Uploaded April 2024 | Updated September 2026, 1 week ago
Time makes fools of us all!
Like, who was going to guess this really old, fairly obscure, truly bizarre hybrid platformer and racing game... would find strange new life as part of an overpriced subscription tier library package?
Certainly not me.
I don't even know who owns the rights to this thing anymore in order for that arrangement to have happened!
This was one of those weird games you'd spot at a rental store, play for a weekend, and give back, comfortable with the knowledge that you didn't need to repeat the process. Maybe next time you'd find a winner among the shelves upon shelves of obscure titles with zero marketing you had never laid eyes on before that fateful moment.
It is from chance meetings like these that truly bizarre gaming experiences are had and treasured long after the mediocre play sessions are through.
---
This is NOT from the Nintendo Switch Online. I actually OWN this thing. No, your guess is as good as mine.
Suffice to say, I've had this one lying around for awhile. Not the cartridge, mind you (well, okay, there's that as well) ... I mean this VIDEO has been on YouTube, awaiting a description. For like... wait... ... ... let me check... ... ... HOW many years?!
...
... ...
... ... ...
Like I said, time makes fools of us all. Not me, though. Definitely not. Never happened. Couldn't be.
---
My real question is... what insane new arrivals will be waiting around the totally arbitrary calendar corner?
...I'd better (finally) get back to Body Harvest before I look foolish again. Erm. For the first time. Of course.
What's next? Chameleon Twist? Space Station Silicon Valley? Killer Instinct Gold? Quest 64! Castlevania! Conker's Ba-- okay, maybe not...
(But the one so far I'd have sworn was impossible was still Pilotwings 64.)
Time makes fools of us all!
Like, who was going to guess this really old, fairly obscure, truly bizarre hybrid platformer and racing game... would find strange new life as part of an overpriced subscription tier library package?
Certainly not me.
I don't even know who owns the rights to this thing anymore in order for that arrangement to have happened!
This was one of those weird games you'd spot at a rental store, play for a weekend, and give back, comfortable with the knowledge that you didn't need to repeat the process. Maybe next time you'd find a winner among the shelves upon shelves of obscure titles with zero marketing you had never laid eyes on before that fateful moment.
It is from chance meetings like these that truly bizarre gaming experiences are had and treasured long after the mediocre play sessions are through.
---
This is NOT from the Nintendo Switch Online. I actually OWN this thing. No, your guess is as good as mine.
Suffice to say, I've had this one lying around for awhile. Not the cartridge, mind you (well, okay, there's that as well) ... I mean this VIDEO has been on YouTube, awaiting a description. For like... wait... ... ... let me check... ... ... HOW many years?!
...
... ...
... ... ...
Like I said, time makes fools of us all. Not me, though. Definitely not. Never happened. Couldn't be.
---
My real question is... what insane new arrivals will be waiting around the totally arbitrary calendar corner?
...I'd better (finally) get back to Body Harvest before I look foolish again. Erm. For the first time. Of course.
What's next? Chameleon Twist? Space Station Silicon Valley? Killer Instinct Gold? Quest 64! Castlevania! Conker's Ba-- okay, maybe not...
(But the one so far I'd have sworn was impossible was still Pilotwings 64.)
![[Stream Archive] Splatoon Raiders 8. Just Keep Digging!](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Tb4uJ_XGyl4/mqdefault.jpg "[Stream Archive] Splatoon Raiders 8. Just Keep Digging!
With any luck, Ill finish early and spend my videogamelife playing video games instead!
I kinda screwed up the capture environment this time... so you CAN watch this one in the customary higher quality and no chat... but only the first two and a half hours or so were salvageable:
https://youtu.be/1O74_X_63LA
SORRY! (this ones going to stay unlisted, but ill still be linked here for posterity)
Originally ALSO streamed at:
https://twitch.tv/yuugijoou/
Stay up to date on what nonsense Im doing:
https://twitter.com/yuugijoou
https://discord.gg/bKT9pRW
...or, yknow, just harass me if Im doing something you dont like, whatever.")
![[Too-Late PSA...?] Monster Hunter Rise In the Event of Discontinuation](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/Un6rOBCBZ3A/mqdefault.jpg "[Too-Late PSA...?] Monster Hunter Rise In the Event of Discontinuation
Apologies in advance for the extreme length of this video and description... but I feel strongly about this matter.
