SLAM (slam slam slam)...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

" 'I have a dream.' That one day every Kong on this island will control their own destiny. A land of the truly funky, dammit. A nation of walnuts, not peanuts! Ruled by coconut guns, not crazy kongs! Where the law of the jungle changes to suit the Kong, not the other way around. Where the banana hoard is back where it belongs: in the hands of the Kongs! Where every monkey is free to think - to act - for himself! To hell with all these limp-donged Lankys and chickenSLAM Bluster Kongs. HUH this 24-hour internet spew of One-Winged Angel and DK Rap mashups! HUH DK Island pride! HUH the media! HUH ALL OF IT! DK Island is diseased. Rotten to the core. There's no saving it - we need to pull it out by the roots. Wipe the slate clean. PUNCH THE MOON ONTO IT! And from the ashes, a new DK Island will be born. Evolved, but untamed! The Tiny Kongs will be purged and the strongest will fly real high - free to fire in spurts as they see fit, they'll make the DK Island great again! On my new Island, Kongs will die and kill for what they BELIEVE! Not for banana coins, not for 1-up balloons! Not for what they're told is funky. Every Kong will be free to fight his own wars!"