Uploaded April 2019 | Updated September 2026, 2 days ago

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parody of Short Skirt/Long Jacket by Cake youtube.com/watch?v=u7aDstrDMf0
It's probably been done before, maybe even lots of times, but I don't care

LYRICS

I want a waifu with a school girl outfit
I want a waifu who loves head pats
I want a waifu with laser sword hands
And a character sheet with maxed out stats

I want a waifu with penchant for violence
Who’s smug and a bully
And Tsundere as heck
She’s pulling on my heartstrings
She’s baking me a cake
She’s tilting her head slightly
And consistently quoting Shrek

I want a waifu with a short fuse and a long hammer

I want a waifu with a curious nature
I want a waifu who goes “awoo”
I want a waifu who is always late to school
Who uses a sasumata to run others through
Within her heart is the power of friendship
Which is used to awaken my hidden powers

She is small, timid
And looks like she’s eight
She’s actually a thousand
And totally not just bait

I want a waifu with a short film and a long… long series

I want a waifu with a round, firm buttocks
I want a waifu with a flat, board chest
At comic con I’ll molest her accidentally
I’ll trip over and land on top of her breasts

She wants a car with a tentacle armrest
She wants a car that is very lewd
She’s mobilized the army, she’s invaded china
She’s changing her gender from dude, to dude with a vagina

I want a waifu with a short nya and a loooooong eeeehhhhh.