Id SAY this is a public service announcement... but Im really late to do anything about it myself, so... its not like Im actually DOING anything for this minor crisis of preservation. Im barely staying ahead of it myself... sometimes.
In this regard, I suppose Im a bit of a cautionary tale of my own, rather than someone helping keep things on straight. Maybe more of a postmortem autopsy...
Monster Hunter has a bit of an odd relationship with its event quests... specifically the ones made with regard to outside third party content and collaborations.
Make no mistake, some of these are really interesting things. Things Id never have thought would come to pass, even. Some absolutely lovely, top-shelf crossover content.
My personal favorites have been some truly outlandish collabs with Shonen Jump properties... actual, honest-to-goodness manga content adapted into the games. Plus a nifty pirate-themed getup modeled after the publications distinctive mascot. An absolutely ornately-crafted Final Fantasy-style quasi-organic armor straight out of the imagination of Tetsuya Nomura. Actual crossovers with tight-fisted Nintendo of all things (especially notable before they started loosening up on their IPs for a bit of late), including Zelda and Fire Emblem and Mario and Animal Crossing! Across multiple games!
In the HD era, such collaborations grew rather sparse, but the efforts grew all the more elaborate and interesting. Added entire monsters to hunt from both The Witcher and Final Fantasy. The bulk of them from Capcom, of course, but theyre still getting increasingly detailed and bespoke engineering feats for wholesale replacements of both hunter and hunting buddies.
But now with increasingly (always-)online connectivity... some strange things have been afoot... ... ... ones I find a bit troubling and disturbing.
In the two most recent Monster Hunter games, World and now Rise... events can be taken BACK... that is, the crossover content removed and lost to the ages.
The Ubisoft-based events for Assassins Creed have been taken out of the game, the items earned from it no longer usable to create a signature item with unique gameplay impacts. The box office blockbuster movie tie-in quest and rewards are now rescinded.
The is happening to a couple of Monster Hunter Rises notable tie-in events. Specifically, ones pertaining to Sonic the Hedgehog and Universal Studios Japan. The latter of which is a bit of a surprise, because theyve been one of the most longstanding of all the various collaboration partners... and even then, the relevant tie-ins are STILL in the previous game, amidst other delisted collabs!
However, and heres where things get at least a LITTLE bit brighter... if were to call it that. A silver lining to all this doom and gloom, at least.
Rise uses the old style of event quest distribution, the one that most games in the franchise have made their bread and butter, in contrast to Worlds initially irregular coming and going of online-enabled quests in rotation, something that the mainline series hadnt tried since Monster Hunter Tri on the Wii, in fact. The upshot here being that if you download the quests before theyre no longer being distributed, you get to hang onto them in your expanded save data in perpetuity. You just wont be able to download them after the fact.
NOW were finally onto the point of order that has captured my curiosity.
With a totally blank slate for save data, youll definitely need to start up the game, get to the point where they stop trying to teach you how to interact with the home bases facilities... and THEN you can get the courier cat NPC to give up the goods. You MUST do this before the quest distribution is ended.
Somewhat surprisingly, it seems to do this... automatically now? At least the end of Senris spiel leads straight into telling you whats available in add-on content. You dont need to manually goad him into downloading it for you. (This might be a tip of the hat in favor of user friendliness to the sunsetting of the quests in question.)
THEN, I went out and made a SECOND fresh hunter alongside that one, to see how the procedure works out... and I didnt even need to do that much. The game apparently already recognized the relevant data and announced it being present and accounted for. Senri just needs you to claim it for the new players amassed content reserves.
I hesitantly take this to mean that you can conceivably make and unmake and remake as many save game files as you want afterwards, so long as the downloaded data remains intact for you to use at your leisure thereafter. Maybe.
I still wouldnt risk it, personally. So I have spare files just in case. (Well see!)
More super-untimely public service announcements where that came from!
twitter.com/yuugijoou
discord.gg/bKT9pRW")
![[Gameplay Only] Splatoon Raiders 6. Some Like It Hot](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/VMGIaHMUsLc/mqdefault.jpg "[Gameplay Only] Splatoon Raiders 6. Some Like It Hot
And some cant stand the heat... or the fishy smell?
