Uploaded August 2026 | Updated September 2026, 4 hours ago
On this week's episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: What is the distinction between a love story and a life story? And what happens when they no longer move in the same direction?
After returning to the Philippines to reconnect with a former partner she never fully let go of, she finds herself overwhelmed by grief, longing, and the fear of saying goodbye.
Esther helps her untangle the relationship from the life it once represented and explore why some goodbyes are harder than others. What does it mean to hold onto someone with love without remaining tethered to them forever?
Chapters
00:00 Is This a Love Story or a Life Story?
00:54 Why Can't I Let Go of My Ex?
03:37 What Made This Love So Defining?
06:08 Why Did He Come Back Only to Disappear Again?
08:03 What Is the Real Question Here?
09:27 Can You Love Someone New While Holding On to the Past?
11:13 What Keeps You Tied to Someone Who Left?
15:07 Did Losing Your Family Make Him Harder to Leave?
18:27 Why Did You Keep Going Back?
21:07 What Chapter of Your Life Does He Belong To?
23:25 Why Couldn't This Relationship Move Forward?
24:01 What Was He Really Saying No To?
24:45 Where Do You Put a Love That Never Ends?
25:44 Is This Story Already Finished?
27:03 Why Is Goodbye Still So Hard?
28:26 What Changed When You Saw Your Family Again?
31:41 How Do You Walk Back Across the Bridge?
32:59 What Would You Say in Your Goodbye Letter?
36:25 Can You Set Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty?
40:23 Where Should You Keep the Memories?
42:39 What Happens When You Share the Box?
44:04 Did You Come to Hold On or to Say Goodbye?
About Where Should We Begin?:
Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others.
About Esther Perel:
Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or subscribe to her Substack, Entre Nous.
On this week's episode of Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel: What is the distinction between a love story and a life story? And what happens when they no longer move in the same direction?
After returning to the Philippines to reconnect with a former partner she never fully let go of, she finds herself overwhelmed by grief, longing, and the fear of saying goodbye.
Esther helps her untangle the relationship from the life it once represented and explore why some goodbyes are harder than others. What does it mean to hold onto someone with love without remaining tethered to them forever?
Chapters
00:00 Is This a Love Story or a Life Story?
00:54 Why Can't I Let Go of My Ex?
03:37 What Made This Love So Defining?
06:08 Why Did He Come Back Only to Disappear Again?
08:03 What Is the Real Question Here?
09:27 Can You Love Someone New While Holding On to the Past?
11:13 What Keeps You Tied to Someone Who Left?
15:07 Did Losing Your Family Make Him Harder to Leave?
18:27 Why Did You Keep Going Back?
21:07 What Chapter of Your Life Does He Belong To?
23:25 Why Couldn't This Relationship Move Forward?
24:01 What Was He Really Saying No To?
24:45 Where Do You Put a Love That Never Ends?
25:44 Is This Story Already Finished?
27:03 Why Is Goodbye Still So Hard?
28:26 What Changed When You Saw Your Family Again?
31:41 How Do You Walk Back Across the Bridge?
32:59 What Would You Say in Your Goodbye Letter?
36:25 Can You Set Boundaries Without Feeling Guilty?
40:23 Where Should You Keep the Memories?
42:39 What Happens When You Share the Box?
44:04 Did You Come to Hold On or to Say Goodbye?
About Where Should We Begin?:
Every Monday morning, step into the office of iconic psychotherapist Esther Perel and listen in as real people in search of insight bare the raw, intimate, and profound details of their stories. From breakups and open relationships to workplace conflicts and fractures in the family, it’s a place to hear our own stories reflected in the lives of others.
About Esther Perel:
Psychotherapist, relationship expert, and New York Times bestselling author Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and original voices on modern relationships. Fluent in nine languages, she helms a therapy practice in New York City and serves as an organizational consultant for Fortune 500 companies around the world. Her celebrated TED Talks have garnered more than 40 million views and her bestselling books, Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs, are global phenomena translated into more than 30 languages. Esther is also the host of the hit podcast Where Should We Begin? which is available on Apple Podcasts. Learn more at EstherPerel.com or subscribe to her Substack, Entre Nous.
