Uploaded April 2026 | Updated September 2026, 1 week ago
Rachel Bernstein explains how people involved in cultic groups or manipulative relationships can become agents of hurt and control, creating a “victim-perpetrator” collision that challenges the idea that someone is only a victim or only a perpetrator. It describes this as a predictable outcome of coercive control, where adopting the leader’s values and methods can feel like a necessary survival strategy, including Anna Freud’s concept of “identification with the aggressor.” However, acting like the abuser does not guarantee safety and can be devastating. After leaving, good people may experience moral injury and remorse for harm they caused under pressure. Rachel urges viewers to notice when they are being coerced into actions that feel wrong and to protect themselves from being used in ways that will leave them carrying lifelong guilt.
00:00 Victim Perpetrator Overlap
01:26 Identification With Aggressor
02:13 Moral Injury After Leaving
02:39 Spotting Coercion Early
03:22 Protect Your Integrity
03:55 Final Caution And Care
The IndoctriNation Podcast is a weekly show covering cults, manipulators, & systems of control. Hosted by Rachel Bernstein LMFT, Cult Specialist.
Featured in The New York Times
Join Patreon: patreon.com/indoctrination
Follow on social media: https://linktr.ee/indoctrination
Webinars/Video Lectures: rachelbernsteintherapy.com/videos.html
Why Fear Makes Us Say "Yes" When We Should Have Said "No" (Free PDF): education.rachelbernsteintherapy.com/why-fear-makes-us-say-yes
Am I Dating a Narcissist? (Free PDF) : education.rachelbernsteintherapy.com/am-i-dating-a-narcissist
Do I Have a Safe Therapist (Free PDF): education.rachelbernsteintherapy.com/do-i-have-a-safe-therapist
5 Signs of an Emotionally Manipulative Partner (Free PDF): education.rachelbernsteintherapy.com/five-signs-of-emotionally-manipulative-partner
Rachel Bernstein explains how people involved in cultic groups or manipulative relationships can become agents of hurt and control, creating a “victim-perpetrator” collision that challenges the idea that someone is only a victim or only a perpetrator. It describes this as a predictable outcome of coercive control, where adopting the leader’s values and methods can feel like a necessary survival strategy, including Anna Freud’s concept of “identification with the aggressor.” However, acting like the abuser does not guarantee safety and can be devastating. After leaving, good people may experience moral injury and remorse for harm they caused under pressure. Rachel urges viewers to notice when they are being coerced into actions that feel wrong and to protect themselves from being used in ways that will leave them carrying lifelong guilt.
00:00 Victim Perpetrator Overlap
01:26 Identification With Aggressor
02:13 Moral Injury After Leaving
02:39 Spotting Coercion Early
03:22 Protect Your Integrity
03:55 Final Caution And Care
The IndoctriNation Podcast is a weekly show covering cults, manipulators, & systems of control. Hosted by Rachel Bernstein LMFT, Cult Specialist.
Featured in The New York Times
Join Patreon: patreon.com/indoctrination
Follow on social media: https://linktr.ee/indoctrination
Webinars/Video Lectures: rachelbernsteintherapy.com/videos.html
Why Fear Makes Us Say "Yes" When We Should Have Said "No" (Free PDF): education.rachelbernsteintherapy.com/why-fear-makes-us-say-yes
Am I Dating a Narcissist? (Free PDF) : education.rachelbernsteintherapy.com/am-i-dating-a-narcissist
Do I Have a Safe Therapist (Free PDF): education.rachelbernsteintherapy.com/do-i-have-a-safe-therapist
5 Signs of an Emotionally Manipulative Partner (Free PDF): education.rachelbernsteintherapy.com/five-signs-of-emotionally-manipulative-partner