If you NEED needless chatter clogging up the sidebar, theres that version as well:
https://youtube.com/live/Ff747jXD_v4
(but you lose some resolution coming from the livestream version)
Originally ALSO streamed at:
https://twitch.tv/yuugijoou/
Stay up to date on what nonsense Im doing:
https://twitter.com/yuugijoou
https://discord.gg/bKT9pRW
...or, yknow, just harass me if Im doing something you dont like, whatever.")
![[Gameplay Only] ICh Bin(M) Queen of (other peoples) Games... Development?!](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/VQAdTYkpJxc/mqdefault.jpg "[Gameplay Only] ICh Bin(M) Queen of (other peoples) Games... Development?!
I rule you? I rule you.
twitter.com/yuugijoou
discord.gg/bKT9pRW
(If you come on MY show, then Im afraid I somehow DO have some sense of non-fake authority. Yes. Please understand.)
Originally streamed at:
twitch.tv/yuugijoou
If youd rather see the game with a minimalistic puppet show facade and a distinct lack of sauciness involved, that versions here:
https://youtu.be/uUYvO7-lttg
If you want to see the gameplay more legibly, but still want to have the creators insightful anecdotes getting in the way of actually playing it, weve got that covered, too:
https://youtu.be/uPrdb8GvqSc
While im USUALLY a gameplay-only purist myself when it comes to video content (as much as thats at odds with the great lengths I go to insert MYSELF into the mix above all else... I at least DO make certain that I retain the clean copy like ID want all the same, with very few exceptions, EVEN when it doesnt make any sense anymore! like here!) ...I actually VERY MUCH recommend watching one of the other two versions for full and proper context.
And some improper context. And some general talking all over each other. Thats how a show is run, right?!
The game you see in this thing you CAN play. YOU! Yourself! It was made and published and even exists within a web browser for maximum portabilty and/or user safety!
ICh Bin(M) can be played here:
https://fromscratchsoftware.itch.io/ich-binm
From Scratch Software
https://fromscratchsoftware.itch.io/
https://twitch.tv/fromscratchsoftware
This was originally created as part of a Game Jam run by Pirate Software (there are even a few in-jokes to that effect!), so feel free to check out @PirateSoftware :
youtube.com/piratesoftware
twitch.tv/piratesoftware
twitter.com/piratesoftware
Full disclosure, I kinda screwed up here. Again. As usual. I mean, w-what?! N-Never! This never happens to me, I swear! Obviously!
I streamed AND captured this thing at a piddling 30fps by freak accident... its Monster Hunter Wildss fault, obviously, because it made me make a bunch of extra OBS layouts and configurations such that my array of choices got confusing! Yep! thats it!
Also, if there are any super weird pixel scaling issues, its because of the abnormal way in which I had to play the thing. (Some of which becomes apparent when I try to do something weird and impromptu during the stream itself! Fascinating! Definitely suboptimal! Sweet, sweet scuff!)
Theres no FULLSCREEN button in the corner either! The WHOLE time! Thats a figment of your imagination!
This is a bit of a weird one, but a pleasant one to have had the chance to do. And all it cost me was a day of trying to wrangle my local distractions AND an ill-advised night full of Xenoblade Chronicles! (Grr?!)
My buddy Scratch (see what he did there?!) makes games! I saw him build this one, somewhat. When I could spare some time and didnt mind vegging out and just listening to keys clack and tests run and information looked up. (He also cooks up a mean spreadsheet just to keep himself on task! Tasks like making spreadsheets! Productivity!)
Its a fairly simple game, which is part of why we were able to just sit down on a whim and try the thing in this fashion. I desperately tried to not-remember anything I mightve picked up while NOT zoning out during his development streams over on Twitch (or even as far back as when he was just showing them off to whoever would listen and watch on Discord), and I think my self-brain-erasure was PRETTY adequately performed. I now forget what turquoise means, but Im pretty confistruggle that it was a worthy sacrifiblender!
He also joked while we were watching him run through the stuff that I should voice the main character. A machine. Since its an indie game jam made under time constraints and natural complexity limitations, I goaded him on, as there was NO WAY this could EVER actually be turned into a thing.
And thats how the game got an ad-libbed, one-time-only performance by two people who only know how to speak in complete monotone. (Im playing a robot, whats your excuse?! ... ... ...whats MY excuse the REST of the time?!)
We also did some fun things like looking at his OTHER published game jam product that he now hates like a first or middle child who wont stop writing on the walls for attention.
