Uploaded March 2010 | Updated September 2026, 4 days ago

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"I intuitively knew and sensed he did, too
Our relationship couldnt continue to balance, as it did, on the point of a knife.
We would fall off one edge or the other, depending entirely upon his decision, or his instincts.
My decision was made, made before Id ever consciously chosen, and I was committed to seeing it through.
Because there was nothing more terrifying to me, more excruciating, than the thought of turning away from him.
It was an impossibility."

so for the next vidder's challenge we each were assigned a fandom and an emotion. I got Twilight and fear so of course my first reaction was
"ooo I feel special, that's a hard one and they think I can do it"
then about five minutes later it was
"...f*ck how am I going to do this?"

I searched my library of music, thought of different Midnight Sun ideas
but nothing was good enough.

Then someone posted the above quote on tumblr, and I re-read the passage of twilight
talked with clarissa and it was obvious

Bella's fear of being with Edward
Bella's fear of being without Edward
Bella's fear of losing Edward.

it made sense. Then I needed the song,
I heard this one recently in another video I liked
and it just seemed perfect.

So this video is about Bella first realizing Edward is a vampire
and also of her feelings. How she was going to act on them.

It starts in black and white because she is unsure, but then once
she's sure of it, Color.

hope you all like it :)

Next video will be up saturday,
my birthday gift to you
also another vlog will be up next week.

♥Courtney