Uploaded September 2020 | Updated September 2026, 1 week ago
Subscribe! youtube.com/channel/UCDbB0-DwLhT_Ihabb9QaT6A?sub_confirmation=1
Music & Lyrics by Ben Visini
Recorded & Edited by Ben Visini
Mastered with Cloudbounce via CDBaby
I AM NOT A RAPPER
This was mainly a writing exercise I did for fun that I thought would be cool to put over a beat
I've been doing a song a week for 6 months now, thank you so much for your support! I hope you're looking forward to the rest of the songs!
THE PLAN:
This is part of a project I'm doing called "7-Day Songs"! I'm challenging myself to write, record, and edit a new original song/video each week, every Tuesday. Planning to do this until the shelter-in-place/lockdown ends, might extend this past that!
I'm mainly a piano player & songwriter, not so much a recorder/mixer at all, so please bear with me as I try to improve these upcoming weeks!
LYRICS:
Lemme walk you through
How to do a Jew haiku
Show you how it’s done
It is a haiku
But about being Jewish
That’s - pretty much it
Let’s get it started
Like the red sea I part it
Never halfhearted
Spitting out fire
Now I got a burning bush
And I don’t mean kush
The 10 commandments
Gonna bust 'em out right now
God made you free - nice
No God but this one
Never use the name in vain
Sabbath is holy
Honor mom and dad
Killing is a big no-no
No adultery
You can never steal
Do not be a false witness
Don’t fuck your neighbor
So much in common
The Torah is a manga
Goes from right to left
Haikus and the Jews
Fit just like bagels and lox
Like guilt and...more guilt
Gefilte fishing
For some of these lines to work
Some can get tilted
If I were a rich
Man, na na na na na na
Na na na Batman!
Yes I am aware
That one was lazy as hell
I needed one more
Bar Mitzvah story
I was 13 and a man
With one facial hair
Synagogue showdown
Show the other kids in class
That I came prepared
I cannot read this
I could use a little help
Where are the vowels?
A minor foul
Suddenly remembering
What I need to say
It’s the haftarah
Barach atta ad-oh shit
That was the wrong prayer
Skip to the party
Got to drink a little wine
Thank you Abraham
Got raised in the chair
I am not afraid of heights
Wait, no - yes I am
Thinking of bubbe
She wants to give me a hug
She reeks of perfume
Old people saying
“I’m so proud of what you’ve done!”
I do not know you
This is so awkward
They give me an envelope
It’s a fat check - oooo
That’s enough stories
Time to do what I do best
And that is sex jokes
Forget the goy boys
I could be your best boy toy
Synagogue’d and gagged
I could be gentile
But I’m not a gentile
Making you smile
It’s Rosh Hashanah
And I wanna get on ya
Happy New Jew Year
If you wanna go
We’ll be fucking for six days
Rest on the seventh
Want some mood music?
I’ll blast Hava Nagila
When I feel ya
Harder than matzoh
Lots of things that I just said
Make me wanna stop
Subscribe! youtube.com/channel/UCDbB0-DwLhT_Ihabb9QaT6A?sub_confirmation=1
Music & Lyrics by Ben Visini
Recorded & Edited by Ben Visini
Mastered with Cloudbounce via CDBaby
I AM NOT A RAPPER
This was mainly a writing exercise I did for fun that I thought would be cool to put over a beat
I've been doing a song a week for 6 months now, thank you so much for your support! I hope you're looking forward to the rest of the songs!
THE PLAN:
This is part of a project I'm doing called "7-Day Songs"! I'm challenging myself to write, record, and edit a new original song/video each week, every Tuesday. Planning to do this until the shelter-in-place/lockdown ends, might extend this past that!
I'm mainly a piano player & songwriter, not so much a recorder/mixer at all, so please bear with me as I try to improve these upcoming weeks!
LYRICS:
Lemme walk you through
How to do a Jew haiku
Show you how it’s done
It is a haiku
But about being Jewish
That’s - pretty much it
Let’s get it started
Like the red sea I part it
Never halfhearted
Spitting out fire
Now I got a burning bush
And I don’t mean kush
The 10 commandments
Gonna bust 'em out right now
God made you free - nice
No God but this one
Never use the name in vain
Sabbath is holy
Honor mom and dad
Killing is a big no-no
No adultery
You can never steal
Do not be a false witness
Don’t fuck your neighbor
So much in common
The Torah is a manga
Goes from right to left
Haikus and the Jews
Fit just like bagels and lox
Like guilt and...more guilt
Gefilte fishing
For some of these lines to work
Some can get tilted
If I were a rich
Man, na na na na na na
Na na na Batman!
Yes I am aware
That one was lazy as hell
I needed one more
Bar Mitzvah story
I was 13 and a man
With one facial hair
Synagogue showdown
Show the other kids in class
That I came prepared
I cannot read this
I could use a little help
Where are the vowels?
A minor foul
Suddenly remembering
What I need to say
It’s the haftarah
Barach atta ad-oh shit
That was the wrong prayer
Skip to the party
Got to drink a little wine
Thank you Abraham
Got raised in the chair
I am not afraid of heights
Wait, no - yes I am
Thinking of bubbe
She wants to give me a hug
She reeks of perfume
Old people saying
“I’m so proud of what you’ve done!”
I do not know you
This is so awkward
They give me an envelope
It’s a fat check - oooo
That’s enough stories
Time to do what I do best
And that is sex jokes
Forget the goy boys
I could be your best boy toy
Synagogue’d and gagged
I could be gentile
But I’m not a gentile
Making you smile
It’s Rosh Hashanah
And I wanna get on ya
Happy New Jew Year
If you wanna go
We’ll be fucking for six days
Rest on the seventh
Want some mood music?
I’ll blast Hava Nagila
When I feel ya
Harder than matzoh
Lots of things that I just said
Make me wanna stop