Also I (eventually) broke his game! I told him I would! And not even in the way he told me would probably result in a catastrophic system failure!
Overall, it was a lot of fun! For me, anyway! Scratch assures me likewise, but I mightve had him under some sort of unspeakable duress at the time. You dont have to trust anything he says!
If YOU thought this was neat or fun or weird or interesting or a hellish experience youd never want to be offered ever again, please let me know, and Ill arrange appropriate reward/reprimand accordingly! :3")
![[Super Game Boy] Donkey Kong #4. Nature Walk](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/VtVWbN7bs9Y/mqdefault.jpg "[Super Game Boy] Donkey Kong #4. Nature Walk
Going on an ape hunt! Gonna find a big one!
twitter.com/yuugijoou
discord.gg/bKT9pRW
For extra funsies, hows about playing the thing WITHOUT the parts that ostensibly make it Super and not just Game Boy?
To get down to just the pixels and utterly defeat any purpose to playing it like this at all, try here:
https://youtu.be/lmMPOu6SrHU
I promise Ill be DONE talking about the Super Game Boy enhancements specific to this game and this hardware configuration soon enough... but I played it this way SO much that I flat out did not even KNOW for the longest time that the vocalized cries for HELP! at the start of nearly every stage were one such feature.
I mean, in hindsight, yeah, no, that makes sense... it definitely doesnt fit within the tech specs of a Game Boy game. But part of the magic and whimsy of having discovered the bizarre treasure that was the Super Game Boy and its capacity to confer bespoke diffentials from the original capabilities of a games base content... is the part that I hadnt even discovered just how well it was doing its job without my knowing it!
Listen. Kids are stupid. And observation skills and critical thinking come later. Sorry, kids. Youll grow out of it! Into... it? Something! You got this!
At least the lush, but INSANE (and not programmatically scalable with tech of the time) colorization was really eye-catching, so I didnt miss that. Until I was trying to figure out why a Game Boy Color apparently COULDNT manage to figure out how to do the same thing.
A wizard did it. At R&D2. Yep.
In this pre-World demo, we get introduced to... switches!
No! Wait! I swear! Its good! Its not oh, thats totally obvious!
Umm... ... ... Donkey Kong uses switches of a totally unnecessarily different design than the ones Mario uses?
(Its actually quite rare that Mario can even REACH a switch that DK might be using, and not just because theres some big palooka in the way, but this is more of an observation of the visual language of Donkey Kong 1994 than anything actually useful.)
In case it was unclear up to now, theres... like... a LOT of extra lives to be had in this game. Bonus stages. Time bonuses! Every four stages, the combined remaining timer values for stage clears all get added together, and you get a 1up for every 100 counts left over! Even the excess extras after that is an extra life!
Collecting all of Paulines dropped accessories (hats and handbags are one thing, but how many parasols does she ACTUALLY need?!) also gets you a free play of either a slot machine or a wheel of extra lives. Sure, its usually one life per visit, and Im REALLY bad at slot machines, but it all adds up! Mario is basically immortal! ... ... ...he better be, with how easy it is to utterly destroy his flimsy body.
Forest, 2-1
You may also quickly notice... this game has an absolutely absurd variety of enemies. Sure, most of them end up funcitonally identical in many ways and are just a snazzy coat of paint, like... two sprites at most each time. Its a small detail, but also simultaneously an abundant one, serving to make the overall flavor of an otherwise gentle curve of simple gameplay very gradually ramping up can always feel fresh.
Forest, 2-2
See? You didnt know all there was to know about switches from just that one little demo segment! They dont just control platforms in a slightly different fashion from those ladder and bridge pickups! They can control the movement of elevator platforms! They can even have more than two states!
Forest, 2-3
Two helpful notes here that dont really get shown off... you can actually safely crouch under the plants projectiles, but only when youre not holding something in your hands.
The other thing is that because the ladder pickup is so close to where Mario starts and the path to the door only shutters off once gameplay begins... you can actually block that shutter with the temporary ladder occupying that space, even after the ladder disappears.
These kinds of quirks in object interactions are critical to later stages in the game, but its more of a quirky footnote in this one.
Forest, 2-4
In a DK stage thats NOT the capstone of the whole themed world, youll tend to just need to reach Donkey Kong to scare him into running away, much like the three stages leading up to 100m in the original arcade progression.
