Uploaded May 2017 | Updated September 2026, 2 hours ago

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I've Never Wronged an Onion

Written By Robert Hargreaves & S. J. Damerel
Arranged and Performed by Russ Chandler

We know it was performed by George Bass (1888 - 1928) and Ernie Mayne (1871 - 1937).

I've seldom hurt a single thing or person in my life
Except people who don't matter like the landlord or the wife
But now I'm puzzled and my heart is broken you will see
Perhaps you can give me comfort, this is what has troubled me

I've never wronged an onion
I hope I never shall
I've never wronged an onion
I treat them as a pal
Tell me, tell me, tell me why?
I've never wronged an onion
Why does it make me cry?

The trusting heart of cabbages I've broken I will own
I've torn a lettuce limb from limb no mercy have a I shown
I've poked potatoes eyes out and not a single tear I've shed
And the blood of many beetroots is upon my head