In this case, its a recreation of the original stage layout for Donkey Kong Jr.!
... ... ...so... a reverse-reversal!")
![[Clip] F-Zero 99 First, Do ALL of the Harm! #fzero99](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/W0LNLFTja1c/mqdefault.jpg "[Clip] F-Zero 99 First, Do ALL of the Harm! #fzero99
*You can trust me, Im a doctor!
twitch.tv/yuugijoou
twitter.com/yuugijoou
discord.gg/bKT9pRW
*This is terrible medical advice for patients and practitioners alike. No one should ever follow anything I do for any reason whatsoever. In fact, its probably more medically sound to do the OPPOSITE of what I do or say. Probably.
(Bearing in mind that this is also something I said to do, so doing the opposite of... doing the opposite of what I say means... um... ... ... I need a doctor!)")
![[VTuber] Fire Emblem: Three Houses 12. Nothing Bad Happens at Prom!](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/WRdxWDdegfo/mqdefault.jpg "[VTuber] Fire Emblem: Three Houses 12. Nothing Bad Happens at Prom!
Name one work of fiction where an arc-defining terrible thing happened when youre expected to be super socially awkward making perfucntory merry!
If you need LESS chatter, theres that version as well:
https://youtu.be/xPQJPRANw3k
Originally ALSO streamed at:
https://twitch.tv/yuugijoou/
Stay up to date on what nonsense Im doing:
https://twitter.com/yuugijoou
https://discord.gg/bKT9pRW
...or, yknow, just harass me if Im doing something you dont like, whatever.")
![[NO AUDIO/Archive/Portrait Mode] Metroid Prime Hunters 1. The One with Sylux in It?!](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/X09l1tDWR1w/mqdefault.jpg "[NO AUDIO/Archive/Portrait Mode] Metroid Prime Hunters 1. The One with Sylux in It?!
Oops. I messed up. A fixed version is in the works and will be linked and this video unlisted as soon as reasonably possible. Please understand.
Originally streamed at:
twitch.tv/yuugijoou
You know, Im a bit of a Hunter myself:
twitter.com/yuugijoou
discord.gg/bKT9pRW
For the pure, janky and unadulteratedly scuffed stream experience:
https://youtu.be/_1F_XAZS_v0
Since I actually PLAN around being unable to play new releases on the day Im assured release day delivery supposedly happens, and Ive been trying to break back into two-screened capture... ... ... and Im really also really-really trying to commit to NOT neglecting YouTube so badly anymore, I think I should really just rip off the nondescript corporate-unafffiliated adhesive bandage strip cheese food product and get around to posting stream archives.
Yknow, the way I always talk about. To NOT let Jeff keep exclusivity to the content until he throws it away in the end after about a month or whatever. Doing things like that, only Jeff wins. He wins sweet, sweet fractions of pennies that nobody actually cares about.
Whereas the thing we should ACTUALLY care about is the content.
That just leaves my general squeamishness about uploading entire streams instead of more targeted episodic content. But I think weve seen how well I manage with THAT of late.
Of course, this ALSO represents a rather borderline insane conceptual paradigm shift that was way before its time and my general preparedness to handle it: vertical DS capture gameplay variants. And Im STILL not exactly where I want to be with it, BUT... the idea is not as inherently insane as it seems like it should be on a workflow level, since Ive managed to iron out the biggest kinks in having not only commentary and clean-audio variants, but selectively including and excising an entire uncanny puppet show on the side.
Im like one logical leap away from making peace with every possible want and need when it comes to that and more, and Im just shy of being able to claim confidence and comfort with a MUCH less hassle-prone workflow generating all the building blocks of a proper production environment. (And that goes for 3/DS capture AND ridiculous puppet pal monstrosities, where the skys the limit insofar as how visually depraved we can get.)
Definitely PLEASE yell my way if you have any input on any of these things.
Do you feel brazenly neglected that Im not doing a no-commentary version in the properly landscpe layout?
Do you think Im out of my mind for not only focusing on no-commentary video variants, but also a portrait style version for mobile screens? (Again?!)
Do you think the full-stream archives are indigestible garbage?
Do you think proper episodic uploads, even sourced from streams, would still be far more manageable and therefore worth pursuing? (If its NOT watchable, whats the point in expecting anyone to want to WATCH them?)
Do you think its the greatest shame of all that I thereby cut my description-to-video ratio way too far in the visual direction over the verbose? (And most of the descriptions in cases like these are wasted on PRODUCTION NOTES?! Wheres the three-page thesis on the deep meaning of the Slench?!)")
![[Super Game Boy] Donkey Kong #1. Humble Beginnings](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/X5c-bFJEuG4/mqdefault.jpg "[Super Game Boy] Donkey Kong #1. Humble Beginnings
But... like... celebrating Mar 10... with... ... ... a game called... just... Donkey Kong?
...Marios name isnt even in this thing!
Hes also like... black and white and some weird orange color. Are you sure this is even Mario? (Hes just some... Jumpman!)
Incidentally, this Donkey Kong design is itself the most... refined as yet of its original concept. Its particularly interesting, since it would be all but entirely supplanted for decades to follow without question scant months later with Donkey Kong Country.
And now, we find ourselves upon the eve of such as potential comprehensive redesign almost as sweeping, the confluence of film and the oncoming headlights of go-karts...
For extra funsies, hows about playing the thing WITHOUT the parts that ostensibly make it Super and not just Game Boy?
To get down to just the pixels and utterly defeat any purpose to playing it like this at all, try here:
https://youtu.be/5LKn8bnZERg
I think its pretty fun that the border is mocked up in the style of an old Donkey Kong arcade cabinet... although the details are a bit... strained... in order to fit within the limitations of the Super Nintendo video output with any degree of clarity.
Happy March 10 regardless!
twitter.com/yuugijoou
discord.gg/bKT9pRW
Anyway, without further ado, I present... Marios first ever video game.
...or the enhanced remake thereof. Thirteen years in the making!
And I do mean ENHANCED.
What do you mean you cant tell, theyre such tiny little pixels blown up too many times even when they were on the absolutely minuscule SNES native resolution, then bordered to oblivion to make them seem even smaller?
(You wouldnt be one of those pscyhos who would prefer to stretch the whole thing out regardless of screen ratio, right?!)
Anyway, the arcade original is, at best, four stages. Sometimes some of them cut for technical constraints when ported over to other platforms.
25m
By far, among the most well-known and celebrated of vintage arcade platformer stages. Its... actually kind of annoying when you get down to it, though. I mean, who ever heard of barrels rolling down ladders? At their own randomized volition?!
That said, theres no better nor more familiar stomping ground upon which to highlight the improved faculties in Marios arsenal. Hes some kind of miraculous gymnast! Acrobatic privileges heretofore unseen and unimagined, at least not until two years later when he would prance about in three dimensions for unprecedented mobilities to revolutionize the platformer all over again as we know it.
To wit: he can no longer simply subsist on Jump, man! He can handspring! He can backflip! He can toss a hammer skyward and collect it once more as it descends! Most significant of all, he can fall an entire height of his own without instantly perishing! Remastered, indeed!
50m
For my moneys worth, this one is the most particular fever dream stage of the lot, since I mentioned that compromises notably had to be made to make the whole surely massive game that is Donkey Kong fit on other formats.
Its notable that Nintendo itself commissioned a variant of the NES port for its Virtual Console purposes in anniversary celebration that reinstated this one... to unusual technical dismay, but surely technology has advanced far enough to permit such hackish measures?
75m
I would say, in modern days, perhaps among the most infamous of stages, perfectly preserved for the ages... much to the ongoing suffering of the newly exposed.
Its historically fascinating level design, to be sure... but not exactly well-suited to being used in a quasi-competitive brawler context.
And dont even get me started on completionists of yonder newfangled three-dee collect-a-thon platformers the likes of which Jumpman himself eventually unleashed upon us all... the confluence of the subgenre and Donkey Kongs own lineage! ... ... ...and all for a paltry token with Nintendos own mark emblazoned upon it?!
100m
A strangely open-ended and, dare I say... proactive... stage? No longer content to present you an obstacle course from point A to point B, Jumpman is presented a task: walk across these... floor bolts... and they disappear. But whatever would happen to this structure if they were all removed?
And there you have it. The classic tale. The origin story. Never has it been so utterly... palatable? Jumpman gets the girl and all is well! We can once more bury this dusty old relic in the annals of history from whence it came.
... ... ...
Surely!")
